Putting a Face to the Cliche

(Updated 12/04/06)

So like I promised this post is going to be a "fun" post, fun meaning pictures and loosely career related...I will give details on my interview later(nothing exciting really happened though)

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If you haven't figured this out by now, I'm a strong patron of the idea that "We all have one life to live" and as much as I want to make most of my mistakes myself and learn from them, life is way too short to accomplish that. So let's thank GOD for those people whose actions (the good, the bad, and the straight up QUASIMODOish) are broadcasted across the media allowing me and you pick up a thing or two from them...and in the process bring several cliches to life.

These celebrities/tv characters don't all necessarily have the "ABBEY MAGNET", heck some of that are not even real, but they really have taught me some random thing or the other


KELLY CLARKSON: In my opinion...the best idol yet! Her songs are a significant part of my "GET HYPE" collection and even though I didn't watch idol that season(probably didn't even know it existed, it was freshman year and my fresh off the boat self could still hear the "face your books" lecture the folks gave me so I watched very little TV), but watching her performances now keeps reminding me of what I missed. I was watching the season 1 auditions a few weeks ago, at a time when I was significantly down in dumps with regards to this whole application process.

I had just found out that one of the premeds I interviewed with on the same day had already been accepted to the school we both interviewed at. I hadn't even heard a word from them, and it was now a month after the interview. It was one of my dream schools too...so I was getting worried. I was obviously not a first choice among their candidates. So they were waiting to review more applicants before me. Would they eventually pick me? Would they not? So there I was in my apartment, battling acute onset Mellonophobia when I caught the show.

It was the end of the auditions, 45 candidates were left. Simon, Paula and Randy had to cut 15 to be left with the 30 that would participate in the show. After a heated debate they agreed on 15 that they definately wanted to keep, went into the waiting room and broke the news to them. They still needed to pick 15 more from the remaining 30 "so-so" candidates and they debated for a few more hours as to who this 15 will be. They eventually reached a decision. Would you believe that Kelly was one of the 30 "so-so" candidates they had to think hard before they picked? And wasn't it this same girl that out shone everyone else when the show started and eventually won?

Is that a BREAK-AWAY or what?!

NNENNA AGBA: Our girl from the Nigerian East-side (insert chant here and throw up gang signs, lol), I wouldn't say I was the greatest fan of her look but the judges seemed to like it so I was pretty confident (like most other people) that if she didn't win the competition, she would at least be in the final four. She was good right from the beginning, took beautiful photos, won all the challenges, etc...but she still got cut considerably early in the show. At least my girl got a free trip to Thailand out of it.

The lesson here is the reason she got cut. The judges admitted she was great and probably one of the top candidates to be ANTM but she had a little problem. SHE WAS STAGNANT. She neither improved nor got worse. Just stagnant! And she got the boot. For some reason that judging session plays in my head pretty often...maybe too often. You know we human beings, we hustle for something and when we eventually get it, we have a tendency to relax. At least I do. So on the days I get to work and all I want to do is sit on my butt and become an Internet Explorer, I remember the letter I wrote to my boss literally begging for the job, I also remember Nnenna. In view of this, I ATTEMPT(key word) to dedicate at least one hour on my slow days to self improvement. I do something to make me look smarter...I try reading another boring research publication to learn some new lingo I can conveniently toss around during our next meeting, I pick someone's brain, whatever...just something to get me through another judging round...ANYTHING so I don't get NNENNARIZED!

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FLASHBACK

Location: Heaven

Time: March 29th, 1984 (Human time)

GOD: "I want to end 1984 with a bang...let's create something earth shattering"

Angel 1: "But, Great One, we just made your daughter ABBEY, roughly 6 months ago" *;)*

GOD: "6 and 3/4 months ago, you have to be more specific with your details...didn't we go through this last time too?"

Angel 1: (wings fall, looking sad) "My apologies Master, please don't NNENNARIZE me..."

GOD: "Cheer up, I will do no such thing, you know I always give chances"

Angel 1: (smiling)"How could I forget. You are the best...So what do you have in mind this time Lord?"

GOD: "Hmmm...a whiz kid!"

Angel 2: "Another Einstein?"

Angel 3: "Or a modern day Daniel?"

GOD: "You underestimate my creativity, think outside the box...Tomorrow(their time), LeBron will be conceived!"

Angel 3 to Angel 2: "LeBron?...Interesting choice of names"

GOD: "I heard that. Creativity guys, Creativity...let's get to work"

Angel 4: "What are his genetic specs? What would he be able to do?"

GOD: "EVERYTHING. (leaning back on His throne, smiling knowingly) ...Think Chamberlain"
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LEBRON JAMES: If I say I never used to hate on this guy I will be lying. Well maybe it won't exactly be a lie. I wasn't directly hating. I was hating on behalf of all the other NBA players that had been slaving away for years to at least get a spot on ESPN's top ten plays. Then some little kid comes along, their own kids' agemate and get's a spot there almost everytime he touches the ball.
So what did I learn from him? Success is not a zero-sum game. The fact that LeBron is successful doesn't mean no other player can be successful either. So rather than waste time hating, I've learnt to appreciate the successes of others and learn a thing or two from it because their success doesn't hinder mine in any way, if anything, it makes it easier for me. So next time you begin to feel somewhat green about someone's talents, success, luck, etc...catch yourself, take a lesson or two from it, appreciate God's work and focus on building your own success. But I know there are those few "Melroses" out there that rub it in your face so much that it's beyond human ability to not feel like strangling them!

JOAN Vs TONI*: Unlike Carrie and her girls that always seem to be on such great terms, Girlfriends gives us a little more realistic girl-on-girl drama. Best friends since childhood, Joan & Toni have had a disturbing on and off relationship. Riddled with petty jealousy, leaky mouth issues and one that was just a victim of pump and circumstance. Apparently all their history and a psychiatrist were not enough to solve their many problems.

Vs

So the lesson here is probably that try as you might, some relationships(social, romantic, business, etc) are never meant to be and even when they manage to exist, are simply headed for disaster. The sooner one figures these things out the better...I have wasted a lot of my time in the past trying to fix things that were obviously broken beyond repair but now, like many other blogger buddies have mentioned recently, I'm sooo moving on.
(*indicates fictional characters)

LATRELL SPREWELL: Another story from the NBA. I just rememebered this dude a few days ago and I couldn't help but laugh at the turn of events. In case you don't know him, its not really your fault. This guy seemed to spend most of his career on one form of suspension or the other. When it was time to renew his contract in 2005, my guy was about 34 at this point and his career was obviously on the decline. His team (Minnesota Timberwolves) offered his aging behind $21 million for 3 years but his greedy self responded that ~7 million a year(~5 million is the current average) was not enough to feed his his family.
My only question is "What does this family of his eat?" cus last time I checked 7mill can feed a whole country and change! You can be sure no one even listened to him...he has not stepped his foot on the hardwood since then. I wonder how he feeds his family now that he has no J-O-B. His lesson to me?...something about looking a gift horse in the mouth comes to mind.




CARRIE AND "BIG"*: What's BIG's real name anyways? Whatever it is, the cliche here is that "If I'm meant to be a doctor, no matter how many Aidans, sexy french men, and even myself that come between, it will happen" Nuff said





GREGORY HOUSE, MD*: When I eventually become a doc(AMEN!!), I won't mind walking the wards with this "pill-a-popping-leg-a-limping" character and in the process learn a thing or two while simultaneously becoming numb to garden variety racial and sexist derisions. I get the feeling this guy cares more about the disease than the unfortunate vessel containing them. But one way or the other, Hippocratic oath aside, both him and his patients end up happy at the end of the day.
His lesson to me?...when you are the shizznit at whatever you do, you call your own shots. Ethics become guidelines and rules become mere suggestions. Well, most of the time...

MICHAEL RICHARDS: (How on earth could I forget him??) Funny enough not much to say...the glaring cliches here are
-"Keeping it real can really, REALLY go wrong " and from the good book,
- "Be angry but [please, pwitty please] do not sin"


Honorable mention:
Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock- Note to self: Buying a third pair of flip flops from the same store even though the last two broke after two weeks puts you right in the same category with these guys. And no, the convenience of the store's location/familiarity is not an excuse...hop on the bus and look for someone, I mean something, more stable(I really am talking about flip flops, no metaphors lol)! In case you don't know, the cliche here is "Doing the same thing the same way, multiple times, and expecting different results, is straight up insanity.

OK before I start airing my mild OCD tendencies in public...I'll stop here, we'll get back to hardcore medicine now that I've had a little fun.

Brain cells reporting back for duty...Over
Roger. Welcome back guys...Over and out


Did I forget anyone obvious?