Getting into Medical School, aka Holy of Holies (the F-1 version)

Just When You Think The Worst is Over...

2007-07-06T00:07:00.000-04:00

Ok this last month has been one heck of a roller coaster. You will think getting admitted into medical school is the hardest part of the deal(well, OK, actually it is) but the paper work you have to do after that is just crazy.

So obviously you have to get financial aid right? Well try getting your parent's tax information(aka W2 forms) from a third world country. Until now I never even knew people paid taxes in Nigeria. So for the last 2 months I was waiting to get this tax information from home to submit my financial aid (FA) forms...you know...they have to verify that your dad isn't the King of Zamunda before they start giving you all kinds of scholarships and loans. So here I was with a deadline and waiting on the govt to release my parents tax information. One week before the deadline my mom's information was released (after paying $250 in "processing" fees of course), apparently my dad's will follow shortly. I got a phone call later from my mom telling me that they were now asking for another $750 to get my dad's information. You gotta love the inconsistency of the Nigerian bureaucracy. I proceeded to stare at my bank account for about 10 mins to try and figure out how I could squeeze out all that money...never mind that I still have to somehow pay rent, purchase a car and oh-yeah EAT. At this point I call the Oh-so-nice people in the admission office and begin to ask for some kind of extension seeing as there was no way one week would be enough to submit and process my FA application. I was thankfully granted a five day extension. Hopefully that would be enough. [By the way this deadline is the time within which I must show that I have the funds to cover my expenses for the first year of school (~60,000). If I had my financial aid award, I could deduct the amount I was given from the 60k and just show the balance in an account in my name. So say I was given 50k in aid, I needed to show that there was another 10k sitting in my bank account to cover the balance...you get the drift?]. Of course if I missed the deadline, my acceptance will be withdrawn, I will be back to square one and all the other good stuff that came with that...

After looking with no success for a way to bypass feeding the corruption of the Treasury Dept back home, at the end of the day I figured I would rather pay the 750 and face the possibility of starvation than wake up 10 yrs from now and realize I tanked my dreams because of what will then look like a very meager sum of money. It was after coming to this decision that I got on the phone with another Nigerian at the medical school to ask questions about apartments and such. We were about to round up our conversation when I casually decided to vent and ask how she went about getting all the tax info and stuff during her time. Her response was a life saver:

"What tax information? Who has such a thing in Nigeria??"

Apparently the lady I had been communicating with in the FA office was somewhat new and did not know how foreign students went about such things. All I needed was a Notary Public stating how much my parents earned. REALLY?!! I resisted the urge to call my parents at 3am their time and waited till they were up to give them the good news. Within two days I had all the necessary documents, submitted the application, still had my $750 in my account and waited to see how much I was going to be getting from the school.

On the day of the deadline, I got the information. I was hoping that with the need I showed on my application, I would have gotten most of my expenses covered either by scholarships or loans (all the aid is Need Based, no merit aid) and maybe have to show about 5-10000 dollars to cover the rest. Well, when I received the fax that afternoon, there was a gaping hole...30k wasn't covered by any of the aid. So somehow between now and the end of the business day(ahem 3hrs) I had to show 30k in my account. I quickly called the FA office to let them know what was going on and if there was any other way I could get the 30k covered. There was, thankfully, but it was a loan that I had to apply for and that would take about a week plus to go through.

I obviously did not have a week.

By LEGAL(I promise) means that I do not currently care to go into, I had 30,000 dollars in my account the next day, printed off the statements and faxed it over to the admissions office. For the next few days, I had to battle the urge to take all that money and get myself a lexus or something instead of the run down cars I had been looking to buy for a while now.

As we speak, the loan I applied for has gone through, I have returned the 30,000 to my benefactors (bye,bye Lexus) and I can now confidently say that the application process is finally over. [I have also prepared some form of speech ready in case the IRS or some other kind of watch dog wonders what kind of business I am involved in that involves juggling large sums of money between multiple bank accounts(especially with the "great" publicity we Nigerians are getting in the financial world)] I wake up most morinings now and count my blessings. I got into a school I actually wanted to go to, I will be financially independent- I didn't have to take out a loan under anyone's name, I got a better deal than expected on my car and I'm vacationing for the next month trying everything possible not to use my brain.

I hope this journey has inspired someone, it was the most vulnerable I have felt in my short life but it paid off in the end. There are probably people out there wondering if they're good enough to get into medical school or whatever dream career they plan on going into, I felt the same way at the beginning of this process and wanted to back out before the end just in case I didn't get in anywhere, at least I could withdraw my apps before they all actually rejected me. But I'm glad I saw it through. Thank-you all for the support, being able to share the process with you even during the most difficult parts was a very potent stress reliever.

Honestly if this whole process didn't work out, I would literally have had to pack my bags and go back home because I would have lost my legal status...but He really did not bring me out this far to take me back again...

PROMISED LAND HERE I COME!!

Please continue to send emails and questions my way, I love hearing from you and will try to help the best I can (abbeykay@gmail.com)

You really have no excuse now!

2007-05-26T20:58:00.000-04:00

For anyone who thought it was too late to make that dream come true (CLICK)

I hear the sound...

2007-05-18T00:37:00.001-04:00

Well it seems a lot can change in 24 hours...no, stop, this is not permission for you to skip to the end of the post to figure it out.

I was getting ready for our weekly lab meeting and I remember walking to the room thinking that for the first time in my life I had no back-up plan. Normally, I would have at least two back-up jokers to pull out when the going gets rough but this time there were no options. Of course as I head to the meeting room I made sure my phone was in my pocket in the "silent" vibrate mode. (Post May 15th, your phone quickly becomes your best friend).

And unfortunately instead of paying attention to the meeting's speaker as I sat in the chilly conference room, I kept playing out likely outcomes of this application process in my mind and counting down the minutes till the meeting was over so I could rush to the computer, log on to SDN and figure out who else had been pulled off a waitlist.

The "silent" vibrate on my phone goes off and I get a few polite stares. Normally I would just silence it without looking at the number, but nothing has been normal since July 25th. I pull out the phone and try to figure out the weird area code. Hmmm doesn't look familiar...so I step out of the room to pick it up.

Apparently this was the second before the second my life will be changed for good. Just like that the dean I had been writing to over the last few weeks was on the other side. For once he was looking for me and not the other way around. It felt weird. So this is what it feels like to actually get this call...no loan cosigner needed...no bottle of water from the fountain of youth required...just show up cus we have a sit for you in our incoming class. I go back into the meeting room and as I get in I consider yelling to everyone that I just got into one of my top choice institutions, probably not very professional so I attempt to sit calmly in my chair. Needless to say the rest of the meeting was just a big blur. But one thing's for sure.

Fight-or-Flight response is hereby suspended. Whatever else I get now is simply icing on the cake. And I know the icing is coming because I hear the sound of an abundance of rain.

Ahem...its funny how one little phone call can do wonders for the faith right? Someone remind me of this when next I complain. Thank you for all your support and kind words. Keep them coming though anything can still happen between now and June-July. I also pray that all your heart desires will be realized at the right time and not a moment later.

PAINFULLY WATCHING PAINT DRY...

2007-05-15T23:30:00.000-04:00

For the one or hopefully two of you that haven't given up on me, thanks...I'm still here and the last month or so has been a battle to keep my sanity. The appointed date is here and it has almost passed like any other...I woke up this morning, looked at my cell/very-annoying-alarm clock and as my brain finally deciphered that the 1 and 5 next to May wasn't May 51st, 7020, I realized it was finally here and must have unfortunately missed the heavenly host's rendition of "GLORIA" to commemorate the occasion.

And so the wait and worry continues. Never in my life would I talk smack about those Israelites again...it's so sad that after how far I have come in this journey and all the miracles I've seen, I arrive at the coast of the Red Sea and can't seem to trust the ONE that brought me here.

The mind is willing...but the flesh is so darn weak!

2007-04-22T20:52:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry for deserting you all for this long. There just hasn't been any ground breaking news. I'm officially in the middle of the toughest part of this cycle-Staring at the clock and willing it to be May 15th already. But as if TIME itself knows I hold my breath, it drags its feet, counting every second twice before proceeding to the next, and then counting that four times.

Having so much time on one's hand is also bad in many other ways. The nerves have kicked in. Summer is approaching and in a few months I will be starting the path to my future career. It's hard for me because not only do I wonder if I'm ready for this journey, I also have to deal with committing myself finally to one career path-something I have thus far subtley avoided. In college I had two majors just in case medicine didn't work out, even as I get ready for the real thing, I have already started mapping out degrees to add on just in case I don't enjoy medicine as much as I think I will. But that has to stop! The running is over and my hand is just about an inch away from the plow and once it lands on there...there is no looking back, cus going back to one's vomit is just straight up gross.

But this brings up other issues. What if I just don't have the energy to continue? I was jumping ahead a bit and looking at some of the class schedules for some schools. I remember seeing a two-and-a-half hour free block of time in between classes in one of them. Seeing as classes that day would have started at 8:30am the first thing I thought was "Yes, nap time!" Ummmmm NO! This will no longer be undergrad where you delay studying till a week before the test and still ace it, this is med school in which everything I learnt in one year of anatomy would probably be taught in a month. YIKES!

24 days till May 15th - the day the floodgates openeth and those that wait upon the lists might eventually stand a chance

RIP Virginia Tech Victims

Bedside Manner Where Art Thou?

2007-04-10T01:28:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone had a good easter! Mine was great! If I was back home, I would have had the pleasant opportunity of having friday and monday off but oh well. Speaking of which, why do people celebrate Easter Monday again?

So what did I do for easter? A family at church was nice enough to invite us poor no-family-nearby "students" to Easter dinner at their home. So there I was trying to be social and mingle with the other guests before the formal dinner began when the following took place:

Man: So what do you do?

Me: I do research at the Med School

Man: Oh nice, what are you researching?

This is always a hard question when you don't know what background your audience has. There's a thin line between try to speak in layman's terms and talking down to someone.

Me: It's loosely related to Disease XYZ

Man:(Stares on like he's waiting for further explanation)

OK...he must be some kind of scientist. Our host was one so it would not be too far-fetched to assume some of his guests will be too. I proceed to explain further in moderate details. Sensing I was beginning to lose him, I can back up to the surface and rounded up.

Man: (Nods) So why don't you study "Disease (Insert completely unrelated and obscure autoimmune syndrome here)"

Me: (Mentally flipping through my Med Terminology IOI textbook and trying to split up the syndrome's name into logical parts-complete with very confused look sweeping across my face)

Man: (Laughing) just kidding

Me: Well you got me

By the way, before this day, I had tried to brush up on the little science I knew seeing as our host was a seemingly big shot cancer scientist for a definately big shot pharma company. Yes...I know it's just an Easter dinner but it is also one of the many opportunities to make a full of yourself over a dinner table of 20 or so people...yeah on occasion, I'm more Type A than I like to admit

Me: So where did you pull that name out of?

Man: Well my wife has the syndrome

Ok time-out. Man just pretty much revealed to you that his wife has some syndrome that you have not had the opportunity to Wikipedia yet. Wife is present at party so you know whatever it is, the syndrome is probably not debilitating enough to confine her to bed. She looks very normal etc. So what would be the best response to man's statement?

Aristotle:(The-Must-think-very-deeply squad) Hmm that's a pity have you considered how this may relate to the alignment of certain astronomical bodies?

Hippocrates: (The-Must-do-no-harm squad) I'm really sorry to hear that, how hard is it to manage?

Me: (The-Must-perpetually-and-stupidly-think-every-disease-is-cool squad) Hmmmm Interesting.

As the words left my mouth, the extent of their stupidity and cold heartedness struck me. This was not immunology class where every pathway was something to drool over, this was a human being...you know...the soul behind the pathway and the first words that come out of your mouth is that?! Needless to say the conversation ended a tad bit awkwardly and my attempts to dig myself out of the ten foot hole I dug seemed essentially futile.

I proceeded to kick myself for the rest of dinner.

2007-04-03T00:49:00.000-04:00

I have struggled to find a minute amidst all the craziness I'm currently trying to juggle to update you on what has been going on in my world. So here goes:

Well...another waitlist came in last week. Not even from a school I want to attend but all the same the thought of being on three waitlists can be very depressing. It means I really won't figure out where I'm going till May or later. It's looking like a long summer already :(

Unto relatively more exciting stuff, I went for the seminar and reception for Ben Carson and it was pretty inspiring again. I remember him walking quietly into the room while everyone was outside where the food was. I was sitting in the empty room at this time and as he casually walked over to the podium to set down his stuff I kept thinking
"Wow this is him?! This is THE guy"

It was weird to meet the man behind the book and actually hear him refer to many of the stories in there during his speech. I felt like I was meeting a fragment of my imagination in person because I had formed a personal image of him that fit perfectly with the way he told the story. I also got him to sign my book and in between the hand shake leading up to the signing, I kept reminding myself that I was currently holding the hands that had been in the central processing units of the highest of God's creation, and here the hands were, looking like mine and yours. And he also does do this thing with them too while talking to you (the whole rubbing together at chest level thingy) that makes you do nothing else but just stare at them. I had to force myself to make eye contact during our two minute encounter. His wife was also there too but I really didn't get to talk to her.

The next book I ordered and I'm currently awaiting is "The Language of God" by Dr.Francis Collins one of the Chief Scientists behind the Human Genome Project. Hopefully by the time I finish it, it would be June and I would know for sure what prestigious institution of medicine I will be indenturing myself to for the next four years...ahem...PSYCHE!

2007-03-22T00:01:00.000-04:00

Ok too good to be true I know...but I get this sudden epiphany to check my work email which I check like once every two weeks. I see an email from this lady whose mails always talk about one seminar or the other. I'm like "Ok let's see what seminar it is this time"

Guess who the speaker is?

Ben Carson?!?!

I promise you I don't make this stuff up, apparently the truth is really stranger than fiction!!!

And they're giving a free lunch too..I'll really have to be crazy not to go. It's in a few days(like a week plus) so I'll let you guys know how it goes.

BOOK IN REVIEW: "Gifted Hands"

2007-03-21T00:24:00.000-04:00

So after a few nudges, I ordered my copy of Ben Carson's book.

I got those few minutes of "if a 'ghetto' kid from Detroit can do it, I definitely can too"

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But I also got the few scary moments- One of these was his very point blank statement about how it was his gifted hands (aka "extraordinary eye and hand coordination") that made him a great surgeon and even though there were many surgeons out there, just as many who didn't have (or learn) this skill were plagued with complications in their surgery.

The scary thing was the fact that you didn't have to have this gift to become a surgeon, so you might very well hustle all the way for 10+ years of your life all for you to find out you're just average and could have been better at something else? As in there's no conspicuous gnome with a big bright red flag on the way that yells out "WRONG DIRECTION!!!"? Or maybe there is and we just ignore it?

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Also very comforting were his words about putting competition aside and just trying to be the best you can be. I was forced to learn this at work because it's not class where you know there's going to be an exam and you can actually aim to be the best in class. There's no one else in this class but you. And the goal is simply to be better than the person you were yesterday. A much harder task because there is really no finish line.

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There was also the part when he was in med school and had pretty much digested his text books so much that he knew more than the neurosurgery residents. Apparently, a few of them ended up handing over their pagers to him and getting him to answer their calls while they caught up on sleep. Like he said, some people would call this being taken advantage of, but really, it's a textbook case of a symbiotic relationship - Partner A benefits by getting extra sleep and Partner B by gaining extremely useful hands on experience.

So here I am a few more months to finishing work and I remind my boss that I would be checking out early summer and starting my three month fun-albeit-broke-vacation before I start med school. You can imagine my surprise when he comes back to me in a few minutes and starts to attempt to arrange for me to stay longer. I'm trying to explain that it's not a choice but rather a necessity seeing as my work authorization would be ending. Even more to my astonishment, all sorts of wheels started rolling to make a legal stay extension possible. For a few minutes I had to catch myself and put it all in perspective...Dear GOD, is this the same me that was always mad at myself for not being better at my work and thought they were probably counting down the days till my depature? I remember talking to one of the kind people helping me with the paperwork and she expressed that they were just probably trying to use me as much as possible before I left etc. Call me ignorant, naive, insecure or whatever but the fact that I am even considered "skilled" enough to be "used" is kind of a big deal and can we exactly call it USING if I'm learning more and simultaneously smiling all the way to the bank every Friday? My word for it - symbiosis good people, S-Y-M-B-I-O-S-I-S. I'm the crocodile bird giving the croc a free tooth pick and simultaneously getting my dinner.

We'll see if the paper work comes through. And even if it doesn't, it's the thought that counts.
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All in all, Gifted Hands was a good and inspiring book, some parts were so cliche though that I felt I could predict what would happen. But I guess cliches are cliches for a reason-most knowledge really is hidden in books all over the place, and hardwork and faithfulness to GOD really does pay off eventually.

Has anyone else read this book? What did you think about it?
Thanks for recommending it "Aunt" I really needed it.

2007-03-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my recent AWOLness.

So all things being equal the story of my third MCAT was supposed to be my last post in the whole application process. I was supposed to keep everyone wondering whether or not I took the exam again(like u were even thinking about it) and finally let it all out the day I knew where I will be attending med school for sure. You know...something in the line of "And after all the MCAT struggles...here I am going to my dream school, blah blah blah".

Ummm....YEEAAAHHH, all things are so not equal.

Here I was a week and a half ago basically living in cyberspace waiting for admission results from that school that had been playing dodgeball with my heart(and hundred other premed's) for a week or so, under a kind of pressure I never knew I could feel. It was then that the whole journey of the last 2.5 years started flashing before my eyes, and again I started reliving every single MCAT I had taken...the last one being the most traumatic and thus giving birth to my "Blast from the past". But the daydreams come and go and I'm currently enjoying a hopefully longer period of peace from them.

For the benefit of those who didn't quite understand the details of my last post, the "war" was my third MCAT. "Battle 1" - the Physics Section, "Battle 2"- the Verbal Section and 3 - the Biological Sciences section.

So yeah I walked out of the exam feeling like I completely bombed the whole thing. This would have been especially harzadous to my whole situation if I didn't at least show an upward trend in my scores. But what could I do...my little shading bubble sheet was probably awaiting it's turn in some "little shading bubble sheet reader thingy" hundreds of miles away and nothing I could do could change anything. No matter how many times I woke up in the middle of the night to work out one of the exam problems I happened to remember to verify my answer...crazy days maan, CRAIZEEE DAYS. Anyways, 8 weeks later(yes they kept us waiting for about 2 extra weeks!) the results did come out.

I did one point better than my second MCAT. One point! I scaled through it by the skin of my tooth. The Physics that I thought I monumentally screwed up ended up being thesame score as the last time I took it (miraculously)...my Bio finally came through and I got an almost perfect score in that section. So maybe that was the only good that came out of the whole thing. I never got the 30+ score I wanted or thought I needed so bad. It was a 29, darn close.

At the risk of sounding extremely cheesy...realizing I was that close but yet not quite there made me realize that the battle was not going to be mine this time. If I had probably done very well on the exam I would have gone into this process on a very high horse and would only be setting myself to be thrown off later. So hey, better now than later right? (*Kneeling and Praying* Plss GOD I have really learnt from this-don't let it happen to me again)

PS: My AWOLness was due to trying to dig myself out of a waitlist. Yeah after the dodgeball game they left me sitting on the fence....I spent all of last week conveying in writing to their dean that the first words I uttered in my life was their institution's name. Half way through, I figured I might as well send an update to whatever other schools I was still interested in. I promise you premeds out there, if you want to reduce the chances of you becoming a serial scribe...seriously...kick butt in every single blessed way! SEERREEUSSLLEEE!!!!

BLAST FROM THE PAST

2007-02-28T22:19:00.000-05:00

There's that feeling of knowing you let yourself down, knowing you could have done better, laying down to sleep and thinking that if you will it hard enough, you could go back in time and do things over(even though you have tried and failed for most of your life). Heck...you sometimes even dream that it is that day again, that you're in that moment-the moment before the moment everything went downhill. The moment when you decided to go right instead of left and have to forever live with that part of your history forever.

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It felt just like every other April morning, the snow was finally melting and spring was fighting its way out of its deep slumber. She was not deceived though, she knew old man winter was going to strike again before long. 5 wintry years had taught her indellible lessons. She walked down the familiar hill toward the familiar room. But this time the room was going to be serving another purpose. It was going to be the site of the 3 battles of a war. She tried to feel for the usual eye sting she got whenever she did not quite get those 7 hours. Slightly there, but certainly not as much as the first time. We can definately work with that. She made a mental account of the many sleepless nights that had led till today...hopefully they were enough. The room was now in sight and she took in the surroundings. They were going to be her home for the next few hours. Too many hours. She noticed her wide eyed counterparts...all chitter chattering in little hurdles, clutching their drug of choice. She had since learned that the best way to face this was cold turkey, better to be a little slow at first than have to fight the caffeine gitters for the next few hours. If only they knew what lay ahead. She did.

They all took their seats. The battle was about to begin. She glanced around one last time to see if there was anyone noticeably crumbling under pressure. It was a tough crew...everyone with their game face on. She mentally recited the rules of the battle along with the general...there had to be some points for remembering those-for being a real veteran. Battle 1 began. She recalled the pattern. Attack the weaker foes first in under 15 minutes and move on to conquer the tough ones. Today though the supposedly weaker foes seemed to have gained a new kind of strength, they weren't giving in easily. She knew the drill...it was 15 mins,leave them and proceed. Leave them and proceed. But the demons from her past wouldn't let her go.

"You have to do them, they're easy spoils, they're your chance"

"But I have to move on, there's bigger foes to conquer"

"But how do you know you will conquer the bigger foes, remember this has to be your last attempt at this war?"

20 minutes and counting...

"Ok I'll give it another try..."

30 minutes

She gave up, and moved on. But now she had eaten into the time for the rest of the battle. Her heart was pounding.

"Why didn't I just move on?"

She rushed through the rest of the battleground, slashing throats blindly with no time to verify the enemy was completely down. The more enemies she attacked, the higher the chance of her at least killing some.

Battle 1 was over. All the foes were down but she was positive they were not all out. Among all her past wars, battle 1 had never felt this way. This was bad. She was convinced her best bet was to surrender before the other 2 battles. Give up, walk home and roll back into bed.

Not in this lifetime...

Battle 2 started. But she never really concentrated, the wounds of the first battle were still hunting her.

"Why didn't I just move on"

"Why, Why...But it's now the past, must concentrate on this one"

The voices silenced themselves but not entirely. They relocated to her subconscious and the whole battle seemed to play out in slow motion. She was doing the conquering but she knew this wasn't the same either. Her mind wasn't right. She chugged along, the thoughts of ejecting herself mid battle creeped in again.

"CONCENTRATE DARN IT!!!"

The final battle was her strong point. She had studied this enemy for most of her life and knew it like the back of her hand. By this time all the thoughts in her subconscious seemed to have been silenced. Everything went smoothly. There was even time to make sure each enemy was completely out. That had never happened in the last two wars. It was definately a good sign. She approached the general after the war. At this moment, the happenings of the earlier battles revived themselves. You might have one the final battle but what about the other two? She had one more chance to cancel the whole experience...erase it from time like it had never happened. Again the blatant answer was "NO!"

She walked out...it would take 6 weeks to count the number of foes that she actually conquered. 6 long weeks. She stepped out into the open...the day always seemed different after a war. You felt like you had just faced death and lived to tell the story. The grasses looked a bit greener and the dirty melting snow a bit whiter. No matter the situation, this was going to be her last time in battle. 3 times was more than enough...whatever happens here on, HAPPENS.

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Something did happen. The dreams began.

To be continued...

2007-02-24T15:06:00.000-05:00

OK Friday has come and gone...no news. The word in town is that they have postponed decisions till next week!! Longer wait I guess, no stress...YEAH RIGHT!

The News in (not-so) Brief

2007-02-19T22:01:00.000-05:00

Soo umm yeah...Hope everyone had a nice Val's day. As for me, it confirmed my theory that I am skilled at picking the worst days of the year to travel. Trying to get to my last interview was a nightmare. Almost all flights were delayed out of NY and many of them eventually got cancelled. My flight was to leave at 4:30 but got delayed till 7pm instead. It was currently 3pm. I took it calmly...never mind the fact that I woke up bright and early and skipped work all in an effort to get to NY on time. But the we'll-just-wait-and-see spirit died out quickly when flight after flight was getting announced as cancelled every minute. I started getting nervous and decided to call the school to find out if my interview would be rescheduled in the VERY LIKELY event that my flight got cancelled. They were nice about it (seeing as their airport itself shut down a few days before) and let me know that there were other available dates. Cool! But even if I got another date how did I know I would be able to reschedule another flight for the right time in the middle of all this mess! The biggest motivating factor though was my $133.80 that was currently dangling dangerously close to the drain.

As my bank account and the hours of labor it would take for me to make that money back flashed before my eyes, I quickly threw my half eaten lo-mein noodles down the trash and carried my bag and baggages to the front desk. Another flight to my destination that was supposed to have left about 3hrs earlier was currently boarding so I figured I better try to get my behind on it. As the ladies(dunno their official titles) punched away at their keyboard creating magic seats for people, I waited in line trying to think of a convincing story as to why I needed to get on this flight by any means necessary. Just in case having an interview that might determine the rest of my life, or the fact that the longer I stayed at the airport the more time I had to feed my unhealthy addiction for airport spending wasn't enough. Luckily though, I didn't even have to give any reason. They worked their magic, I got on and enjoyed every ear-popping-chewing-gum-not-helping minute of it!

Coming back was just as rigorous though and I did not get home till about 4am the next morning...four hours before I had to feign allertness at work. But all in all, the interview was great and I got free and much needed lunch bag(at least that's what I'm using the bag for). And for now, I'm done with interviews.(Dear GOD, Surprises are very welcome, please).

The week also had another little happening. My student got the scores of her test back. I spoke to her while on the bus to the airport after my interview, we were trying to schedule our next meeting and work out minor details(they are taking another test in MAY). We finished talking, we hung up and then it clicked to me that she was to receive her test scores back that day. The fact that it was not the first thing she blurted out over the phone only pointed to one thing-that she did not do well. Or if I wanted to be a Pollyanna about it, that the scores just did not come out that day. I nervously called her back and as I expected, Pollyanna died a quick and painful death. She had a little above a 600/800 on the test. Now that is by no means a bad score, and it was a significant improvement(150+ points) but it is definitely not what she wanted(700+/800). I felt so bad for her because I knew her parents were going to be extremely disappointed in her...which she confirmed later. I'm sorry to stereotype but I feel Asian parents tend to be a bit too hard on their kids...like seriously, I know African parents are hardcore and the only professions they know are Medicine and Engineering, but I have to give the Asians the award. They expect their kids to have perfect grades and simultaneously be the best at the countless extra-curriculars they do. At least African parents don't care about extra-currics, musical talent or any other skill they cannot explain to their friends in one word!

Long story short I was/am a bit down about the whole thing and my confidence has fallen way down. Even at our last session I was second guessing everything I said and wondering if they were going to call me later to fire me. As much as I think it's not completely my fault(remember I said they changed the exam timing on me) I still can't help but put some blame on myself. Oh well, life goes on and she will probably be taking the exam again later, maybe we'll have more time then! So needless to say I've been preparing like crazy for our future sessions and just trying to make sure I'm doing everything within my power(this whole thing was supposed to be a casual extra money affair but I'm quickly become emotionally attached-it's beginning to sound like a one night stand gone bad right?)

Anyways...to top it all, I get a decision about my admission from one of my top choices at the end of this week! If I remember correctly, after interviewing, there's a 50% chance of an acceptance, 10% rejection and 40% waitlist. I'm trying not to think about it but currently failing hopelessly in that avenue!!

The "If All Else Fails" Option

2007-02-12T18:01:00.000-05:00

Location: ER in Abbeyville talking to a patient's foster mom. Patient(~2 years old) has a very rare genetic syndrome(less than 5 living cases currently). She's getting ready to spend another night with him in the hospital, I was passing by her room and she looked dead tired so I stopped by to perform my very "important" role:

Me: "Would you like some juice or something..."

Mom: Sipping her juice "Everytime we come here everyone is just so nice to us. But honestly though...I think they just want to study him. All the doctors start popping in and paging each other incase someone missed the show the last time we were here"

Me: "I don't blame them...it's pretty intriguing that he's the only one in the whole US with the syndrome. But taking care of him must be so much work"

Mom: "Well I wouldn't have adopted him if he wasn't classified as adoptable"

Me: "Yeah...makes sense, but you're doing such a great job"

Mom: "Thanks...but honestly, after him, I'm done with foster kids. Except I go to Africa to adopt. There are so many kids over there that need a good family and anyways, that's what Oprah said we should do now"

Me: "Ohh" wow Miss Oprah is more powerful than I thought "But please lay off the Madonna stunts"

Mom: "Mhmmm...by the way, what do you want to be eventually?"

Me:"A doctor"

Mom: "What kind?"

Me:"Not really sure, I don't have to decide for another 3 or so years..."

Mom:"But you have to have an idea..."

Me:"Ok if you insist...for the last few weeks, I've been wanting to be a neurologist" At this point I go into a spiel about how I would love to do surgery if I get a chance, but need time for family and fun blah blah blah "...but as of now I'm still scared of the potential debt I will be incuring in school"

Mom: "Oh you need money for med school?

Me: "Yup a whole lot..."

Mom: "Just send Oprah an email"

Me: ::Very confused look gradually creeping up on my face::

Mom: "Shooo I did it"

Drafting a hypothetical email in my head:

"Dear Oprah,

How are you? And how is Chicago?(geez..sounds cheesy already) Hope Stedman is doing good too. You see I don't really watch your show-it comes on way too early in the day but if I could, I really would(my letter would be officially tossed out at this point)-and you did a great job with that school in South Africa, if I could go to high school all over again, I would surely bust my butt to get in, but I guess it's only for poor South African orphans. I don't mean to sound like an ingrate, everything done to benefit Africa is good, but why does everything have to happen in South Africa...they're like the most developed Sub-Saharan African country, but that's OK it's probably the Mandela factor and I respect that.

I'll cut to the chase and acknowledge the elephant in the room...
Can you hook a sista up with 250Gs for med school? Haa faave!!

Sorry I'm getting carried away...

Why do I need your help you might ask? Well I have not saved the world...yet, it's on the agenda though, I have not swam across a river filled with hungry alligators to save myself from warring rebels, I know you tend to like stories of overcoming hardships like that...but would you use my normal childhood against me?? It reminds me of the time I went to a free clinic and was turned away for HAVING INSURANCE even after explaining that I was UNDERINSURED. One of the few times I could actually afford to purchase some meagre insurance policy and it was used against me? Sorry, weak analogy. Oh AND, with the change from the loan, I could get TiVo, record your show and watch it when I get back from school. Touche.

I'm sure you are just dying to meet me after this outstanding email...never mind, I'll be in Chicago on val's day and I won't hesistate to stop by your studio to ~~put some pressure on~~ meet you in person.

School starts in about 6 months(HINT HINT)

Thanks and keep up the good work,
"Not-so-Poor-African-Kid that really wants to be a doctor"
***************************************************************

Seriously though...who thinks of doing that??

CAN THEY BE FRIENDS?

2007-02-07T08:55:00.000-05:00

I am gradually becoming the person I never wanted to be: A "Once-A-Week" blogger. It's not that I don't have ideas, it's more a matter of time, so please bear with me. And to make matters worse I'm about to pull out stuff from the back corners of my mind...you know-the place where you lock up stuff you don't want to deal with until it miraculously unlocks itself and you have to step back and ask for answers.

So open up your mind, and work with me:

It must have been sometime in December last year, I was standing in front of some random white board in a random conference room trying to creatively convey to my student why sponges(phylum:Porifera) are considered animals and at the same time why they are less complex than say... earthworms(phylum:Annelida), an organism that evolved later in time. I remember cramming all the Pteridophytas et al (American Pronunciation:teree-DAW-fta, Nigerian Pronunciation: TE-REE-DOH-FAAIGHTA. Back then, we probably figured if we were going to have to memorize weird latin words, we might as well emphasize every single painful syllable it had lol) in high school and regurgitating them mindlessly on exams and eventually, in college using theories of evolution to explain how we came to being from some random one celled organism that existed eons ago. But I had blocked my mind and sequestered these concepts to an obscure part of my brain, it wasn't my opinion, it was that of the crazy scientists. But here I was now imparting this crazy scientist knowledge on some one else, but with a little caveat to save face-"at least that's how THEY say it works, I personally don't believe it but just learn it for your exam"

After that random tutoring session, I remember thinking of myself as a hypocrite. I grew up believing beautiful stories of Adam, Eve and the Garden of Eden. How GOD created the world in seven days, etc and all throughout my short career as a science student, I put pen to paper numerous times and boldly attested otherwise. For the first time though, I let the "church" part of my brain talk to the "science" part. I laid all my guards down and after the brief but awkward silence that two strangers thrown together in a room experience, the ever liberal scientific side asked the conservative "church" side..."WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?"

Thus began an ongoing "re"concilliation process. I have tried to think logically of a way GOD could be involved in evolution. Where logic fails, prayer fills the void. Is it not possible that GOD could have created a self-maintaining system that HE did not have to micromanage? You know, like creating the first microbe and setting the wheels in motion for a process that would lead to the development of the most complex of HIS organisms-US. The evidence is really compelling. Why else will scientists be able to test new drugs on mice, monkeys et al and just add on a few tweaks here and there to make it useful in humans. And of course the closer "related" the organisms are to man in evolutionary time, the less tweaking is needed (usually). And if you look at any random genetic code, certain proteins have been conserved(remained similar/the same) from organisms like roundworms all the way to humans.

One compelling point I got from a Christian Scientist whose opinion I respect, was this challenge. Why do we think 7 days is literally SEVEN DAYS. It could be the equivalent of SEVEN EONS right? Didn't GOD tell Abraham he would soon become the father of many nations only for the events to happen more than 20 years later? Also even the creation story acknowledged the land was first separated from the waters, then sea animals were created and then the land animals. This strongly supports scientists theory that the evolution of higher animals, started with the fish(water), then the frogs(amphibians-both land and water dwellers), the reptiles(sole land dwellers), birds, then mammals.

Yet another compelling theory is that of Natural Selection. The only reason a disease such as sickle cell still exists today(as opposed to all carriers dying off to prevent transmission of such a chronic disease to their offspring) is because carriers of the S hemoglobin have been selected for over time. The maintenance of this potentially problematic S-hemoglobin in the gene pool was advantageous because it offered some kind of resistance to malaria-a disease which is very prevalent in areas where most of the carriers descended from.

I did not delve into some kind of thesis research to get info for this post because I didn't want it to sound any more like a boring science article than it already does, but these are the points that stand out for me in trying to unite these two schools of thought. I also tried to avoid mainstream technicalities like CREATIONISM,etc, we don't all have to fit in a category do we? I feel the need to figure out what exactly I believe in because simply put,
- I don't enjoy teaching people things I don't believe
- There is significant evidence supporting each side of this argument and trying to hold on to a belief system without using it to explain practical things in life is of no use to me.

So I guess the whole point of this hoobla is: Think logically and open-mindedly for a second, step out of your cosy belief system and if you can, tell me what you believe about this? Do you think the evolution of life could have been initiated on its own, without any higher power's intervention? Or do you think all the evidence aside, scientists just make these things up? No don't google anything, no research just your raw thoughts...

Little Victories

2007-01-31T21:09:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your comments on the last post...seems more people will support going for the scholarship regardless of rank etc. Actually, everyone but the premeds seem to support this notion. I thought about it some more and talked to a few people about it. One comment that stuck with me the most was similar to Folu's.

What I was told was that it probably all depends on what you eventually want to do with the MD degree. If you just want to be a doctor, then your school doesn't matter, so go anywhere but if you're planning to go into research/academia or a competitive specialty, then you might be better of going to a school with a good reputation.

But then, what if you're trying to leave your options open...aaarrgghhhh

Unto more exciting and less confusing current issues; some of my hustling and glorified boot-licking has come through. The same school that put me on a pre-interview hold during my "week from hell", that I eventually sent a letter and other "look-at-me-I-really-am-smart" documents finally gave me an interview last week. It's ironic because I remember writing another one of the update letters for yet another school a day or two before this and as I was about to send it, I stared at it for a few minutes and asked GOD if any of this extra, seemingly unnecessary labor was even worth the stress and time. And the same week, the answer came. So one more interview is on the horizon.

And the interview is in the exact same city as my last one. I thought about it for a minute and was about to fuss and complain about paying for two tickets instead of one...but thought otherwise. If there's anything this process has taught me, and my bank account, it's that Dreams aren't cheap these days!

In similar news, I took another update letter to the admissions office here. I had been to their office like two times before this and all I was told was to either go home and wait, or from the last time, if you really want to go to school here, write us a letter. So I obediently wrote one and decided to take a few minutes off work to hand deliver it myself. I addressed it to the dean of admissions and figured I'd probably just drop it off with someone in his office. No chance I was going to meet him. When I got to the office, I spoke to a very nice lady and casually asked her if the dean was around. Expecting the ususal "No", I simultaneously motioned the letter at her to deliver for me when she smiled and told me he was in his office. It was lunch hour so I was in no way expecting this lucky break. Thank GOD I didn't wear my tattered jeans that morning, I only took them off as an afterthought!! As she went to notify him I quickly did a breath check, said a quick prayer and prepared myself for an impromptu interview(scene of Will Smith in the cab with one of the stock brokers and his rubik's cube from the Pursuit of Happiness playing in my head at this point). After greeting and everything, I spent way too long apologizing for not making an appointment and just barging into his office while he continued to stare at his computer and talk to me about some problem he was having with whatever he was doing on it. Shoot, this would be a good time to miraculously solve whatever the problem was (lol) or worse yet embarass myself. The right side of my brain placed that all too mischievous left one in check and probably for a good reason this time. I just waited as he continued to punch keys here and there.

He finally fixed whatever was wrong and looked up while offering me a seat and we got talking. He pulled up my application online, asked me a few questions about my hometown, how I got to the US, how I got to their school etc. It really was a mini-interview...he also took my letter and stuck a post-it on it mentioning that I stopped by his office in person. And that was it...my ten minutes to present my case was over. I didn't even bother mulling over every word I uttered like I do for other interviews, ok I did it just a bit but not as much. I just walked back to work singing some african style praise and worship songs in my head. Too excited. I don't know if I'll get a call/email for an official interview but I'm just going to keep hoping and praying.

Hope the news inspires someone to get off their behind and do something about whatever it is they want...cus your miracle can find you but sometimes it kinda has to know you want it too!

Meanwhile, I need to find a dry cleaner for my one-in-town...I told y'all I wasn't ready to hang it up yet, and now we're going to be off on another journey soon. Hmm that dry cleaner better have some skills because if anything happens to the only suit I've ever had in my life...

Would you go for a dream school over a practical "not-so-dream" choice?

2007-01-25T19:37:00.000-05:00

I'm answering O.E's question as a post because I've been thinking about it a lot myself.

(Staring into space trying to think of an analogy for this one)

Here's the best I could come up with

If you're not a lady, first assume you're one. Ok now let's be shallow and a tad bit over the top for a moment:
- If you had to pick between dating...nah this is more serious than dating...MARRYING John Aint Nobody or Prince William, (ok let's assume lucky Miss Kate hasn't gotten into the picture yet),who would you choose? Easy right? Well here's the small print

John Aint Nobody: Nice friendly guy, everybody loves him, so do you. Well at least so you thought, until Prince William, your life long crush that you have hence forth deemed unattainable, started sending you some secret love notes. Now everytime you hop into sweet John's old and faithful toyota you think of the possibility that it could be a bentley, complete with a state of the art GPS-finally, you can both get to your destination on time without having to convince John to stop and ask for directions. But on the other hand, the day you marry John will also be the day the $500, 000 inheritance from grandma will get deposited into his account, so you know financial worries would be out of the question for a while...assuming you both spend the money wisely.

Prince William: You were happy with John until His Royal Highness came trotting along. He hasn't even proposed yet but now as hard as you try, you can't stop seeing yourself in those diamond clad evening gowns with thousands of people running after you trying to catch a whiff of your fart to sell on eBay. Then there's also the way everyone would raise an eyebrow everytime they find out who's wife you are. There are a few things that are not so exciting about a future marriage though. For starters you hate London. Then there's all the uppitty etiquette that comes with your new position. And even worse, for some reason the pastor of your church, your voodoo priest or your psychic(pick one) tells you that with William, all the glamour aside, the first ten years of your marriage are going to be hella rough but after that it will be smooth sailing. Why does he have to rain on your freaking parade?! He's probably hating just cus its not his daughter about to marry some Prince (shoot he hasn't proposed)...
Deep inside though, you know his prophecies are fail proof...but dang it's the Prince!!

Ok now pick!
***************************************************************

So John is the average med school that accepts you, gives you a good financial aid package, is located in a beautiful town etc. One thing is for sure, after med school you're not going to be in any significant debt.

Then there's the Prince. That top school that you didn't even think you'll get an interview at, then you get stressed out at work one day...throw down your experiments and go seek a safe haven in your email. And voila there's the dream interview. It's not an acceptance but you're already dreaming that it is. Even though the school is in a crazily expensive city, or in a city where stepping out of your apartment on any given day might also mean taking a stray bullet to the heart, you still want it like no man's business. And then there's the minor issue of them not giving as much financial aid as the other average med school you were accepted at. Which inevitably means the first ten+ years of your career will be spent repaying student loans!!

Personally it's a very tough decision but certain experiences have cleared things up a bit. From the few interviews I've gone to it seems every one just wants to know how I got into Ivy Que, what I do there, how it feels to come from a small school to a world renowned school etc. So yeah...imagine what doors would open if you attend such a med school.

The same attending I talked to last week tried to convince me that where you went for med school didn't really matter. Apparently the only thing important is where you do your residency. Hind sight is 20-20 though. It's like trying to convince a premed that the adcomms do look at your application as a whole not just your MCAT and GPA, I know I didn't believe that for a minute.

So would I give up a full scholarship at a so-so school for a top ranked dream school that gives me little or no scholarship?

...A car is a car but you never know when that extra GPS you had to pay extra for will come in handy!!

I must add though that if two schools are close in ranking, reputation etc, then I will start being picky as per location, financial aid package, etc

I might be a disillusioned premed so professional counselling from seasoned ones are very welcome but I personally think I would go for the best I can get.

What will I be when I grow up?

2007-01-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tough One! Even some fourth year med students have no answer to this, talk more of an ignorant wannabe like me, but hey! you gotta have a plan right? I can sooo see myself reading this post five years from now and laughing at my naivete...but again, they say Ignorance is Bliss.

So we all know that Abbey wants to be a doc, heck! she sings it into your ears with every post(can she find something else to talk about already!!). And we all also know that a certain school somewhere in the Midwest granted her a seat in their class despite the fact that she turned into a big fat cry baby at their interview, apparently it's really OK to be yourself at these things. But it's not OK to be just a doctor, you have to specialize in something, anything or everything, there is even a residency in Jackofalltradology! Thankfully I have something in mind, and that something tends to change every week. I'll take you through the list of most of my different fantasies...

NEUROSURGERY :
Ahhhh if wishes were horses! I think what attracts me the most to this speciality is how complicated it is and the fact that there are only few neurosurgeons out there(relatively). In fact, I am yet to meet one. I'm sure the first time I do, I'll pretty much freeze for a few minutes and quickly proceed to drool all over myself. If it also happens to be a woman...dang! it will be over. And I'm not exagerrating at all here. The other day I was on the bus and as we passed the hospital, I saw a female doc in her white coat and everything strapping her two kids into their car seats. A pure Kodak moment, but I didn't have a camera so my eyes did the Kodaking. Thank GOD the light was red, I just plastered my face to the bus' mirror and stared at her. My first impulse was to run up front and ask the driver to let me off so I could go interrogate her. Like really, what specialty did you do that grants you the luxury to leave work this early and have some time to spend with your kids and such? After deeper thought though, I realized I had no clue how long she had been at work, and how often it was she got off this early, oh and how excited she would be about some random girl walking up to her and asking her questions about her work schedule!

But yeah back to Neurosurgery...I do feel it would be really interesting though. The brain, mind-body connection and the Nervous System are pretty intriguing to me and it will be a complete trip to be able to tweek it up here and there for a living! But this is probably going to be a no-no. Assuming I get good enough board scores to become one, I don't want to earn a million dollars a year, buy a 10 room mansion and an 80k limited edition AUDI just to drive the ride home once a week and never have enough energy to make it up to my $10k king size bed for a good night's rest. And just when I finally make it to the top of my marble flight of stairs, right past the original "Mona Lisa" hanging opposite my mahogany bedroom door...the darn pager goes off [insert expletives here].

NEUROLOGY:
A step down, a little less intense. Actually the choice of this week."Living" example, Omar Epps' character in House, MD. An even more living example? The one I got to shadow at the ER yesterday. It's amazing how much more you get to see when you introduce yourself as

"Hi, My name is Abbey, and I would be starting med school in the fall..."

as opposed to

"Hi, my name is Abbey and I'm a premed. Would you be needing my boot licking services over the next 3 or so hours? No? I sanitize my spit before spit-shinning...See..."

As in, the resident actually sent me to rooms myself to "interview" patients. I had to make sure I heard her correctly.

Me: "Do you mean you want me to go into the patients room without a chaperon and ask my own questions??"

Resident: "Yeah Sure"

Me: "Oh...ok"

I walked by the patient's room about three times.

"Oh shoot, I can't do it!"

If I was just supposed to ask them if they wanted some cranberry juice I would have only walked by the rooms twice to size them up before going in(lol) but this was completely different. I went back to the Resident.

Me: "Umm sorry to bug you again but I'm not exactly a pro at this...what exactly am I supposed to say?"

Resident: Laughing "Oh just ask about their history and such"

Me: "Oh ok"

(I walked by the room twice again before finally going in)

Of course they still go back and interview them too but whatever at least I had a chance!

I feel Neurology would be interesting cus you get to learn probably as much as a Neurosurgeon knows, minus surgery and such, the hours are a bit more decent, no million dollars here but at least you can squeeze in a few more trips to a fancy restaurant every now and then, no? There's also this weird interest I've been developing for neurotoxins. As in I just don't want to know that substance xxx is a poison, I want to know exactly what it does and how it does it...don't ask me why.

ANESTHESIOLOGY:
One of the so-called pathways to happiness. Because you practice your medicine, make your money and still have a life. I was strongly advised by one of the Attendings at the ER to either go into surgery, dermatology, radiology or anesthesiology (Notice the casual mention of talking to the attending, lol, I'm playing it waaaay down. This was the first time one of them in as much as held a conversation with me and it was because we both found out he attended my undergrad institution...the probability of this, is usually slim to none!). The little issue I have with Anesthesiology is that I'm not sure if this field is as exciting as I might like. It seems you just put people to sleep, keep them asleep for as long as possible and then hope you can wake them up again. Then there's also the problem of addiction in this field. Apparently many anesthesiologists end up getting hooked on their own sleep medicine(Physician, heal thy self??). But a certain someone I know who is currently interviewing for residencies in this field(and who has not picked up his phone to allow me interview him...ahem) promises me that it is intellectually challenging and stimulating. I'm hanging on to that promise for now. Anesthesiology is also very much connected to Neurology so it gets mad points for that.

Oh by the way, do you guys know the anesthesiologist chic on Nip/Tuck? The one that operates Christian and Shawn's oh-so-high-tech CD player during surgeries, that also got one of her kidneys stolen last season? Well until recently, I always thought she was one of the nurses. Huh. (Scratching head).

PATHOLOGY:
This appeals to my love for research the most...get to look at diseased cells live under the microscope, understand disease pathways and maybe even find a cure to something or the other. The litte qualms I have here is that I will probably spend most of my waking hours at a lab in some hospital's basement. I'm also not sure how much of a market there is for this back in Nigeria, it seems we just wait for the western world to make the discoveries and then we buy whatever drugs that comes out of the research. I don't blame us though, we are too busy trying to feed ourselves to get into such luxuries as saving the world.

WILD CARD:
Here I'll lump in all the other possible specialties out there(minus the ones I will list in the upcoming section), you gotta keep your options open. Along with that, I could get my med degree, do a residency in Jackofalltradology and work for one of the pharma companies doing clinical trials for their drugs or actually working in management, consulting or something of that nature. And maybe teach in between all this. Ahhh the choices!

DEFINITE NO-NOs!!:
ORTHOPEDICS: Can't watch people do anything to bones. I also can't get over using a drill, hammer or any other power tool on a fellow human being. I've tried to psyche myself out of it, forced myself to watch plastic surgeons do rhinoplasties on tv, tried to desensitize myself to broken bones sticking out of people's flesh, etc. Nothing seems to work so I'm officially giving up on this field. But the orthopedic guys at the hospital do look mighty cool when they strut down to the ER in their different colored scrubs. Looking mighty fine and everything. I can almost hear the theme music playing in the background as they walk down the hallway huddle together in a group and mumble some hush-hush stuff then proceed to...wait for this...P.O.P some kids broken arm. All in a days work.

OPHTHALMOLOGY: Same qualms as orthopedics, but worse. O.E. I'm with you on this one.

DERMATOLOGY: Another one of the pathways to happiness. But this one has the tendency to get straight up gross. I can only imagine the different manifestations of warts that one might encounter on any given day. But yeah they are hardly on call which is a good thing. Apparently the only time the ER had to page a dermatologist in, the dude had probably never been paged before. He came bolting in wide-eyed, from home or somewhere, complete with his text book/rash 101 guide (lol). One thing that could attract me into this field would be the thrill of doing some kind of research on my own hair and coming up with the right product line for the poor thing.

App Updates

2007-01-11T09:52:00.000-05:00

So I hear back about my last interview in the middle of February (gitters). I liked the school a lot, the program etc. The interview was also unusual like I said in the last post. I got hit hard by a perfectly thrown curve ball too. I was asked if I would choose Ivy Que(where I currently work) over their institution. Ahem!! But can I just say that the more I meet the other premeds at interviews, the more I sooo wanna be a doc. As in there is just this bond we all have...knowing we're all currently going through the same hellish rigors, and that in a few months we might be officially signing up for some kind of lifetime camp...it's simply unexplainable. It's also ~~almost intimidating~~ humbling to find out how smart they all are and what different experiences led them to this point. As in just when you're beginning to think you're the shizznit, you meet the person whose achievements the word was custom made for.

I had an interesting conversation with a premed that had just returned from a West African Country where she had volunteered at a hospital. The most interesting part was how surprised she said her friends were when she showed them pictures of high rise buildings in Africa. While I was gloating at this little victory, she quickly took me off my high-horse by mentioning that on any given day in the city, she was often approached by the townsfolk asking her to help them pay for a daughter or son's school fees. I don't blame them though, I know back then too I used to think all white people were inconceivably rich. I guess we're all guilty of some genre of stereotyping

In other news, remember that school that I was so in love with, the one where I was interviewed by the Nigerian doc and all? **looong sigh* So they waitlisted me *another looong sigh*. I probably won't find out anything more till the summer so another waiting spree begins. I also heard back from another school I had interviewed at, all they said, was they will be deciding on my file in March...Trying to look on the bright side: At least I haven't been rejected yet

I'm kinda officially done with the interviews I have. I'm skipping the last one I received because I won't pick them over my acceptance, no point wasting time and good money. But I'm not exactly relegating my suit to the back of the closet just yet cus I'm hoping I get a few more interviews pretty soon. Hoping and praying.

In line with that, I called the Harvard Admissions Office some time ago and the guy I spoke to told me to not even bother with my letter cus the deadline for receiving supplemental materials was last November. Too bad, I already spent two weeks trying to charismatically beg for an interview on paper (if there is any such thing) so I might as well send it, whatever happens after that? Oh Well! Also spoke to Ivy Que about getting an interview too, it's been 3 months since they recieved my application and the worry was about to set in...actually it was already in. So I went to the admissions office last week and poured my heart out to one of the admission directors. She listened patiently and compassionately but at the end, all she said was...yup! write another letter. GREAT.

In other news, my GMAT books finally arrived from Amazon. What GMAT books huh? So I've been toying with the idea of getting an MD/MBA degree. Most schools plan it such that you take a year off med school after your third year, move to their business school, do your MBA and come back to finish last year of med school. So all in all, it takes about 5 years to get both degrees. The GMAT is valid for 5 years so I figured I might as well take it this summer and whether or not I eventually use it, at least it will be an option. Even more importantly, I won't have to add the load of studying for it during med school. I've been going back and forth with this decision for the last year or so but I figured buying the books and putting my plans up here will kinda force me to do it, hopefully. And can I just inform you that from what I've seen so far the junk is harder than I thought!! To complicate matters, as soon as I started doing the diagnostic test, the psychological effects of my multiple MCATs(which I never knew I had) kicked in. My subconscious kept asking me "How are you sure you're not going to take this exam multiple times again?" It just wouldn't shut up! I'm currently working on silencing that thought

Obviously, a sister needs a posthumous date with Sigmund Freud!

Giving of Another Sort (II)

2007-01-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

What it do?

So my friday interview was different in more ways than one. Apart from the unusual format of the interviews, for the first time, we were actually shown a live cadaver. Ok...a little oxymoronic(is that even a word?). All other interviews I'd been at involved our tour guides showing us the ominously shut doors to the anatomy lab, or taking us into the formaldehyde clad room and waving the sealed cadaver tanks in our faces closely followed by a short lecture about how for privacy reasons, the actual bodies couldn't be viewed by the public. You can imagine me and the other premeds elations when the med students/tour guides asked if we wanted to actually see the cadavers. Of course we said yes but as they unlocked the tanks, the looks on our faces gradually metamorphosized into one of confusion. I even began to ask myself if I was actually emotionally ready for it. On a few occasions, I've been known to think of myself braver than I actually am (Case in question: Watching certain movies and believing I was too "grown" to have nightmares). Hopefully this wasn't one of them.

Eventually they revealed the body to us. With all due respect, it reminded me of the cat I dissected in Undergrad Anatomy...just bigger. I was expecting well defined organs and stuff but everything was just brown and indistinguishable. No one passed out or felt woozy(at least they didn't show it). But that might also have been because the cadaver's face and hands were covered up so for a minute you might even forget it was once a living human being. I don't know what I'd have done if I saw the face of what used to be a 79 year old man staring back at me.

Anyways while in the room as I read the info sheets on the other tanks, I noticed a few things. For one thing none of the cadavers had died of natural causes and also, all of them were way over 70. I vaguely recalled Naijabloke's "lamentation" about how most people that even think about donating organs, and in this case bodies are usually older or terminally ill. From this little evidence, that idea seems accurate.

I also have to agree with Oge.E et al that said it wasn't something they were ready to deal with. I think about it once in a while too but never enough to do anything about it. I guess when you are of age and the next step in life for you is neither med school nor how to survive it but making a safe painless transition to the other side, it might be easier to voluntarily think of organ legacies.

More than ever even if I ever make the decision to donate my body parts, like Anonymous said, I am too scared that overzealous doctors waiting for organs for their patients might not do enough to save me before hauling in the commercial harvester and stripping me of my used to be life-maintainers. (PS: Anonymous, sorry to hear about your best friends mom, like the other commenters said, I what she did is the noblest form of love one can express. She would probably feel worse if she hadn't tried at all.) And yes, it is easier(emotionally and scientifically) to donate to a family member, I hear about those kind of donors more often, maybe because the media sensationalizes it and for once, with good reason.

I'll leave you with an interesting irony. Most of the med students I've talked to say that after seeing what a cadaver goes through during anatomy, even if they were planning to donate their bodies to science...they have hurriedly changed their minds!

Most schools have funeral services for their cadaver after the anatomy class, they meet with the family and thank them for the donation. That brings to mind an interesting thought...I wonder where Nigerian Med Schools get their cadavers from cus I know aint no one donating even a broken fingernail to science on that part of the globe!!

See Part I

See Comments from part I

Sorry I know this isn't exactly ideal monday morning reading...

Top 10 ToDos for 07

2007-01-03T00:56:00.000-05:00

Again Happy New Year All!!

Thank you for all the interesting comments on the last post. I was going to do a feedback now but thought I'd lighten things up a bit for the New Year and save it for next time. If you still want to leave your comments on it, please do.

So I don't have New Year Resolutions...per se. But I do have a laundry list of things that need to get done this year, by any means necessary.

In roughly chronological order...

1. Get that letter to Harvard by the end of next week

2. Save up all the money I will need for the few months after May 7th when I'm out of a job(I'm about a quarter of the way there and Christmas didn't help much either)

3. In case 2 fails, find something to do to possibly bring in some income after May 7th or start alerting possible contributors/donors of a possible resident-bum

4. Work on developing body and spirit. Ok lemme spell that out: Gain all the weight I lost last year back(yes you read right, I said GAIN), and learn to chill with the Big Guy even when things are going smoothly.

5. Try to be a little less selfish (that's probably part of 4, but I feel needs individual mention) and appreciate the people that love me

6. Get my kids ready for their exam (3 more weeks, I'm getting cold feet)

7. To follow through with transitioning my hair to natural this time, so help me GOD (3.5 months since last perm and counting)

8. Matriculate at my dream medical school with some free money in the bank and no cosigner...again, So Help me GOD

9. Finally renew that Student Visa, like...totally...really about time!

10. Go Home after six long years, eat some suya and celebrate my mum's 50th with her!

I think that covers it. I wish everyone a wonderful year and whatever you have on your list, God Speed achieving it/them. I'm off for interview #5 tomorrow. This might be THE ONE y'all! Did you just say "Aren't they all?"

Giving of Another Sort

2006-12-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Mine was nice and relaxing. My sister and I headed to New Jersey and spent Christmas with a good friend.

So I decided to give you guys a break from my whinings about the application process for a minute and ask a question that I've been trying to answer myself. A somewhat uncomfortable question.

Have you ever heard of the organization called UNOS aka the GOD committee? Everyday this committee literally has to sit down and decide who they will give life to and who will literally die from their long list. A pretty tough job especially when you realize that these deaths could probably all be avoided if only more people checked one or two conveniently located check-boxes.

I haven't checked them either and I keep asking myself why? It's right there behind my driver's license and I pretty much pretend it's not. Tons of people go to the grave daily with valuable organs that could be gifted to one person on this long list of people waiting for a kidney, a heart or sometimes an eye. Of course many people site different reasons for not donating their organs and many of them are valid. But not only are people dying from this shortage, a black market has developed around the world where organs are being traded and stolen from unsuspecting people. I know it's almost the New Year and the last thing anyone wants to think of is death but I can't help but think of the John Q's of this world who are praying for a miracle for their son also for the New Year. In this case, the harvest COULD BE plentiful but the land is not yielding its wealth so the villagers die of starvation.

Why do you think people are so reluctant to donate their organs? I guess the question is why are you and I reluctant and if you already indicated yourself as a donor, what motivated you to? Would we be more willing if there was some kind of compensation(especially for non-vital organs)? Your responses are extremely appreciated.

Pursuing My HappYness

2006-12-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

Happy Day Before Christmas Everyone.

So Fope and Ogizzle, I finally saw the movie. It was awesome but I probably would have enjoyed it more if I had not seen the 20/20 special on it the week before. So I pretty much knew how the movie will end. I badly want to say I felt the way he did after getting my first acceptance but in all honesty I didn't. I think I really felt that way when I got my job at Ivy Que.

Maybe cus its not exactly my dream school, I didn't even know anything about the school till I started the application process. OK I know I'm sounding like a bloody ingrate but I really am just being honest...I appreciate the acceptance and I'm excited about it but it doesn't have that "umphhh" factor for me. Another reason is because I have to find a cosigner for my loan. I have one choice of cosigners so far but I honestly don't want to put anyone in a situation where they have $200,000+ hanging in their credit report on accounts of me. I have a few other people to ask in case I want to spread out the loan so it's not only on one person. But my Nigerian peeps and some of you might understand my next point.

I honestly don't want someone signing the loan on my behalf and 20 years from now when I become a doctor(So help me GOD) these same people show up in my office wanting free treatment for the rest of their lives. Pretty much if I don't jump when they tell me to jump, they're going to go around town telling everyone

"You know she wouldn't have been able to pay for school if I didn't help her cosign her loan? And look at her now, she's finally a doctor and now anytime I make any request, she acts like I have dog breath"

I've talked to GOD about this and I'm waiting on Him to sort things out...again the story doesn't end till May 15th, and even after then, if I happen to be waitlisted at any school(God Forbid), I could be pulled off the waitlist anytime between May 15th and the week before Matriculation (Augustish).

So you see, I'm not exactly a bloody ingrate, it's just one of those things an International Applicant has to deal with. Our best bet is to get into one of the private schools that have private loans for which you don't need a cosigner, the other alternative is to have at least 3 years of credit history, then you won't need a cosigner. I got my first credit card in October 2005.

With all this in mind, my homework for the holidays is to write a letter to Harvard. Yes, Harvard. The worst they can say is NO! I turned in my apps since October, no news from them about an interview yet. I'm probably not exactly their top candidate but they are a private school and I'm sure they have a ton of money to share. Oh yeah and they happen to be the number one Med School in the Nation, perhaps the world(minor detail). Like I said, the worst they can really say is NO!

This part of my life is called....

Pursuing My HappYness

Merry Christmas to you all!!!

(Yes I said Christmas not Holidays, so shoot me. Even Jewish people admit that Hannukah is not their biggest celebration of the year and who celebrates Kwanzaa again? And to the Christians that say they don't celebrate Christmas because the date was chosen by the Romans to coincide with one of the Pagan Ceremonies, my only question for you is "Would you stop celebrating your birthday if you found out you were born on thesame day as, say...Hitler?" But anyways, to every man/woman his/her own...Whichever way you look at it Jesus is the Reason for the Season)

Oh and another side note, I saw them do stitches again in the ER yesterday and I didn't almost pass out. Compared to the last time, I call that progress...lot's of PROGRESS.

THE SMALL PRINT YOU "FORGOT" TO READ

2006-12-21T00:06:00.000-05:00

Have you ever signed up for a credit card, insurance policy or just some random crap someone throws at you and then one day you get sent some obscure bill or charge that you never saw coming? Poor you, if only you had busted out the magnifying glass to read them small prints. You would have realized the truth. If only. By the way, here's another one you might have missed

The very first time you found this page, the very first word you read on this page, made you a party to a non-verbal, unwritten contract stating that you would stick with ABBEY till this journey's end. So just because she has one admission does not now exclude you from said contract. The journey is now proceeding to new frontiers and you are an officially signed member till at least May 15th, 2007 the day when she will officially agree to a dedicated relationship to one and only one Medical School, forsaking all others. A WHITE COAT ceremony will be the only event that would officially signify the termination of this contract.

OK so let me put that nicely...you guys have stuck with me so far, have even been more excited than I was for my first acceptance. I mean I began to realize the gravity of the acceptance when I saw all the comments on here and when my phone was ringing off the hook like I just won the lottery. So pwitty please stick with me to the end. I can't do it without you (OK so I can, but you get the drift). There are many more stories to tell and better yet, there are about 16 more schools I'm waiting to hear from, one email can change the enitre story, so one acceptance is simply an Insurance Policy that come what may, I'm going to be a Doctor. That feels soooo good to type. What the heck, I'll type it again.

"COME WHAT MAY, I'M GOING TO BE A DOCTOR"

2006-12-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

Alright people...I'm much calmer than I thought I would be getting the news...but I'm in. The Struggle is almost over. One Acceptance in the bag. Got the news at 5am this morning, for some reason they sent the packet to my sister's address and she didn't come in from work till 5am(Computer Science Majors!!) but yeah...

I got the news and I couldn't sleep for the next hour or so. I just lay there thanking GOD and swinging in and out of some dream that I was back in the school on my interview day. Reliving the whole day, minute after minute. I was kinda expecting some kind of news this week...we were told we'll hear something between Dec 15th and 20th. I was going to blog about that but I was trying not to dwell too much on it, so here I am...whatever the case, Imma be a doc.

The one and half month of silence is over and to coat it all up, I got another interview this morning.

I probably won't get extremely excited until I see the letter, but for now, I'm just very grateful to GOD and to everyone that has encouraged me through this.

ALL'S WELL...

2006-12-16T01:58:00.000-05:00

OK this is my attempt to start a new post and pretend like I just posted one up yesterday. Work with me OK? (I've been bad...very bad, but that's OK cus I know you forgive me, no?)

My interview on Monday went well. So well that I just want to throw caution to the wind and broadcast the name of the school on here. I'm in love! I'm in love!! I want to shout it on the roof tops. But anyways, let's step away from this Broadway production for a minute and talk about interview day.

The journey was a bit long and stressful. I used every means of transportation known to man except water and "rent-a-ghost" teleports. Even after getting to the interview city, it took about 2 hours to get a cab from the train station to my host's apartment. Didn't remember that part about the city last summer. My host was also great and at least spent sometime with me, she had her own stuff to do but at least she answered my questions. The whole host thing is just hit-or-miss, cus there's really no way to know who's who from a list of names and emails. As usual I didn't get much sleep that night. I dreamt about all the worst case scenarios...missing the interview altogether, forgetting my suit back on the East Coast, getting a run in my panty-hose while trying to put them on, and many other takes from the "Oh S#!t, I'm Soooo Totally Screwed" collection. But I guess I'm getting used to that bit of the whole process now.

The interview day was packed full with numerous tours of the schools high tech facilites, etc. Then in the afternoon was the interview. One of my interviewers was actually a Nigerian Doctor so that was pretty cool. Well I didn't officially know this till towards the end of the interview...but immediately I heard him talk I had it narrowed down to Nigeria or Ghana. So I say it's pretty cool that he's a Nigerian but that does have its pros and cons. Like you can't just randomly say you used to live on a tree in the middle of a jungle back home and you had to fight through a herd of hyenas, pythons and such to get to school everyday, how many people gave up but you stayed strong, then show the interviewer a few playground scars and let them know that you got it from trying to save a complete stranger from the hyenas. Cool stuff like that. I had to scrutinize everything I said. The one time I vaguely mentioned anything about Nigeria was here:

Interviewer - So of all your jobs, which one do you think contributed most to who you've become today.

Me - Ironically, my job in the cafeteria. I learnt how to deal people(employees and customers), how to motivate people to perform in a team and most of all how to be a leader. Back home a woman is expected to be subservient and in the background...

(He looks up from his paper at this point, I'm thinking, oh snap I'm in for it, but too late you might as well finish)

...so it was very different for me to actually be in a position of considerable authority. It taught me to be assertive and confident.

Interviewer - No! No! No! I don't agree with you, the next generation of women in Nigeria are very independent and anything but subservient.

(Oh my goodness, a Nigerian Male Feminist?! He must be a mutant. What to say? What to say?!)

Me - Well you're right, the NEXT generation of women are independent. But the generation of women we saw growing up are not of this generation. Only few of our mothers and aunts were independent. And even those that were, were called all kinds of names.

(Geez why did I get myself into this conversation?)

Interviewer - (Nodding) Well yes, yes you're right about that.

At this point he moved on to the next question. (Whew!). This was the only time in our close to 1 hr conversation that he actually gave me instant feedback. For the rest of the interview, no smile, no frown nothing. I really thought I was screwing up but I kept smiling at him as I answered his questions. I felt stupid but that was the only thing I could do to prevent my worry from showing. It wasn't till the end of the interview that he went back to some of my answers and discussed them like he agreed with them. I guess he's just one of those straight business type guys. We ended up chatting for like 15 minutes after he had finished going through the list of questions he had for me. Apparently, he had gone back to one of the teaching hospitals in Lagos, and tried to hook them up with some free useful equipment but they all ended up turning him down claiming he felt he was better than them because he was based in the U.S. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth, and then counting how many teeth it had. Then I told him about the embarassing ABC 20/20 documentary on Nigerian Scammers (thanks to Miss Adaure for the link). Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he was on call all weekend and didn't get a chance to watch it. About how countries don't give visas to male Nigerians anymore because even if they come here with good motives, they tend to stray into some mischief or the other... Pretty much some banal yet painful truths about Nigeria's situation. Before we parted he told me to not stress out about the whole process, that some schools will reject me but I will be surprised at how many will give me an acceptance. Very encouraging words.

While I was back in the library waiting for my second interviewer, he passed by and told me I had left my hand bag in the interview room...lol! how could I do that?...now I look like the surgeon that would leave a dirty rag in my patient's chest...or maybe I'm just overthinking stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Interview day got done at about 4pm. I had to be at the airport by 6:30pm and it was a 45 minute train ride away. But there was also another important mission I had to accomplish. One of the other cool premeds I interviewed with gave me a ride to KYDU campus. I had to look for Dr.K.

I had "borrowed" a piece of African art from my roommate for this sole purpose and even though I was crunched for time, I really didn't want to haul the piece back home. It took me about 30 minutes to find his office. I had forgotten how complex of a matrix KYDU med school was. I stopped by at some office to ask for directions. After a lot of hand waving right and left, and a lot of clueless nods from my end, I tried to find his office again. Unfortunately, I made about 3 complete circles, tried to sneak across the office that gave me directions all three times so they didn't know I was still completely lost, I'm sure the knew I was passing though, the loud wheels of my hand luggage probably gave me away each time. I eventually asked another person for help and found his office.

He wasn't in there so I assumed he was in his lab. The time at this point is 5pm. I walk in there and ask the new guy there for Dr.K, he was around the corner. I walked around and there he was...doing his science. He was really surprised to see me which was a good thing. And all he could do was stare and ask what I was doing there. I had to wait for about ten minutes in the hallway for him to finish what he was doing. As I waited, I overheard him telling the new student in the lab that I was the student from last summer he was talking about. The poor guy probably hated me by now cus I'm sure good ole Dr.K had talked his ear out about how I was now in Ivy League Que, etc. It's a right of passage.

We eventually went into his office, he told me about how his research was going, I told him all the mushy stuff he had taught me about life, about how I used to be so angry at him, how everything was coming in handy at work presently etc. We just pretty much laughed about the whole thing. He also really liked the piece I gave him, apparently he was into art. That was good cus I really wasn't sure. Eventually it was time to go, I had to be at the station at 5:30. We walked out of his office. I felt like a guy on a date lol. Should I make the first move, give that hug. Naaaahhh...that's way too much contact, we'll just shake hands and call it a day. We said "OK" like ten times and finally I was turning around to leave when I saw his outstretched arms and it wasn't for a handshake. Ahhhh thank GOD!

I made it to the airport at 6:26pm. 4 minutes before check-in for my flight closed.

ALL'S WELL THAT REALLY ENDS WELL

Public Service Announcement

2006-12-09T14:53:00.000-05:00

So my roommate and I have been thinking about a way to help upcoming med students for a while now...even before I started this blog. So we decided to do a by email advisory service. Funny enough some of you have already subscribed to it and sent me questions by email but for the sake of everyone I figured I'd officially announce it. Between "Smart-one" and I, we know someone at every stage of med school and residency and at different schools in the US, so if you have any specific questions shoot me an email (abbeykay@gmail.com) and between the two of us and "THE NETWORK" we will probably be able to answer your questions. How should I study for the MCAT? Does school J accept international students? How can I get financial aid? How hard is Med School anyways? whatever it is, bring it on and I will post the question and answers on here for the benefit of everyone.

Also I just got this idea a few minutes ago. Won't it be nice to interview some of these people in "THE NETWORK" and put it up here? You know..."10 questions for..." Hmmm or is that just a repetition of everything I just mentioned above. I don't know...just trying to be useful. I would be flying out for my interview tomorrow. So I might not be checking this page out for a minute but if you think the interview thing is a good idea then please give me some ideas as to the questions you want me to ask. I'm thinking our first Interviewee will be "Smart-one" herself, I haven't told her yet but I'm sure she'll oblige.

Ok I'm expecting a full email box or comment section when I get back

Stability Issues

2006-12-07T00:30:00.000-05:00

The rain drops inflicted their pain one after the other trying their best to not fall behind in the onslaught and the little one struggled. With every gust of the wind, "Snall-and-not-so-mighty" wondered if the proverbial camel's back was about to be broken...but then again there was the proverbial engine...she made it up the hill right? As she labored away mile after mile, trying to keep her feet grounded, the journey seemed to feel longer. She glanced back for a minute, apparently her new Master was in a hurry too, they had just met yesterday and she was already cracking the whip like there was no tomorrow..."Small-and-not-so-Mighty" hoped that was in no way true, because tomorrow, by hook or by crook, she wanted to be returned to her Madame, scrubbed till she was presentable and displayed until another paying customer was ready to loan her for a short time, today's arrangement wasn't going very smoothly.. .

Ok I don't know what picture you're getting with that story but that was as much drama as I had during my last interview trip and I had to share it with "Small-and-not-so-Mighty" aka the Ford Focus I was forced to rent for the trip. I'm not complaining though, the less drama the better, because I was expecting this interview to be pretty rough. Like I said earlier this was one of them notoriously ethics based interviews. But GOD came through and the only near ethical thing I was asked, I had already practiced earlier. The interviewer was also a nice fatherly-type guy which made the whole process very stress-free. We talked about both our research projects (mostly his, but that's OK, I tried to ask "intelligent" questions) and were having such a great conversation that he had to throw the question in as an after thought (Describe a bioethical situation you have encountered). It seemed he just threw it in to prevent the adcomms from bashing him about not going with the interview script. Now that I think of it something a bit interesting did happen the night before.

I got to stay with one of the MSI students for the night. I had initially planned to pick her brain that evening but let's just say she wasn't exactly your average host. After I arrived in the city along with my bags and baggages and a very turgid bladder, I had to sit in the car for about thirty minutes waiting for her to arrive from some event or something that she had only remembered she had to do the night before. Even after she let me in and I had baptised her bathroom (and a little bit of myself) with trace samples of my DNA , she showed me to the couch which would become my new haven for the night, packed her bags and told me she was off to study with some friends. Along with something in the line of not liking to study alone for "Histo", no they didn't have a test tomorrow and yes, she'll be back at about 2am, etc.

"Are you for freaking real?? Then why did you agree to host me if you knew you were going to abandon me as soon as I stepped foot in your apt?"

She left me wondering why I had picked her name from all the students on the list of hosts I had been sent. The thought of pulling up the list again and calling up the one or two Nigerians on there also crossed my mind. But ehn..it was already 11pm and they had clearly stated they weren't going to be available that evening. I called a few of my buddies and expressed my dissatisfaction with the whole situation. I was going to go to bed feeling sorry for myself and all but I had to snap out of it.

Here I was with this nicely furnished, albeit tiny apartment to myself, no need to be polite to anyone, no need to pay an arm and a leg for a hotel in one of the most expensive cities in the US and I still had the audacity to complain. (Forgive your daughter Lord)! With my head now in the right place, I decided to explore my freedom. Said exploration and a growing hunger brought me to the kitchen at this point, and I was fixing myself something to eat when my curosity got the better of me. I saw this little "IKEAish" half dining table(more like "dining surface") hanging on her kitchen wall. Looked all nice and modern. I should have admired it and went along on my merry way but of course not! My bush self in all my amazement decided to pull it up and see how it looked unfolded. I'm like wow...pretty nice. Two people could eat comfortably off it from bar kind-of stools and when you were done, you just folded it back on the wall and had your free space again. It gave the apartment an even more contemporary feel. But it was while trying to fold the table back up that it suddenly decided to go on a limb and collapse on me...screws and all came tumbling off the wall.(I'm cracking up like crazy as I remember this...lol). Karma had officially come right back to bite me in the butt for the slander I had committed against my gracious host. I could just imagine her walking in at this very moment to come pick up some book she forgot or something.

"OK we have to fix this quick...ABBEY you went to an engineering school you should be able to embark on a little do-it-yourself project"

Most of all, I didn't want to be "that premed that broke down her host's apt". After three or so tries, using my 60 dollar shoes (that were already showing signs of wear and tear, ALDO my behind, it might as well have been from Walmart) as a hammer and holding up the table with my head, I got the right nail precariously in the right place, all that mattered was that the table was sitting back in its place. Whatever happened when I left tomorrow was not my problem. (GOD pls let it hold-up till then!) I wisely took the disaster as a cue to call it a night before something else came tumbling down. And although I woke up every hour of the night, afraid that some little demon will come and switch of my alarm on me, or even worse change the setting from 6 AM to 6 PM, my rest was reasonable.

Now to the trip back and the Focus issues. The East Coast was starting to get left overs of whatever it was that made it snow in TEXAS the day before and it was raining and blowing like crazy. The Focus, like its Japanese second cousin, the Toyota Echo, is one of those tall and very light weight cars. From the little physics I know (that unfourtunately didn't come through for me on my two previous MCATS), this makes for a very unstable situation. I had gotten on the road at 4pm...in the middle of developing rush hour traffic, felt like I hadn't slept in a year, gotten tired of the traffic and proceeded to take a one and half hour nap in the car in front of some random deli store. Now that it was 6pm and I was finally alert and the road was somewhat free, Mother Nature decided to take her rebelling to another level. There were times I felt "Small-and-not-so-Mighty" was simply going to be blown off into the night under the angry wind, but thank GOD it didn't cus "What Every Driver Must Know" did not include anything about maneuvering a car in mid air. I managed to get her safely back to Madame Enterprise the next day without any new scratches...and as we speak, I'm bucking up for another journey, this time to the Midwest on Monday. (This is the one where I go see if Mr.Miyagi is real, let's keep our fingers crossed) At least someone else will be doing the maneuvering on that trip!

Putting a Face to the Cliche

2006-12-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

(Updated 12/04/06)

So like I promised this post is going to be a "fun" post, fun meaning pictures and loosely career related...I will give details on my interview later(nothing exciting really happened though)

**********************************************************

If you haven't figured this out by now, I'm a strong patron of the idea that "We all have one life to live" and as much as I want to make most of my mistakes myself and learn from them, life is way too short to accomplish that. So let's thank GOD for those people whose actions (the good, the bad, and the straight up QUASIMODOish) are broadcasted across the media allowing me and you pick up a thing or two from them...and in the process bring several cliches to life.

These celebrities/tv characters don't all necessarily have the "ABBEY MAGNET", heck some of that are not even real, but they really have taught me some random thing or the other

KELLY CLARKSON: In my opinion...the best idol yet! Her songs are a significant part of my "GET HYPE" collection and even though I didn't watch idol that season(probably didn't even know it existed, it was freshman year and my fresh off the boat self could still hear the "face your books" lecture the folks gave me so I watched very little TV), but watching her performances now keeps reminding me of what I missed. I was watching the season 1 auditions a few weeks ago, at a time when I was significantly down in dumps with regards to this whole application process.

I had just found out that one of the premeds I interviewed with on the same day had already been accepted to the school we both interviewed at. I hadn't even heard a word from them, and it was now a month after the interview. It was one of my dream schools too...so I was getting worried. I was obviously not a first choice among their candidates. So they were waiting to review more applicants before me. Would they eventually pick me? Would they not? So there I was in my apartment, battling acute onset Mellonophobia when I caught the show.

It was the end of the auditions, 45 candidates were left. Simon, Paula and Randy had to cut 15 to be left with the 30 that would participate in the show. After a heated debate they agreed on 15 that they definately wanted to keep, went into the waiting room and broke the news to them. They still needed to pick 15 more from the remaining 30 "so-so" candidates and they debated for a few more hours as to who this 15 will be. They eventually reached a decision. Would you believe that Kelly was one of the 30 "so-so" candidates they had to think hard before they picked? And wasn't it this same girl that out shone everyone else when the show started and eventually won?

Is that a BREAK-AWAY or what?!

NNENNA AGBA: Our girl from the Nigerian East-side (insert chant here and throw up gang signs, lol), I wouldn't say I was the greatest fan of her look but the judges seemed to like it so I was pretty confident (like most other people) that if she didn't win the competition, she would at least be in the final four. She was good right from the beginning, took beautiful photos, won all the challenges, etc...but she still got cut considerably early in the show. At least my girl got a free trip to Thailand out of it.

The lesson here is the reason she got cut. The judges admitted she was great and probably one of the top candidates to be ANTM but she had a little problem. SHE WAS STAGNANT. She neither improved nor got worse. Just stagnant! And she got the boot. For some reason that judging session plays in my head pretty often...maybe too often. You know we human beings, we hustle for something and when we eventually get it, we have a tendency to relax. At least I do. So on the days I get to work and all I want to do is sit on my butt and become an Internet Explorer, I remember the letter I wrote to my boss literally begging for the job, I also remember Nnenna. In view of this, I ATTEMPT(key word) to dedicate at least one hour on my slow days to self improvement. I do something to make me look smarter...I try reading another boring research publication to learn some new lingo I can conveniently toss around during our next meeting, I pick someone's brain, whatever...just something to get me through another judging round...ANYTHING so I don't get NNENNARIZED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FLASHBACK

Location: Heaven

Time: March 29th, 1984 (Human time)

GOD: "I want to end 1984 with a bang...let's create something earth shattering"

Angel 1: "But, Great One, we just made your daughter ABBEY, roughly 6 months ago" *;)*

GOD: "6 and 3/4 months ago, you have to be more specific with your details...didn't we go through this last time too?"

Angel 1: (wings fall, looking sad) "My apologies Master, please don't NNENNARIZE me..."

GOD: "Cheer up, I will do no such thing, you know I always give chances"

Angel 1: (smiling)"How could I forget. You are the best...So what do you have in mind this time Lord?"

GOD: "Hmmm...a whiz kid!"

Angel 2: "Another Einstein?"

Angel 3: "Or a modern day Daniel?"

GOD: "You underestimate my creativity, think outside the box...Tomorrow(their time), LeBron will be conceived!"

Angel 3 to Angel 2: "LeBron?...Interesting choice of names"

GOD: "I heard that. Creativity guys, Creativity...let's get to work"

Angel 4: "What are his genetic specs? What would he be able to do?"

GOD: "EVERYTHING. (leaning back on His throne, smiling knowingly) ...Think Chamberlain"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LEBRON JAMES: If I say I never used to hate on this guy I will be lying. Well maybe it won't exactly be a lie. I wasn't directly hating. I was hating on behalf of all the other NBA players that had been slaving away for years to at least get a spot on ESPN's top ten plays. Then some little kid comes along, their own kids' agemate and get's a spot there almost everytime he touches the ball.
So what did I learn from him? Success is not a zero-sum game. The fact that LeBron is successful doesn't mean no other player can be successful either. So rather than waste time hating, I've learnt to appreciate the successes of others and learn a thing or two from it because their success doesn't hinder mine in any way, if anything, it makes it easier for me. So next time you begin to feel somewhat green about someone's talents, success, luck, etc...catch yourself, take a lesson or two from it, appreciate God's work and focus on building your own success. But I know there are those few "Melroses" out there that rub it in your face so much that it's beyond human ability to not feel like strangling them!

JOAN Vs TONI*: Unlike Carrie and her girls that always seem to be on such great terms, Girlfriends gives us a little more realistic girl-on-girl drama. Best friends since childhood, Joan & Toni have had a disturbing on and off relationship. Riddled with petty jealousy, leaky mouth issues and one that was just a victim of pump and circumstance. Apparently all their history and a psychiatrist were not enough to solve their many problems.

Vs

So the lesson here is probably that try as you might, some relationships(social, romantic, business, etc) are never meant to be and even when they manage to exist, are simply headed for disaster. The sooner one figures these things out the better...I have wasted a lot of my time in the past trying to fix things that were obviously broken beyond repair but now, like many other blogger buddies have mentioned recently, I'm sooo moving on.
(*indicates fictional characters)

LATRELL SPREWELL: Another story from the NBA. I just rememebered this dude a few days ago and I couldn't help but laugh at the turn of events. In case you don't know him, its not really your fault. This guy seemed to spend most of his career on one form of suspension or the other. When it was time to renew his contract in 2005, my guy was about 34 at this point and his career was obviously on the decline. His team (Minnesota Timberwolves) offered his aging behind $21 million for 3 years but his greedy self responded that ~7 million a year(~5 million is the current average) was not enough to feed his his family.
My only question is "What does this family of his eat?" cus last time I checked 7mill can feed a whole country and change! You can be sure no one even listened to him...he has not stepped his foot on the hardwood since then. I wonder how he feeds his family now that he has no J-O-B. His lesson to me?...something about looking a gift horse in the mouth comes to mind.

CARRIE AND "BIG"*: What's BIG's real name anyways? Whatever it is, the cliche here is that "If I'm meant to be a doctor, no matter how many Aidans, sexy french men, and even myself that come between, it will happen" Nuff said

GREGORY HOUSE, MD*: When I eventually become a doc(AMEN!!), I won't mind walking the wards with this "pill-a-popping-leg-a-limping" character and in the process learn a thing or two while simultaneously becoming numb to garden variety racial and sexist derisions. I get the feeling this guy cares more about the disease than the unfortunate vessel containing them. But one way or the other, Hippocratic oath aside, both him and his patients end up happy at the end of the day.
His lesson to me?...when you are the shizznit at whatever you do, you call your own shots. Ethics become guidelines and rules become mere suggestions. Well, most of the time...

MICHAEL RICHARDS: (How on earth could I forget him??) Funny enough not much to say...the glaring cliches here are
-"Keeping it real can really, REALLY go wrong " and from the good book,
- "Be angry but [please, pwitty please] do not sin"

Honorable mention:
Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock- Note to self: Buying a third pair of flip flops from the same store even though the last two broke after two weeks puts you right in the same category with these guys. And no, the convenience of the store's location/familiarity is not an excuse...hop on the bus and look for someone, I mean something, more stable(I really am talking about flip flops, no metaphors lol)! In case you don't know, the cliche here is "Doing the same thing the same way, multiple times, and expecting different results, is straight up insanity.

OK before I start airing my mild OCD tendencies in public...I'll stop here, we'll get back to hardcore medicine now that I've had a little fun.

Brain cells reporting back for duty...Over
Roger. Welcome back guys...Over and out

Did I forget anyone obvious?

This Crayfish is officially Bent

2006-11-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

(Forgot to mention earlier before I started ranting...thanksgiving was awesome and very relaxing...was asleep 70% of the time lol)

I'm back but at the same time I'm not. I don't exactly have a post planned....more like a rant. Where do I start?

I have what could be a very stressful interview coming up on Friday. From my research the school is big on ethics and healthcare issues so I kinda have to be ready to dish out ways to improve the US healthcare system in a heartbeat. I've uprooted my medical ethics book from freshman year and I've been digesting as much of this whole health care policy blah blah as possible. Can I just say the junk is complicated and boring as hell, but at thesame time mildly interesting. MILDLY. Medicare, medicaid, HMO, socialized medicine, single-payer system...the list is endless, the only thing I know is that whatever policy the US has, it makes me darn scared to fall sick because insurance companies are just trying to pay their employees and make a profit...they don't give two about me and you. Now I have to find a way to say that professionally...

I've also spent the last few weeks writing letters to the school that placed me on hold and one of the ones I interviewed at. Pretty much I've been doing some major sucking up. So major that I'm embarassed to read the letters over for fear of completely disgusting myself...but like my people say, "Na condition wey make crayfish bend", I'm bent twice over right now...

Then there are my kids taking their exams in January...we did a practice test this week and let's just say we have about 10 sessions to improve their score by at least 300...

Then there's work...

Then there's my other interview next week...

Then the deafening silence from just about all the other medical schools, can I just get a "hello"?...

I'm down under right now but gradually trying to crawl out...I say we do something fun and only loosely career related next, whenever that is...

Oh by the way...did you know that a South African, Christiaan Barnard, (yeah yeah, he's probably originally British or something but he's from South Africa) was the first doctor to perform a heart transplant, the patient only lived for about 18 days after the surgery(rejection issues) but apparently it still counts - See, I told you I've been reading.

2006-11-22T08:41:00.000-05:00

I'm off for a much needed vacation today...so I will most likely not be posting anything. HAPPY TURKEY DAY and to some of us it's just a very long weekend.

Back home, thanksgiving is also a once a year ceremony, but it entails wearing your best outfit for a very long service in church and donating most of your paycheck to one or all of the twenty offerings they collected that day. But that would be the parents problem. I only remember being very hungry and waiting for the service to end (didn't they just have an offering for the mothers? Oh this one is for the mothers with kids, who woulda thought) not being any where close to thankful. But now I know better.

I'm thankful for family, friends, the wonderful and encouraging comments you all leave, a regular paycheck, not having to make cheeseburgers to get the regular paycheck, where I am in the application process so far and finally, for a very work free weekend!

It might be hard, but I'm sure you can find something to be thankful for. I personally feel like I should have more interviews or an acceptance by now, I haven't heard anything in two long weeks, but then I know it could be worse...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

GO CONFIDENTLY IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS...

2006-11-19T10:53:00.000-05:00

Pardon the cliche title, it's not me, it's Thoureau.

I was in Harlem, NY this weekend and I couldn't help but laugh as I thought of how the US media never let this image of America get beyond the country's borders. Thesame way they never let the images of the modern African cities get into their country. No point screwing up well-established stereotypes right? So just as I wish every American will visit one of the many non-Serengetti/Safari settings in Africa and finally realize that we don't compete with a pride of lions for seats on our public buses, I also wish every African child will pay a short visit to two locations in the US. To Harlem, to convince themselves that America wasn't flowing with milk 'n' cookies like they made us believe, followed by another short visit to Toys 'r' us to grab as much of the available milk 'n' cookies their little hands could carry before the clock struck midnight and they were back in their conventional existence. If only wishes were horses....

If they were, I would have followed lil john's orders, snapped ma faingazzz, and would have had the pick of the litter when it came time to find a job after graduation. If only.

The time is Fall 2005, I had made the decision to wait a year after graduation before applying to medical school and the need to find something to do during this year was vividly apparent. I had visited our Strictly-for-Engineers career fair, just to fulfil all righteousness, sent my resume to many Monsters and Career-Builders hoping they could at least find one monstrous(in a good way) company that will choose to help me build a career. It was still early, about seven months until graduation so all I could do was wait. Which I have never really been good at. Honestly speaking though, I really didn't want the high paying corporate job. I needed to improve my med school application. I already had corporate and research experience. But could always use more research. So during this 'wait' I spoke to "Smart-one", an active member of the "SCCI", who had just started med school at this point. She suggested it would be a good idea for me to come over to her school for a year and do some research, we could live together...blah blah blah. Pretty logical suggestion in theory...but this was one of the top ten medical schools we were talking about, Ivy League and everything and I was the girl in a school no one had ever heard about who had no connections what so ever to any high caliber institution, who had done nothing significantly eye opening, who had...who hadn't....who had...the list was endless. But that also meant I had nothing to lose. I asked her to help me talk to some of her professors and find out if they were interested in taking in someone for a year or so. No problem she was on it. So again I waited.

It must have been two weeks since our conversation and no news. It began to hit me that I had just asked a first-year med student to add me to her already overflowing schedule and find time to run around and help me look for a job. Maybe not so logical. I was getting tired of sitting around anyways so I went on the web and got on her school's web page to look for successful research professors. Successful in this context meaning they had numerous and recent publications. I found a few and proceeded to put together the history of my life in form of a very long email, along with almost every award I had ever won and sent it to these professors. Only one of them replied. A lady. Told me she really enjoyed reading my letter and there was an intsy-bitsy chance she might be able to accomodate me. I will know later in the year if she can. NICE!

Well kinda. "Intsy-bitsy" wasn't exactly comforting and to make matters worse she wanted a letter of Reference from Dr.K! I had promised myself I wasn't going to go back to this guy for anything cus I wasn't even sure what he felt about me. But it seemed I had no choice. (You can imagine my surprise when she sent me an email telling me she got a beautiful letter from Dr.K...I'm thinking "REALLY"?) By early this year after numerous email and phone tags I had not heard a final word. Last time I spoke to her, she was concerned that one year would not be enough time for me to learn all the new techniques in the lab. And that my med school interviews would be a distraction. I wanted to tell her that as it stood, the chances of my application getting me any interviews were pretty slim so she would not have to worry about it. But who wants to hire a pessimist? I gave her a long spiel about how I was a fast learner and how I would plan my interviews so it did not interfere much with work. I pretty much begged this lady with everything I had in me. She still wasn't sure she was going to have room in her lab to accomodate me.

So with no confirmation, I started spreading my roots to other schools. The first email seemed to have worked once so I just changed a few words, made sure I had the names right, didn't want to send Prof.A an email calling him/her Prof. B and then sent my life history to all the coasts of the US. A few replied, many saying they didn't have enough money, no space, their lab was moving to another location, contact them later, what the heck did I think I was doing contacting them directly? etc. Only one interview came out of the whole process. But by March, 2 months before grad, still nothing. "Freaking out" does not even begin to describe my situation. At this point, most of my engineer buddies had jobs or were interviewing at numerous places. Once again, I scolded myself for not becoming an engineer or at least going to a less engineering focussed school. No point crying over spilled milk at this point, but I did anyways. I remember saying my prayers before I went to bed a few nights after this and sobbing my heart out to GOD. I was scared everyone in the SCCI was right. That I should have applied with my subpar score anyways and gone to whichever "We-barely-got-our-accreditation-to-teach-medicine" school accepted me. That I was going to have to take a job in McDonald's or a mall somewhere after 5 years in college to pay for my applications and do nothing to improve my application. I still wasn't even sure I wanted to take the MCAT a third time, I had been studying all year, just in case, but I really didn't feel like going through the torture. Things were a huge mess and I had personally architectured every bit of it.

BUT He sees all our tears and He hurts when we hurt. I can't write a better ending to this story even if I made it up.

**********************************************************

I don't remember if it was the next day after I bore my soul out to Him, or the end of the week. But I know it was spookily close. On Friday, March 24, 2006, 6:43pm, 37 days left on the countdown calendar till graduation, I was in our computer labs working on some of my last acts in college, when I received the first of the emails that would change my life forever.

Dear Abbey,

     I have finally settled the arrangements with various undergraduates
who will be working in my lab starting in the summer.  I am pleased to tell
you that we could accommodate you for the year that you would like to work
at Ivy League Que.  You would be assisting two postdoctoral level people,
who work on very different projects both involving....blah blah.
I apologize that it has taken so long for me to work things out.  My
finances were unclear because of recent problems in our business office,
and - as I mentioned before - I had to wait for people already in the lab
to make decisions about what they would be doing.
Please let me know what you would like to do.  As I recall, you said
you would like to start sometime in May, which would be fine with us.
Sincerely, Pof. Cee

It was from the lady I had contacted at "Smart-one's" school. I didn't know what to do when I finished reading the email. Am I supposed to scream, laugh, cry...what? I just stared at the words reading them over and over again...picked up the phone and called the "Speaker of the House" to share the news. It was official. I wasn't going to culminate my college career as a member of the Ron McDonald team.

When it rains though, it usually pours.

Two weeks before graduation, early in the morning while getting ready to go to class, I got a call from a weird number. It was from a biotech company offering me a summer internship writing user manuals and experimental reports for them. It was going to pay about 150% more than my research job and it was something I had never done before. Apparently I had submitted my resume to them at our career fair in February, couldn't even remember. I shook my head as I listened to the guy. Where were they when I was almost pulling my hair out last month? It was a great offer but then what would happen after the summer? And how well will this position help my med school application? After a few days of consideration, I took the research job and politely declined their offer. I started work this June on my birthday :)

By the way, would you believe that the research job I got was with Ivy League Que? Remember that was the same school Dr.K asked about when I told him my second MCAT score? I am going to be around the KYDU area for an Interview in December and I plan to stop by his office and finally give him that big hug I always wanted to give last year(then deal with the awkwardness the hug will create later). I won't be surprised if I go up to his office and find out he never even existed, it would support my growing theory that this guy was some kind of angel GOD sent to prepare me for the rest of my life!

But for now I'm the little African kid in the Toys 'r' us watching the clock fervently and hoping I have enough time to not only grab as many "My Little Ponys"(or what is it the kids play with nowadays?) as I can but also soak up as much of the whole experience as possible before the clock strikes May '07 and I'm off to God only Knows.

This was a long and hopefully not too boring post. I had a hard time making it funny cus all the emotions are still pretty fresh. I know what I've been through is nothing compared to some other stories out there and I would love to hear any interesting/inspiring career related stories you have. So please share!

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, and live the life you have imagined" - Henry David Thoureau

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (Follow Up)

2006-11-14T11:15:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for the interesting comments, I had fun reading them...Like gramps said, (it feels funny quoting all these weird names, lol) everything one does there is a risk and I really understand that. My first thought when I tried to answer the question though was that my life was more important to me than any patient's life. I aint JESUS so I have no obligation to die/risk my life for someone. Even if I did, what would happen afterwards? If I made any significant contribution to the medical world, all I'll get is some foundation or some room in a hospital named after me...but the point is I will still be dead and nothing will change that!

Thinking deeper about it though, a friend who went to a country in West Africa to do some AIDS research told me that if anyone with HIV needed to get any kind of surgery, he/she was rejected by the Federal Govt Hospitals which were the only ones that even had the facilities to perform any sort of surgery. This sort of puts things into perspective as per how one would feel if you were just condemned to die regardless as to how much any doctor can do to prolong your life. We won't even get to how blatantly discriminating this policy is. Also, like ogizzle and medstudent implied, it seems the whole medical training process sort of molds you to put your patients first and think about even your own safety last, kinda like a fire fighter that runs into the burning building when everyone is running out-not very logical to the common man but makes complete sense to them.

Here are some links I found on the topic:

Scalpel Free Surgeries?

Maybe Doctor's Actually don't have a choice in the issue

On the topic of worst medical experiences, mine will have to be this summer when I got sick and got really paranoid, thanks to google, as to what I might have. My then uninsured behind after consulting with all the medical students and quack doctors I knew decided to go to the occupational health center of the hospital I volunteer at to confirm my differential diagnosis of measles. Immediately I even let the physician assistant know that I thought it was the case of the "M" Word she yelled at me like I had just stepped on her toes with 4-inch stilettos! She even went ahead to let me know that if I was as paraniod as I was, I had no place working in a hospital! Geez can you allow a sister express her fears to a health care professional!! I know its free but...To make matters worse, we weren't even in private, we were just off in some corner of the waiting room when all this happened so like ten people witnessed my gross embarassment! Worst hospital experience till date, bar none.

Anyways, the whole post was inspired by some reading I had been doing trying to catch up on some of the hot topics in medical ethics for my interviews. I stumbled on so many more that I would ask your opinions on in the near future since I have such an enlightened readership.

.......................................................................................................................

In ER news, can I just say I finally found out what it felt like to want to pass out, puke and attend to acute onset diarrhea all at once!

This little girl came in with her mum with a pretty deep cut on her leg. After the endless waiting characteristic of the average ER visit, it was finally time to get her stiched up. The Resident I was shadowing (a very hot one by the way) called me to tag along with him. It was just going to be stitches, nothing very ERish or GREYish but we all start somewhere don't we? Only last week, I missed the chance to see a tonsil abscess (pus in the tonsil) get drained, but apparently GOD knew what he was doing. (PS all I do each weekend is prostitute myself infront of the patient white board where all the doctor's hang out and wait till the highest bidder calls me in...it's called Volunteering lol, cus I don't take cash. I get paid in a different currency-Surgical Procedures). Anyways back to the main story...

So I follow "Resident Hottie" to the patient's room, the wound gets numbed up using saline solution(i think?), no noise from the little girl, wow she's strong. At this point her mom says she can't watch anymore. I'm thinking whatever it can't be that bad, I have seen worse. I had watched my hand being sewed up when I was only about 11 , I had dissected a dead cat for a whole year in undergrad anatomy without flinching, and I sewed up a frog or two last summer after robbing her of her eggs. I was ready to take over the world. At this point "Resident Hottie" pulls out the needle *Insert action music here and play in slow motion* and gives the wound the first stab.

*Dang, he's poking the wound with a needle, nah think of it as broken skin and wow! she's not even moving...did I mention anesthesia was God's gift to medicine already? the darn thing works like a charm, no wonder those anaesthesiologists get hooked on their own stuff...*

At this point everything is going well, he puts in about 5 stitches then proceeds to take out the first and try to redo it. Apparently it was too loose. He tries to take the needle via thesame route as before and this is where the blood and all kinds of juices start flowing out of the wound. He tries once, and then twice...I just feel like yelling at him right now to get it over and done with! The blood was draining from my brain now and flowing in the general direction of my legs, but we were almost done, it would be over soon.

*Ahhh finally the stitches are in...wait what is he doing again...?*

He then decides to flip all the stictches across so that all the knots are on one side of the wound. Docs or med students out there, is there any medical basis for this or is this strictly for aesthetic value? This he just did by grabbing each knot and pulling it across to the other side, each time pulling up the wound (I mean, broken skin) along with it.. More juices are flowing out of the wound at this point. Could this really be over already!

*Hmm is it just me or is the room spinning*

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, the end point of this titration had long been reached, every extra minute I stayed in there was just adding excess acid to the solution.

I try to reach and hold on to something, nothing in sight.

*Must hold up and be strong, Its just broken skin...broken skin...broken skin...must show them I'm ready for medical school, must, must, must...*

At this point I'm puking in my throat, my head is feeling very light, and certain unknown fluids are threatening to burst out of my front and rear body openings. The room was still spinning. I was sweating like a goat. I found the door handle, tried to look strong as I walked out of the room. Still wasn't any better. For the first time in my entire life, I felt a pressing need to pass out and wake up when everything was over. The whole ER was spinning at this point as I tried to put one foot infront of the other and look for the closest empty bed. I found one in the hallway. I tried to sit down upright for a second but eventually just crashed unto the bed. It took me about 15 mins to get back to a fraction of my normal self. Resident Hottie had passed by once (or was it twice?) at this point and didn't even ask me why I left the room prematurely, I tried to explain the first time but words failed me. Eventually I regained proper use of my locomotory and verbal skills and went back to the patient white board area. Found "Resident Hottie" and proceeded to explain what happened and how I needed to take a quick break and eat some dinner..

"Sure no problem, don't worry it happens to all of us, you should be better after dinner"

I thanked him and as I left, I imagined him telling the other docs about how I had almost passed out over just a few stitches, and them having a good laugh about it. That's OK though, they could use good laugh every now and then. I still can't imagine if I had been in the room when they were draining the tonsil abscess, immediately I saw the pus coming out of the patient's mouth I would probably have been gone. Apparently one has to be gradually eased into these things.

As I walked out the ER to get my dinner, I remembered what I had gotten from the cafeteria earlier, it was pasta and RED tomato sauce plus a quarter piece of chicken, white meat....chicken...wasn't that what Cristina got Burke to practice his stitches on?
I could feel the nausea returning at this point...it was going to be a very interesting meal.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

2006-11-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

You are a surgeon, a trauma patient is brought in by ambulance and you are paged to the ER. An invasive surgery is needed to save the patient's life. For this surgery, like all others, there is a chance that you might be cut by your scalpel or pricked by a needle. All they know about your patient is that he is a gay, heroin addict. High risk to be HIV positive, no time to test...you must start surgery immediately...you remember the Hippocratic Oath you took..."First do no harm" but in this case do no harm to who? Yourself or the patient?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
-Not operate?
-Operate?
-Why or why not?

************************************************************
What was the worst experience you've had at the doctor's? What were your expectations and what do you wish could be adjusted at your location's health care system? Health Insurance, etc. Please let me know the country you are posting from to put it in perspective.

************************************************************

I won't be posting for a week or so cus I want everyone to contribute...I mean everyone...Bijoux, Bella Naija, Naija Bloke, Aunty, Overwhelmed, Biodun, Camel Milk, Arturo, Anonymous, First timers....EVERYONE. If you have to think about it for a few days then come back, do so but your input is valued greatly, can't wait to hear your comments...

Forgot to add earlier...got another interview on Monday night...in Boston. So, so far:
6-interview invites
2-rejections
10-no news
When next you talk to GOD...say a little thank-you for me!! And thank-you for all the comforting comments and emails!

The Week from Hell

2006-11-05T09:27:00.000-05:00

(Details have been slightly modified and technicalities reduced significantly)

Interviewer: So are you still at school XXX? Your recommender only stated here that you were going to be there for 2 months

*Dang can we at least sit down before you start drilling me?*

Me: Yes I am, I think she meant I had only been there 2 months before she wrote the recommendation...probably a miscommunication, because I'm going to be there till next year

Interviewer: So tell me about your research at school XXX?

*Nice, familiar turf*

Me: Well I work on these special RNAs that modify other RNAs in a certain part of the cell. Trying to figure out the exact sequence for transporting them to the locations where the function by....

Interviewer: Exactly what kind of modifications do they carry out....

*Oh $#*!, I don't remember!!! maybe this turf isn't that familiar...oh well you gotta say something...*

Me: They modify the 3' end to ensure stability of the RNAs

*Don't ask anything else on this....please....*

Interviewer: So what is the point of this research anyways...?

*Dang he's questioning the source of my daily bread and my boss' entire life. Hmmm...Dr.K said all doctors need to hear is the name of a disease, what was the name of that disease again....*

Me: Disease ZZZ results from improper localization of the RNAs to their cell location so proper characterization of the localization pathway will....

*Geeez he's writing that down....or was it Disease XXX, if he verifies it I'm toast*

Interviewer: So is this disease at the mRNA level or the protein level?

*Dang this is not my PhD thesis, I'm just the assistant chef, I don't know all these details...but it's usually at the protein level so we'll go with that, throw in some technical terms while you're at it...always works*

Me: At the protein level. My RNA requires certain protein factors like dyskerin to bind to it before it can modify the other mRNAs. Without these modifications, the wrong proteins will be translated due to exonuclease activity...

*Oh $#*t, he's writing it down too....I'm SO done...anyways I still have school YYY to interview at right? hmm and maybe I shouldn't cancel that interview with that "We-want-you-to-pay-4years-in-advance school, I can probably cough up $200,000 if I really had to right?....*

Interviewer: So have you made any significant discoveries so far?

Welcome to the first five minutes of the interview I had last week. I don't think I have ever cursed that much in such a short period of time. In my defense, I had no idea I was going to be asked such specific questions about my research if not I would have read up more on it. Even at my first interview, all they wanted to know was general information about it but at this one, after I read my interviewers resume I realised I was going to be drilled. By then it was too late to even try to prepare myself. The guy had like 40 papers over the last few years and 10 more waiting to be published. The rest of the interview went better though...apart from me not being able to read any feedback from his face...he was even yawning during the interview...Thankfully the afternoon interview went extremely well and I felt good about my chances of getting in again...

Whatever happens though, it was a good experience, for 10 bucks extra I rented this really sweet black mazda6 and gunned those cylinders all the way up for the interview and back. And now I also know what kind of questions I will be asked on my research at other interviews, especially for my next one which is really research oriented. The only downside of the whole thing was how sick-ish and sleepy I felt for the next 24 hours. I had ingested way too much caffeine during the trip and had too little sleep.

I got back home at about midnight on my interview day and decided to check my email before I crashed. Laying there was an email from one of my top choice schools...they had put me on hold before interview. What the heck was that supposed to mean? I had heard of being waitlisted after an interview but not on hold before the interview itself. After some research, I realized it was a classic case of "Show-us-how-badly-you-want-this". Apparently the three essays I wrote didn't quite capture this. Now I need to write another one letting them know that life, as I know it, will come to a screeching halt if I don't get interviewed by them. A beggar has no choice, until I get my first acceptance at a school I really want to attend, then I have to jump every time I'm told to. Apparently though, there was worse news to come.

On Wednesday, 7:00 pm a few hours short of 24 hrs since I got the "hold", I got another rejection in my email. To make matters worse, they sent me on a scavenger hunt to find the rejection letter. The email read:

"Your application status has been updated on our page, please log in to your account to read the details of the update"

I mean....how wicked is that? They let your heart beat insanely for like two minutes and at thesame time you still have to scan through the 20 or so different userid and passwds in your head for the right one to access your account with. After I eventually logged on, the message was not even there...I had to comb through the numerous links and click the right one again. And then there it was.

Dear ABBEY,
At this point we will not be able to process your application further. Your account with us will be disabled and you will be wiped off from our memories for life. In case you didn't understand the last sentence, it means...YOU DON'T EXIST TO US ANYMORE.

But no...this doesn't mean you don't have what it takes to be a doctor, no such thing! It just means you don't have what it takes to be a doctor at our very prestigious institution. So don't kill yourself, everything will be OK.

Love,
Admissions Committee

OK so I got rejected...painful but I don't expect to be accepted at every school I apply to. The only thing that made this rejection different was that unlike VANDY where I had not even filled out a secondary, for this one, I had done so and written two painful essays on very random, open-ended questions for that matter. The worst blow of all was the school the rejection was from. KYDU people, K-freaking-Y-D-U!!! Apparently, all the research I did with them had come to naught. I had been dealt a triple hit combo in the space of 24 hours.

All this happened while I was on the phone with one of the members of my Senate Committee on Career Issues but she was discussing some of her own career issues at this point so I didn't feel the need to burden her with the developing story. So I couldn't even verbalize any of the things going through my head at this point. Immediately I got done with her, I called one of the other members of the committee and let it all out. No I didn't cry, didn't even come close...but it was awesomely painful. I went to bed that night just praying to GOD for one piece of good news...just one...but it was Thursday though, the week was almost over.

Thursday night...fell asleep on the lazy boy until my roommate got back and decided to tickle me out of my sleep. I would ordinarily be monumentally upset for someone waking me up from my beautiful-much-needed-albeit-quite-uncomfortable sleep but after a failed attempt at retailiation, I did the only logical thing I could think of-checked my email.

At 11:52pm, 11/02/06... 24 hours after begging GOD to give me something to sing about this week, I got an email from another top 20 school inviting me to interview with them!!

Someone might be thinking that OK, these are just interviews not acceptances so why the hullaballo...well here are some figures from one of these schools

Number of Applicants: 4000
Number of Applicants Interviewed:627
Number of Students Accepted: 260

So there is higher than a 1 in 3 chance of getting in at most places you interview! And if you interview at 5 or more schools(unverified stats)...chances are you are definitely getting in somewhere.

By the way the "We-want-you-to-pay-4years-in-advance school was Saint Louis University and I eventually cancelled my interview and withdrew my application. There was really no point. They didn't even offer any loans or financial aid to international students. (These few sentences do not capture the depth of thought and fidgeting that went into making this decision) If these were corporate or PhD interviews where everything was paid for, I would have gladly gone to see St.Louis and gain the interview experience but it wasn't worth the stress and money. To make matters worse, about a week ago, msn listed St.Louis as the most dangerous city in the US. And here I was thinking ABBEYVILLE held that title!

The week from Hell was now officially from Heaven.

2006-11-02T00:40:00.002-05:00

And no I did not forget I have a blog which "millions" of you log on to daily to see if I have generated enough creativity to put up something new.

The good news is there's quite a bit to tell, I've been dealt with all kind of blows this week and I'm sure you're just dying to know where they landed.

The bad news is I'm so busy digesting the developments that I haven't generated enough creativity to make the story worth your while...I'm working on it...just a few more hours of sleep away...

Hang in There

UPDATES

2006-10-29T10:20:00.001-05:00

By popular demand(who am I kidding, actually one demand), I will be providing some updates on the many facets of my life...

TUTORING:
I finally heard back from my GRE student last week. He brought his GRE math score about 250 points higher than his first practice tests. Which is awesome, but he strongly believes he could have done better if only the test center hadn't scheduled the exam next to a multipurpose hall where freshmen were having orientation. He was pretty upset about that one!

Tutoring my two kids for the SAT II Biology hasn't been as easy as the GRE though. I faced some slight problems at the start. Biology is very different from Math in that for the latter no significant preparation is really needed before a session. In essence it could be 'free styled'. Bio is a bit different. Yes I know the basics about Gene Transcription and Translation but all the ten enzymes involved and their specific functions don't exactly stick in my permanent memory. The other problem was that I did not have an SAT II text book of my own, and wasn't planning to invest in one either, so I couldn't exactly study before our session and this led to me spending a lot of time during the session flipping through pages and looking rather incompetent. It was before our third session that I finally figured how to save my reputation.

I started giving them tests on last week's work before the start of each session. That usually took about 15 mins...just enough time for me to use their text books to prepare myself for the session. SPLENDID!

We've been moving at a rate of about one chapter a month (the chapters are really long and they weren't taking the exam till March anyways) but this week they delivered an early Halloween Scare.

Student: "We registered for the exam a few days ago...

Me: "Ok...good"

Student: "We decided to take it in January instead of March"

Holy Crap!!...and you didn't feel it necessary to consult with me before doing such a thing. I'm not that important anyways right? Just the person that will be crucified if you don't do well on the test!

Me: "Oh really? So is this like late January or early"

Student: "Umm I think pretty early January"

Are you seriously kidding me!

Me: "So do you want us to meet more than once a week now?"

Student: "No...once a week is fine"

At this point I was too pissed off to respond. Wasn't sure I could address the issue with any kind of professional discourse at this point. I for sure didn't want them going home and asking their mom if "FREAKitus SHYTus" was latin for "semi-permeable membrane". So I took a deep breath.

Me: "Ok so....let's talk about OSMOSIS..."

With this slightly new development in mind, I spent most of Friday Night at Barnes and Noble's sipping on a very watered down hot chocolate from Starbucks(they need to take lessons from Dunkin Donuts) while furiously scheming through their array of SAT II Biology Text books to make sure I was covering everything the kids needed to know. Also picked random questions from the various books' sample tests for their in class test next week. I'll be damned if they fail the test on my watch...but then again 1 and a half months to prepare?....dang! I feel the need to raise my fees for a breach of contract...

ER AND HOSPICE:
In other news, I finally acquired the guts to go up to the docs at the ER and ask to shadow them. Before now, all I did was "comfort" patients and ask them hundred times over if they wanted some ginger ale while they waited for the doc. Needless to say it was only a matter of time before they actually spelt it out to me that they didn't come to the ER for drink services but to see the doctor. Who woulda guessed!

But yeah... last week I went around with a resident and tried as much as possible not to be the stereotypical over-zealous premed. I was doing fine until the resident was interviewing a kid(3 yrs or so) that fell off her chair onto the non-carpeted floor and suddenly started feeling sleepy. The resident did the routine stuff - optical disk check (shining bright light into the kid's eyes) and observing her reflexes, etc ("squeeze my hands", "wiggle this", "wiggle that"). While doing this she asked the parents various questions..."did she black out after she fell?", "did she cry?", etc...At this point my simple mind is thinking..."why are they relating the fall to her sleepiness, it was already late at night anyways..." So I asked the only logical question in my most doctorly voice

"What is her usual bed time?" haha I sound smart

Dad: "Anywhere between 8pm and 10pm or whenever she crashes" But why wasn't the resident writing down this valuable piece of information

She fell at about 7:30 ish...that solves it, it could probably just have been around her bedtime.

We left the room.

Resident: "What I observed is the presence of a frontal contusion followed by lethargia, will order a PET scan and/or MRI. Lethargia could result from internal bleeding in the intra-cranial region..."

At this point I looked around. She was actually talking to me...wow. But what exactly does contusion mean again? And what was the difference between a PET and an MRI? I remember covering this in my Medical Terminology class but that was how far my memory went...didn't feel the need to ask, will google that when I get home.

Me: "So the lethargia could not just be due to it being around her bedtime?" for some reason, I didn't let my theory go. Began to sound more stupid each time I repeated it.

Resident: "Could be...but most likely not, gotta do all the tests to eliminate the possibility of an internal bleed"

Me: "Oh"

Apparently if that was my patient I might have sent her home with a bleeding brain. I guess you actually do learn a thing or two at Med School.

By the way...contusion = bruise(in this context)
*******************************************************************

I have not been to the hospice in a while for a multitude of reasons. It probably started when I got sick towards the end of the summer and then I started at the ER on Saturdays. I technically still had Saturday Mornings free but with having to work most Sundays, I needed a little downtime on the weekends.

The other day though, I was about to step out of my apartment complex when I suddenly saw one of my patients from the hospice passing right in front of the apartment. I froze. I think it was from the shock of seeing him among the general population.For the first time the concept of HIV not showing on a person's face literally hit home. I also didn't know what exactly I was going to say to him. "Hey what's up? What are you doing out here and where's that sign you're supposed to carry to let everyone know your condition?" I wasn't even sure he would feel comfortable talking to me on the "outside" for another multitude of reasons so I let him pass by before I stepped out. There are some situations one just has to let pass by...

INTERVIEWS
So I will be heading out to the Ivies for my next interview this week. My interview is actually on Halloween and some of my coworkers have been kind enough to suggest I wear a costume to my interview. Won't that be such a great Ice Breaker?
Anyways, the Ivy in question is less than 5 hrs away so I have decided to drive to the venue. I will proceed to burn a "I'm-gonna-take-over-the-world" type CD for the trip and hope that hypes me up well enough. Will fill you in on any interesting details when I get back...and best believe there will be no tears this time, so help me GOD!

Mr. Camel Milk...I hope this answers most of your questions, keep 'em coming and I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

(picture of my first ever carved pumpkin, look at the precision on those edges...I'm ready to be a surgeon lol.)

Four Memes

2006-10-26T02:30:00.000-04:00

Ok was tagged by Bijoux, Naija Bloke, Biodun and Belle...here goes

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
- Cafeteria worker (worked here for 4.5 long yrs...paid off though, free food and eventually worked up the "corporate" ladder to supervisor)
- Junior Hygiene Conusltant (scrubbing toilets and kitchenettes at 6am while my mates were off in Cancun for spring break)
- Chef's Assistant (did a PhD student's dirty work for a semester, alone in the lab for 3 hours...can't complain, paid very well by college standards)
- I liked being a Chef's Assistant so much, I'm currently doing it again...this time for more money though.

FOUR FICTIONAL/DREAM JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
- CEO of a certain Biotech Company- working on it...well kinda
- Stephen A Smith's job (talk a lot of crap and get away with it...but I'd probably do better writing the crap than saying it)
- NFL Quarterback - the adrenalin rush has to be crazy!
- The first 5'3" (arguably 5'4") supermodel in the world

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
- Shawshank Redemption (Amazing Story)
- Antoine Fisher (Another Amazing Story)
- Love Actually (tear jerker)
- The numerous Sanaa Lathan, Morris Chestnut, Taye Diggs etc movies (The "awww-so-sweet" collection)

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
- Lagos, Nigeria
- "Ends of the Earth", MI
- Abbeyville, US
- Small Town, MN
(Sorry...this anonymity thing is a pain)

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
- Girl Friends
- Sex & The City
- House MD
- Grey's Anatomy
The "they-also-ran" category: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Law & Order SVU, The Sopranos(there's something about Tony), Flavor Flav(there goes my rep), Nip/Tuck, ESPN's talk-crap shows...

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
- Ijebu-Ode (My home town)
- New York City
- Atlanta, GA
- ....yeah...haven't travelled much for vacation, the first time I sat in a plane was when I was coming to the US for school!

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
- msn.com
- emails (approx 200 times a day)
- blogspot.com
- my med school pages
The "they-also-ran" category: Forbes.com (amazing entrepeneur stories), my financial institutions...

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
- my rice dishes (jollof, fried, concoction, etc...I see every meal as an opportunity to eat rice)
- University of Lagos (UNILAG) Suya
- Pounded Yam & Okro soup...with every kind of meat under the sun
- Indian Food
The "they-also-ran" category: Mr.Bigg's Fried Rice and Meat Pie, Burger King Whopper...

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT/DRINK
- Members of the fungi family
- The random vegetables they put in my CHICKEN Lo-mein (when I say chicken, I mean chicken only!)
- Blood
- Humans
(But I never say never, it's all fun and games until you're stuck in the desert with nothing to eat or drink)

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
- UNILAG Suya
- Pounded Yam and Okro Soup
- one of my rice dishes
- BBQ Spare Ribs

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
- The usual - bed, dresser, etc
- Not enough shoes
- Too many hair products
- Nothing really interesting

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
- A clapper light switch (sucks to have to get up to turn off the lights)
- I guess a maid might be nice too
- More Shoes
- The right hair product!!

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
- Yellow t-shirt
- Black shorts
- Period Paraphenelia...ewww...sorry, was working from the head downwards, it was next in line
- I'm at the feet right now and I'm not wearing any shoes

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
- Nigeria
- In med school
- Back in 1997ish, on the stool in front of our TV playing "Street Fighter II Turbo" on SNES with my siblings (Shhooooow u ken)
- Back in college...already missing it.

FOUR FICTIONAL/DREAM PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
-In some operating room somewhere doing like ten surgeries at thesame time, with all the patients in some kind of trauma and me the only doctor for miles that can do anything about it...and one by one, I patch them up and save the day...all without losing a step and within 1o seconds...again all for the adrenalin.
- On TLC's What Not To Wear...wait that will mean I have no fashion sense...Ok I just want the 5Gs to go shopping
- That pretty much covers it.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
- My whole family at one table
- My closest peeps
- All the people on my ABBEY MAGNET List that I have never met before...each one discussing what makes them tick and me taking furious notes with one hand and removing the brocolli from my lo-mein with the other

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
- I really should be sleeping...
- This tag thing was harder than I thought
- How can I make those people at work miss me when I leave next year
- What to write for my last secondary essay
- Why I'm filling out another secondary
- I really need to cook something
- How to make money while I'm asleep
- How to use this new witty phrase I just came up with in a post before I forget it...

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
- Family
- Food
- Shopping
- Lazy Weekends
And last but not least from the "that's-so-cheesy" collection: MAKING SOMEONE'S DAY

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
Hasn't everyone done this already?

( I'm doing like Bijoux and not exactly sticking to the rules...peer pressure!)

Take My Word For It!

2006-10-23T18:09:00.000-04:00

Ok y'all this is completely out of the blue...but just go with the flow.

About three months or so ago, I was at our local mall trying to shop for some finishing touches to an outfit I was trying to put together for a wedding(which I crashed by the way), when one of those peeps that stay in the middle of the mall(those ones that don't have stores) called me to come and see what he was selling. Most of the time all these people show case are phone plans or crazy gadgets like head massaging spiders and stuff so I don't usually even give them the time of day. But this guy just caught my attention. All he said was

"Excuse me, let me show you something"

For some reason I decided to stop and see this time. I was on a budget so there was no way he was going to make me buy jack! All for this guy to grab my fingers and stare at them.

Him: "Hmmm, I see you like to keep your nails short"

Me: "Yes" (More like they have refused to grow and I'm tired of coating them hundred times with some Sally Hansen product or the other all for the polish to peel off two minutes later while doing dishes)

He proceeded to show me his own nails. They were white and shiny y'all with very defined cuticles and everything. All I could really say was "Wow!". At this point I'm thinking to myself "Ok so you're either very Meterosexual/Borderline Gay or just straight up Gay, and you have the time and money to go to the nail parlor every weekend but you're surely not about to make me feel bad for not being able to afford such"

Next thing I know he starts rubbing my finger nail with some sand paper type thing. I was thinking to myself...Is this even hygienic?(Sorry, microbiology got me a tad bit OCD) How many other people's fingernails had he rubbed with thesame thing today?

The sandpaper thingy was a kind of cuboid shaped buffer type thing with a black sandpapery face, a white smooth face and an ash colored face. After the sandpaper, he switches over to the white face and starts rubbing thesame nail with that too for about 30 seconds. He finishes and shows me...I'm thinking....OK....???

Then he switched to the ash colored side and started rubbing thesame fingernail again for like 30 seconds. When he was done y'all and I saw my nails my mouth dropped open. The thing was shining like there was no tomorrow. Clear and shiny. He then told me that the shine could last for up to 3 months and was not affected by dishwashing or even nail remover. He actually cleaned the nail with the remover(I smelt the stuff, it was really nail remover complete with foul smelling acetone) but nothing happened, the thing was still shiny. At this point I'm thinking "Wow...this one na real Magic from Columbia" but I still had to put my game face on. Couldn't let him know I was sold already. I asked all the necessary questions and then finally the most important one....how much is it? After much bargainning(played the broke student card) he agreed to sell me the kit for twenty bucks...not too bad...but it would be breaking my budget. I started doing some complex arithmethic in my head, extrapolating future paychecks and stuff all this while with one hand behind me feeling the nail(Dang! It felt good!).

Long story short...I bought it. A week after using it my nail started growing like crazy and beautifully too. I didn't even know how drastic the change was until a friend of mine saw it and told me it was the best my nail had ever been since they met me. I guess that's a compliment (lol!).

But on the real y'all this thing is awesome. The guy told me the buffer itself could last for 2 years....I think he just pulled a random number out of his hat on that one. I needed a replacement after about 3 months(maybe cus I used it like three times a week)...ordered on their website cus when I went to the mall the guy was gone. The replacement came today at work...as in I couldn't even wait to go home to use it, I opened up the package and was rubbing my fingers under my desk lol! One of my coworkers tried it and she was about to order some immediately but I had to convince her to go home and do her dishes and convince herself that the thing doesn't come off. It's amazing.

Alright, I know I just spent a whole post on this and bombarded you with a lot of "as ins" and "reallys" but I mean...really!....you have to try it for yourself. Guy, Girl, Lady, Woman, Man whoever try it. And no...I don't get any profits from advertising it.

Here's the link ...If you want, you can get the whole kit but I personally thought the hand lotion was a bit too strong(odor wise) for me. All you really need is the Nail Buffer and maybe the cuticle oil. I'm not sure they ship outside the states but you can check!

The Inside Story...

2006-10-21T09:58:00.000-04:00

I'm doing this one especially for my fellow premeds reading this. You all should know I won't fail to give you the blog safe details of my first med school interview(Might help any one else going on other non-medical interviews to a certain extent too). No matter how much you prepare and read previous interview questions on studentdoctor.net, remember these rules:

RULE 1 - Wear a suit:
Pretty obvious huh? So I thought too until I got to the interview venue and saw a bunch of people in jeans. I know there are many ways to dress up jeans- heels, blazer etc but really, when an interviewer has been seeing suits all day and then you show up in a pair of jeans, no matter how dressed up you think you are, you still look like that college kid that doesn't give a hoot about the interview. And if someone told you that will make you stand out more in the interviewers mind, they might be right but unless you found the cure to cancer while in kindergatten or you single handedly built a world class hospital in Sahara with only a lion's jaw bone and sand, you probably will be standing out for all the wrong reasons. Also if you actually decide to wear a suit, please put some time into finding a reasonably priced one that doesn't look like you picked it off the rack at the dollar store. Some of the suits I saw were an eyesore. I understand pockets are tight and everything but dang!

RULE 2 - Wear comfortable shoes:
Thanks to MEDSTUDENT and O.E for the good advice. I probably would have been one of the ladies at the interview in 3-4 inch stilettos trying to look cute. I also would have been the girl holding her shoes in her hands and working on my panty hose during the campus tour cus I don't care how comfortable you say they are, those shoes weren't built for walking, just for making APPEARANCES.

RULE 3 - Buy thinking time:
Another good advice I was given was not to feel I had to answer every question immediately. Especially the ethical ones. It's OK to think for a few seconds and if it has to be longer, you can make you interviewer part of your thought process to. Even if you memorized the answer to certain questions, just hesistate for a second and pretend to give it some thought. I was asked if I would attend the funeral of one of my patient's at the AIDS Hospice or if I would pray with a patient when I became a doctor. My answer was yes to both of these questions but not before pondering over the ethics and "role of doctor " specifics. When I say BUY though, I mean short periods of time. One of the guys said his interviewer popped out a stop watch with an alarm and everything when he was taking too much time to think of an answer. Awkward!

RULE 4 - Kiss Major Butt:
Who doesn't want to hear that they are the shizznit? So when they ask you why you want to attend their school, even if it's only because you think they have the hottest med students in the nation or they are the only one that gives full scholarship, go ahead and find another reason. Tough, I know! Especially if it's a school like Harvard where the real answer to the question is "Why shouldn't I want to go here?" Look for certain uniqueness in their program, in their ideals, mission statement etc and go on about that. It would also be helpful to talk to other students prior to your interview and find out what they love about the school. Don't forget to throw in the fact that they are one of your top choices from your list of 21...I mean 22 schools. Oh yeah and remember to tactfully kiss your own butt too...let them know you're like one of the best things since...immunization. Thing is, you have to figure out a way to reach behind to do the kissing without actually looking like you're doing it (VERY IMPORTANT)!

RULE 5 - Don't Worry About Getting in:
This is the hardest one to digest. If I'm paying about 500 bucks for apps and interviews at each school, it's tough not to worry about throwing your money and life away. Do you know how many "APPEARANCES" 500 bucks can buy from DSW these days....? But not worrying really calms you down. It also helps if you have other interviews lined up already. I was told to think of my interviewer as my lawyer. This is true cus they are the ones going to fight on your behalf at the Admission Committee meetings. My host student advised me not to freak out, unless of course I was going to be interviewed by the Dean himself, in which case, he's decision was final. Surprise, Surprise...he was one of my interviewers. How do I think I did? Well...let's just go on to the next rule.

RULE 6 - Keep Bodily Fluctuations in Mind:
This one probably is more for the ladies except guys have certain periods when their hormones rage too. Remember how I was telling you I was crying my eyes out over chick flicks all weekend. Well that should have been an omen of things to come. The interview was going well until right in the middle of it, I was asked questions about Nigeria, how I came to the United States and my family.

I was just in the process of describing how I finally saw my dad after 5 yrs this April and how I still hadn't seen my brother in five yrs and counting when suddenly my eyes started burning....geez not now for goodness sake. I pictured all the ANTM girls that had cried during their interviews with Tyra and the judges and how I used to tell myself I will never be caught dead doing such. By now the tears were flowing out freely. My interviewers did not know what to do for a sec...I didn't either. This was for sure not in my manuscript. They were probably trying to watch for a second to see if I was pulling some JADE-type-fake-crying-stunts but my lips and everything were quivering uncontrallably now as I was trying to hold back the tears and they figured I wasn't playing. They handed me some tissue and gave me a few minutes to compose myself and then we went on with the interview. Needless to say I was apologizing for a while about my emotional outburst. It was not until later that day that I figured out it was the hormones that were talking. Can this period come and go already! I had told many people the story about not seeing my brother in five years and never came close to tears and all of a sudden, on one of the most important days of my life everything came crashing out. In light of this...

RULE 7 - Expect the Unexpected...

Obviously, these rules will gain more credibility when I get an acceptance. By the way as of yesterday, I'm 4 and 1 so far. 4 interviews, 1 rejection.

Back in the Hizz-House!

2006-10-19T22:36:00.000-04:00

What it do people? It's sleep-deprived-can't-wait-to-land-in-my-bed ABBEY checking in with y'all. Back in town and back on the regular drill, at least trying to. I almost crashed at our weekly "SHOW-ME-WHY-YOU-SHOULD-GET-PAID-NEXT-WEEK" meeting today. Apparently started snoring off at some point during the meeting but got snapped back to reality by an all too kind coworker. Needless to say, not a good thing.

But apart from cheating sleep, the interview went great...don't they always do? It was a beautiful school and the students looked happy. In fact all the ladies I saw, first year, second year, intern, doctor etc had time to get every strand of their hair on point daily. As in COVER GIRL GOOD. Med School can't be that bad then right? Also got to see part of the cadavers being dissected for anatomy class...cool stuff! The whole medicine thing feels so much realer now..

Embedded somewhere in the 50 emails I had to scheme through today was another interview invite(will probably get more excited later) so Thank GOD for that for me.

Sorry can't post much today-low on inspiration, high on...ummmm....yeah, I'll get back to you on that one. Bijoux and Biodun...I'll get around to doing that meme sometime. And Bijoux + O.E thanks for the interview hookups...really helpful.

But Really, Is that what matters?

2006-10-17T00:04:00.000-04:00

I know this might/will offend someone somewhere but I gotta do what I gotta do, so here goes...

Over the weekend an all too familiar Jerry Springer episode unfolded in the sports world. It was another brawl reminiscent of the impromptu gladiator contest between Ron Artest and the Detroit fans. But this time the NBA was spared...it was NCAA Football. Florida International vs. U of Miami. I don't even know what/who instigated it cus the game was not aired, I just caught the highlights on ESPN and then this morning again in the very benevolent full page the NYTimes devoted to it. It was extremely embarassing for me to sit down at lunch, the only black person for "miles", and listen to my coworkers discuss these events closely followed by the childish outbursts of an irritatingly narcissitic T.O over the last few weeks. I believe my coworkers described these events from a very objective point of view but all I could see in the papers were my black brothers acting a fool on national TV...again, kinda hard to be objective on that one. Let's face it the only time the rest of the world(where WORLD = America) really sees a representation of the black race in a somewhat positive light is on Saturday, Sunday and Monday the undeclared but faithfully observed weekly football "holidays", and come October 31st, almost every day of the rest of the week. All other potrayals of our race is via mug shots of some shoplifter, or the outplayed picture of the "poor african child" on the daily "Feed the children" sermon. So you will think giving such limited opportunites to present our essence, we will take advantage of it and put a very well manicured better foot forward but noooo....

Culprit in question?...THE LARGER-THAN-LIFE MALE EGO. Gentlemen reading this, if someone hits "your boy" or looks at "your girl" the wrong way, you really don't have to go back and recruit all the boys on your block (or your football team) to whack the hallelujah out of the other guy just to show you have all your balls intact. You really don't have to prove anything you know. I mean...think of all the things that might be at stake...your life, your job, your family and then consider the fact that some girls might not even find it sexy or attractive in anyway that you decide to whoop some guy just because he stole a glance at her. I believe Oprah will even suggest such a girl pack her bags and leave cus that's just a very bad sequel to Tina vs Ike in the making. I'm beginning to see a trend which I hope will not develop into a full blown theory over the years to come.

It seems guys have a hard time multitasking. How else will one explain the fact that when a "Son of Adam" happens to spot a beautiful well endowed "Daughter of Eve", nothing else matters? All other thought process shut down. The fact that the piece of cake your new bride shoved in the general direction of your mouth at your wedding hasn't even digested yet doesn't matter. That said "Daughter of Eve" also happens to be this new bride's best friend is also altogether pointless. And oh a condom? Geez why bother, she looks so fine she has to be clean...

In the case of FIU vs U Miami, who cares that I might lose my football scholarship and eventually contribute to the statistic of black male college dropouts? Who cares that my little brother is looking up to me? Oh and that my mum finally got time off all her 3 jobs and recruited her girlfriends for a road trip to watch me play? Who freaking cares? All that matters now is letting that guy over there know that I have the unparalleled ability to take off my helmet and slap him in the face with it for reasons I have no clue on...but hey everyone else is doing it. And that's all that matters...or is it?

I appreciate that there are black men out there and all over the world trying to make a positive difference, unfortunately though, the empty vessels seem to be making the loudest noise at the moment. But again, I appreciate the struggles of every one of you, I get an idea of where it comes from but please let's work on that self control just a bit more. For the sake of those coming behind and those judged by your actions... Much love.

Randoms

2006-10-15T16:53:00.000-04:00

Nothing much has changed in ABBEYVILLE. I was expecting to hear some news from at least one more of my schools this weekend since they seem to like dispensing judgement on weekends. But no such luck, then again maybe no news is good news in this case.

I was a bit under the weather this weekend, a slight cold or something, I could not volunteer at the ER or anything so unfortunately no sources of heartbreaking news. I just stayed indoors, watched chick flicks and cried my eyes out, that time of the month must be close, it's the only explanation for how much tears I'm producing by the second.

In other news, *drumroll please* I have my first interview this week!! This would mean missing one-and-half days of work and having to play catch up when I get back so I might not be on here for quite a minute. Meanwhile, there are poll questions waiting to be answered and ummmm...old posts waiting to be reread(yeah right) so keep yourselves busy. As for me, I'm still trying to figure out good answers to why I want to be a doctor, why I chose to apply to school xxx and other rhetorical questions I might be confronted with. Wish me luck guys and keep me in your prayers...the ball is in my court now...SCARY!

By the way...I gave in and added one more school! Long story but let's just say I'm trying to avoid second guesses and certain people have been on my case for the last week or so.

Got the ABBEY MAGNET?

2006-10-11T13:50:00.000-04:00

I have no clue what to do with myself these days people. No essays to write, no deadline to beat, nothing...just work, tutoring and volunteering. That sounds more than enough right? But the thing is that I only tutor once a week now and volunteering is also only on Saturdays so the rest of the week is just...BLAH! I technically don't even need to tutor any more, thanks to a surprise 50% raise I got at the end of the summer. 50% of not much, is a little less than not much but add that to not much and it's still better than what you started with, you follow? Thank GOD for little mercies. But like I said, I need to keep busy if not I'll really begin to go crazy. I'm already checking my email every 20 seconds for any kind of news from the med schools and if I stay at home too long, I might just begin to sit by the mail box and slide tackle the poor mail man to find out what he has in the bag for me. If that doesn't spell emerging insanity, I wonder what does. OK I realize I'm just blabbing right now, but there really is a point to this post. REALLY.

In all this free time I've been blessed with lately, I've been looking back on my short life and trying to think of everyone that inspired me in some way or the other. Most of the people on the list might be familiar to many of you but others might not. I know you are probably expecting a long list of Neurosurgeons, Cardiologists and such but ironically, only a few if any make my list. Each person on this list has a certain quality I call the ABBEY MAGNET. It is something that makes me remember them in certain life situations and thinking of what they'll do in these scenarios usually comes in only second to "WWJD?". I'm hard to please so for me to actually list a name on here, the person has gone through various screening processes. So sit back, relax and maybe edumacate yourself...

(PS: I decided to go multi-media on y'all today so seriously ENJOY cus putting up these pics were a pain, maybe I'll get better at it)

THE HOLDERS OF THE "MUCH COVETED" ABBEY MAGNET:

ELLEN DEGENERES:

Isn't she something? She is more than just the gay woman in the pant suit and white sneakers tickling your funny bone at a 100 tickles/min on day time TV. What strikes me is her desire to be different. In an interview with one of them magazines(sorry I don't remember which, but I can never forget what she said), the interviewer asked her something in the line of why she never cursed or used loads of sexual innuendos when trying to be funny, you know, like the numerous other stand up comedians on TV today. Her answer? Taking that road was too easy. All you had to do these days was throw in a few four letter words and go into details about your sexual escapades and people burst out laughing. Creativity, optional. She didn't long for easy/cheap laughter. She took the high road, the path less travelled and she's bringing her audiences to tears daily with her dance steps and creative humor. And that my friends, is her ABBEY MAGNET.

DENZEL WASHINGTON: Yes the brother is fine, but so are Blair Underwood, Morris Chestnut and arguably Samuel L. Jackson. And yes he is as charitable as they come, donating money and more importantly, his time, to numerous charities world wide. But his ABBEY MAGNET is his SELECTIVITY. People have argued that Samuel L. Jackson is just as good an actor as Denzel, and the latter's greater popularity can be attributed to his killer looks. Every time I am just starting to get convinced about this fact, Samuel finds a way to screw it up. I mean...Snakes on a freaking Plane? Every movie of Denzel's has been on point, he has drawn me into whatever character he plays. I remember the first movie of his I watched, it was his potrayal of Malcolm X. I fail to disclose my age at the time I saw this movie, but I went on with my life thinking Denzel was actually Malcolm himself. Is that some good acting or me just having a very long Jessica Simpson moment? I like to think of it as the former.

MOTHER DEAREST: How many women, actually, AFRICAN women, go back to school at age 40 to get a Law Degree? This woman has given me no excuse to do any thing but follow my dreams. No matter how many of us "bundles of joy" come between.
ABBEY MAGNET: Her reputation for whooping lives into shape since 1982 and simultaneously following her passions. Nuff said?

SHONDA RHIMES: Let me use this opportunity to explain a few things. Even though many people might see my profile picture and assume I am an ardent Grey's Anatomy Fan, I really am anything but. It takes a bit more than residents sleeping with their attendings to catch my attention. I actually enjoyed the first season (watched the DVD this summer) but this season so far requires me to switch off all higher thought processes to allow myself be entertained. What other way would I be able to watch two grown men agree to vie for one woman's love and attention, on her orders? What chivalry. So am I just listing Shonda on here to bash her show? NO, I am well aware of the topic of the post. Her ABBEY MAGNET comes from her ability to REBOUND. No not that kind of rebound...hopping into that new guy's arms isn't going to cure the pain the last one caused...but let me not divert. After many trials and a few errors, movie scripts that never went into production and other tv show ideas (source: The NY Times) Shonda finally came out with a winning formula and and about 23 Million Americans say AMEN to that every Thursday night. She has got me too, maybe more out of curosity than anything and I have to give her credit for that.

PS: I found out a few years back that Gray's Anatomy, emphasis on the 'A' in grAy was actually the holy grail of human anatomy in medical school hence the name of the show.

Dr.K aka Mr.Miyagi:
You met this character a few posts ago. He taught me not to look for 'cool' bosses, but instead, the ones that supposedly can never be satisfied. Cus let's face it, no boss is really that cool, the 'cool' mask usually comes off the minute they step into that board room to "recommend" you for a promotion with the powers that be. Dr.K's ABBEY MAGNET? This one took me the longest to discover...but I eventually did. It was the importance of patience and TOUGH love on a learning child.

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD: Was introduced to this aussie by a very dedicated Ghanian Fan and gradually acquired a taste for her music. One of her songs "Unwritten" actually inspired this blog and everytime I listen to it, I feel empowered to make a difference in my future. Pardon the "clicheness" of that sentence...but there really is no other way to describe her effect on me. Here is a small part of the song:

"Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words you cannot find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitons
Feel the rain on your skin..."

You just have to listen to it to appreciate it.

MARK ZUCKERBERG: 22 year old Creator and CEO of the second most popular social networking site -Facebook.com. This cultural phenonmenom has had some of the biggest .coms saying Yahoo! at an opportunity to purchase it for a $1 billion price tag, awww...if only Mark was selling. ABBEY MAGNET? His ability to nurture an intsy-bitsy idea that started in the walls of Harvard to a 10-million-member global phenomenom and still be humble enough to interact directly with his customers from his tiny one bedroom apartment. Mark will you be my friend...please?

MIKE ADENUGA JNR: Arguably one of the richest men in Nigeria, this man has a holding in almost all of the country's major sectors-telecommunication, banking, oil, you name it.
ABBEY MAGNET: His ability to recognize a good business opportunity and take educated risks. Another person with a similar ABBEY MAGNET is Donald Trump. Watching his show, the Apprentice, is equivalent to obtaining a 1 hour MBA degree. Init?

WILLIAM "BILL" GATES: How many people will have as much money as this guy does and decide to use a good percentage of it to cure a disease that he had almost a 0% chance of acquiring. He is one of those people you know deserves every penny he has to his name, all 5.5 trillion of them.

WILLIAM "BILL" CLINTON: Slightly different from the other Bill. Less money more personality. This man is a true people person. How else would one describe a president that got two families all the way in Nigeria praying that he did not get impeached despite his gravely misguided escapades during his term? Even in the fight against AIDS in Africa, Bill Gates provides the capital but Clinton connects with the people, even little kids that never saw him before are drawn to him for some weird reason. During one of his recent trips to Zambia, he actually stopped the tour van him and Bill Gates were riding in to spend some time with the people on the sidelines cheering him on(source: The NYTimes). Now that's a people person right there not some celebrity signing autographs on the red carpet.

The moment I post this up I'm going to remember a hundred other people that I should have added to this list, but that's OK it is a dyanmic list. Some people may lose their ABBEY MAGNET as time goes on and others might acquire it. OK just remembered some people for my honorable mentions list:

KIRK FRANKLIN: For being brave enough to show that christians are real people struggling with various recurring addictions too.

A CERTAIN GUY: For instilling in my brain the concept of "Human beings make the rules, so every one of them can be changed/bent". Once I finally imbibed this concept, getting a "NO" response from a person/company/med school has come to mean nothing more than a "Show us how badly you want it".

A ND ERSON COOPER: For his self motivation. Even though everything was laid down to him on a platter of gold, Ivy League Connections, huge family name, etc he left it all behind and created a name for himself.

SYDNEY SHELDON: An amazing story teller. I love his ability to convert you into a recluse for a day or two all in an attempt to find out how his stories will end. The diversity of each of his stories is also spell binding...unlike John Grisham...an example of someone that lost his ABBEY MAGNET.

Who holds your "insert your name here" magnet?

REEEEEEEE-JECTED!!

2006-10-08T13:07:00.000-04:00

Ok so unlike last week, I got not so great news in the mail this weekend. My first official rejection is in, from Vanderbilt University(Vandy). I was expecting it though. I called the admissions office on Thursday to find out what was going on with my application. I had not heard back from them since I turned in my primary app. Spoke to this very nice lady. But I knew something was amiss when she asked for my ID # and brought up my information. All she said was:

"Hmmm, (softly and pitifully) you'll get a letter in the mail informing you about the committee's decision"

All I can say is thank GOD I already have two interviews if not, I would have probably done something financially stupid like applying to about ten more schools. But I really kinda woulda liked to get in at VANDY, their program is world class and they give good aid, but that's OK. Can't win 'em all!

In other application news, I have officially finished all my secondaries as of this Friday. I technically have one more application to fill out but I don't think I'll be completing it. The app is from University of Minnesota, nice school and all, but they are asking for a bit too much (8 essays) and to make matters worse they don't give financial aid. So why bother?

In summary I started out with 21 schools, filled out 16 secondaries, withdrew from Geroge Washington, UCLA and U of Minn, rejected from 1 and awaiting news from 1 more.

Anyways, hope you're having a great weekend...mine is so so, I've been working one day of the weekend for the last month or so but I can't complain, experiments are going GREAT! Also went shopping on Friday. I finally got that suit. A very cute one at that from MACY's for $88(yay!), a black shirt from Express $14.99, supposedly "on sale", Shoes from ALDO(ballet flats) for $60 :o, and $60 on other minor distractions which I had no business buying.

I briefly toyed with the idea of buying another suit since the first was way cheaper than I expected, but I decided otherwise for a variety of reasons. So if you happen to be interviewing at any of my schools, I'll be the black girl in the ash skirt suit and black shirt, or white if the black gets dirty. I'll also be the one inspecting and cleaning every seat with windex before sitting on it, can't afford to seat on someone's gum or donut crumbs with my one in town suit.

Till we meet again, I'm off to my in house "Rejection Therapy"...

*Assumes complicated yoga position*

hummmmmmmmmmmm
VANDY, you are not the boss of me... (x3)
VANDY, if you don't want me, someone else will... (x3)
VANDY, I gave you my all but it wasn't good enough for you...
VANDY, you tried to kill my spirit, you tried to kill my hope
VANDY, you tried, but I'M STILL STANDING, STILL STANDING...
VANDY, see you at the top
hummmmmmmmmmmm

(But if you change your mind, you gats my number, HOLLA, I just might reconsider, some relationships are worth a second chance, no?)

hummmmmmmmmm

Decisions

2006-10-06T16:33:00.000-04:00

The very moment I got those MCAT scores back, my body went into crisis mode. Unlike the first time when I had a genuine excuse for not doing well, there was none this time. I had studied my butt off every night that semester. I might as well have been paying my rent to the library too cus I was there more often than I was at home. I went into the exam really confident that I was going to land well in the mid 30s this time. So you can imagine my shock when I did only 3 points better than my first trial. I began to question myself.

Why had I left Nigeria in the first place? Back home I had passed what I consider one of the most difficult and controversial exam in the country - JAMB. I got somewhere in the higher 200's out of 400. That might seem low to a lot of people but my Naija peeps know that is considered a very high score especially if you were not opportuned to take advantage of the numerous and convenient exam question "leaks". I had gotten into University of Lagos, doing Medicine. Again without a need for the famous connections you almost had to have to get in for the major you wanted. So when I saw those MCAT scores, I felt like I had personally altered my career destiny by leaving Nigeria on that August day in 2001. I began to wonder if I was ever going to make it to med school in the US, being an International Student and all. Even if I got in, was I going to get any Financial Aid? I could not think of an American Citizen offhand that would be willing to cosign a loan of $200,000 for me. Heck, I don't think I had the guts to even ask anyone to do such.

Every international student I knew that got into any medical school had gotten a 30 and above, at least that's what they told me. I was so close, yet so far. A Nigerian brother at KYDU advised me to see their Minority Recruitment guy, Joe and talk about my chances. The meeting was very depressing to say the least. He pretty much reiterated everything I was thinking. He told me KYDU might accept me but my chances of any scholarship were slim to none because I did not make the 30 cutoff. Ol' boy even had the guts to question the quality of my school's science program, claiming it might be responsible for my sub par performance. He wondered how I could get a B or better in all my science classes and still not do great on the MCAT. I countered his statement in the most polite way possible, YES, my school was not ranked among the top 50 undergrad institutions, hell, not even the top 100 and NO, our science program did not need any revamping, thank you very much. I tried my best not to get rude cus for all I knew, he might be on the committee reviewing my application, whenever I decided to turn that in. It's funny how you complain about your school when you're in there but the minute an outsider says one bad thing about it, you get all voltron on their behind.

Anyways, from the way things were looking, I was going to have to make some tough decisions. I had not yet volunteered in any clinic whatsoever so there was a big hole in my application. I had three options:

Option 1:
Apply with my mediocre resume and hope and pray that I get accepted somewhere and at thesame time run the risk of throwing $6000 down the gutter if I did not get in anywhere. There was also the small issue of where I was going to get the money from...at that point all my three jobs in school paid me a total of about $4000 a year, I also had no credit card to my name so the option of getting Uncle Sam to pay for it now, and proceeding to pay him back for the rest of my life was out of the question. My sister was also still in school at this point and she had her own problems to worry about so again no show on that side. Well there was always my parents, I could ask them for the money too...but naaaah, gotta start dealing with my problems myself.

At this point someone might ask where my faith was, I could apply to a few schools and look unto GOD to sway their hearts to accept me. But I'm a big fan of keeping things as real as logically possible. Like my pastor in church back home always said to us students "Study like there was no GOD, and pray like that was the only thing that determined your success". So in this case I had not done everything in my power and I was expecting GOD to...

Option 1 was looking shady from all sides

Option 2:
The application process takes a whole year. So if I wanted to get in immediately after graduation (August 2006), I would have to start applying immediately(June 2005). But seeing as I was not exactly in best shape, I had the option of waiting a year, improving my resume, working for much needed money and applying concurrently. The only problem that I faced here was finding someone to hire me for just a year. Of course I had the option of conveniently forgetting to mention this on my resume but what would I do when I had to leave town for interviews? Call in sick for the fifth time in one month?

Option 3:
This option will only come into consdieration if option 2 was adopted. If I was going to decide to take a year off, I might as well try to take the MCAT again and see if I could attain the much coveted score of 30, or maybe higher. Of course this raised a lot of other questions. Unlike the JAMB exam back home, taking the MCAT multiple times looked bad for your record. You also did not have the choice of picking which score you decided to apply with. The medical schools saw all your scores. There was also the small chance of doing worse the 3rd time, *Shiver* let's not even go there.

*************************************************************

So these were the options I had. Damned if I did, Damned if I didn't. I spent numerous hours on the phone during this period with my "Senate Committee on Career Issues". Most of its members advised me to just apply and HOPE for the best(option 1). But Hope in this case was going to be a few thousand dollars too expensive. Another small percentage suggested option 2 and only 1 suggested option 2 in combination with option 3. But this was my life and not a democracy so regardless of what the senate decided, I called my own shots.

As you must have figured out by now, it's October 2006 and I'm not a med student yet, so for sure I took option 2 and along with all the job search heartaches that came with it. But deciding whether or not to take the exam again wasn't that easy...

Humble Pie and a shot of Patience, on the rocks

2006-10-03T17:57:00.000-04:00

THE PAST, Part...

Summer 2005, a memorable summer. Finally took a trip to Maryland from “The Ends of the Earth” and got to see a bunch of my high school friends after 4 years and in the process also got my Nigerian spirits recharged by attending quite a few of our infamous parties. You don’t know what you’re missing until you steal a taste of it. I needed the relaxation anyways. Last semester had been hell, took a VERY healthy load of courses and had to take the MCAT in between all that craziness. But the fun could only last for so long. Before I knew it, it was June, and time to head out to “Know Your Dilutions University” (KYDU).

I was excited to be there though. A new town, a top 20 medical school and at last my first research experience. I could finally add that to my premed resume, good timing too cus I was planning to apply that summer. I was supposed to start work on Monday but I arrived on Friday and my over-zealous self wanted to broadcast to Dr.K that I was in town and ready to start work the very same day if need be. Trying to get my personal rating from a 100 to about 120. He just looked at me and made an “mhmmm” sound. That marked the beginning of my rating's plunge. In the coming weeks I eventually understood that sound to mean “Good Try, but simultaneously…Very Stupid”.

My Comedy of Errors:
Monday came, work started and so did Dr.K and I's love-hate affair. I considered him some kind of slave driver. I was in lab from 8am till whenever he chose to let me go. He had a mini project for me (…wow I was going to be allowed to cook my own dishes, the importance of this dish to him though, is a completely different question), and everyday after working on my project he proceeded to teach me what every other person in the lab was doing(PhDs, Post Docs and everyone). Along with all this I was expected to read and give him an oral summary of different research publications every week. Remember how complicated I told you those things were?
My first few attempts at these summaries were nothing more than "Look how much I can B.S" sessions and generated numerous "mhmmm"s from Dr.K. I could have sworn I heard his guardian angel and the devil arguing over his shoulder as to a logical reason not to kick me out of the lab for good. What was he to do with a girl that didn't know jack and was at thesame time stupid enough to believe she could fool a veteran.

The first three times I tried to present these papers, he sent me back at the end to read them again. I knew that was not a good sign. Note to self: DON'T ask Dr.K for a recommendation unless you REALLY have to.
Personal Rating: 60

To add salt to the wound, it was my first time doing research so I had to do almost every experiment twice and on really bad days five times. Imagine spending a whole day cooking, then your boss tastes it and kicks you right back to start over. I used to be so pissed off, all I can say is he should, or rather, I should be glad he wasn't Mel Gibson in "What Women Want". Cus if he knew what was going through my mind, I would probably have been thrown in some kind of jail for slander. The worst of all my issues with Dr.K though was in preparing solutions.

The science inclined of you will know the formula C1V1 = C2V2 used to dilute solutions to specific volume. Thing is I knew how to use the formula in theory but not practically, had never had to. So I always ran into problems. At first I tried to verify my solution concentrations with other members of the lab but soon enough he found out for himself that I wasn't so skilled in this area. I summarize this to be my worst day in his lab. He straight up told me he would not have hired me if he knew about this problem earlier. The devil had defeated his guardian angel this time. I'm not sure if I went home and actually cried that day but I know I spent the rest of the night figuring out those dilutions. A little too late I thought to myself. (Replay Note to Self, but this time add one more "REALLY").
Personal Rating: NON-EXISTENT ("Captain to Control Tower"... "May Day!")

Things improved a bit over the rest of the summer, I guess there was no where else to go but up. Got that rating back to right about a 70 or so and actually squeezed a few complements out of Dr.K. But he still had more complaints. In research you are supposed to write down every single thing you do so that if something went wrong with an experiment, you could back track to figure it out. I understood the reasoning behind this but I didn't see the point of going into detail about everytime I added an extra pinch of salt to a dish, or if I added some more water to the soup. So I wrote very vague notes. Not only did Dr.K complain this time, but he compared me to a certain Jane Doe he had in the lab last summer that took better notes than me. He had to go there. If there was anything I hated it was to be compared to someone else. But what could I do, he was the boss. I just nodded and smiled.
Personal Rating: 65 and plunging

I had about a week more at KYDU and about the same time to get my rating back to at least a 90. Maybe if I did one good thing at the end, I will leave a good taste in his mouth. Maybe.

I had to present my project to the rest of the faculty at the end of the summer. It was some sort of competition among all the students. Cash prizes for the best two. I had been working on the presentation for about a month now. Not just for the money, but to at least impress Dr.K in some way. I even suggested to him that I present it to him and the rest of the lab before the final one. He smiled. (Wow! Mr.Miyagi could actually smile). Everyone in the lab loved the presentation and I was a bit excited. All for them to leave and Dr.K called me to his office and proceeded to tear apart my presentation.

I downed one shot of patience all at once and quickly too. Unfortunately, I would need a second one in a minute.

He went on to "suggest" that I wrote out everything I wanted to say on paper. Not just the main points guys...every word I was going to say at the presentation. And rehearse with that. He claimed this would help me correct my terminology errors. Someone hand me that second shot quick along with a piece of humble pie! I never said a word during all this. Just nodded. I did not trust myself to open my mouth without raining "blessings" on him and other innocent members of his family scattered around the globe. I nodded again and walked out, the session was over.

A Little Victory:
Presentation day came, presented my project to a panel of judges and way too many professors. But I might as well have been presenting to Dr.K alone. All through out, I was wondering what he was thinking, was I sounding stupid again. I tried not to look at his side of the room. That would only make me more nervous. My five minutes of fame were eventually over, they clapped, of course they will, they always did. Got a few questions, tried to answer them the best I could. Afterwards at the goodbye reception, Dr.K came up to me.

Dr.K : "Nice presentation. You explained your project well, that's why they had questions. Some of those other students were pretty bad"

Wow, was he actaully giving me credit? I took a quick glance at the sky to see if there were any pigs flying. Could have sworn I saw a couple.

Me (Smiling and trying to restrain myself from giving him a hug): "Thanks a lot"

Dr.K: "But on that last question, you really should have said blah, blah instead of blah, blah, blah"

At this moment, the two pigs I had seen in the sky crashed right back to earth, they had lost their wings. I wanted to tell him I really didn't care about the correct answer. I was just glad it was over. I just nodded again...looking around for the waiter carrying another much needed shot of patience. None. Oh well, still had some of the last shot working in me.

The judges came back and announced the winners. I was one of them y'all. I went up to get my check. I looked at it as payment for the stress I had gone through and I quietly thanked Dr.K in my mind. Still had too much reserved aggression/pride to tell him that writing out the whole presentation made all the difference. I would eventually send him a very emotional email later that year after getting back to school.
Personal Rating: INDETERMINATE

********************************************************
Like there was not enough tension that summer, in the middle of my time at KYDU I got my MCAT scores back. For some reason, I decided to tell Dr.K my scores.

Me: "I got my MCAT scores back"

Dr.K: "How did you do?"

Me: "A 28P (V=10,PS=9,BS=9)"

Dr.K: "What score do you need to get into Ivy League Que?"

Geez, how random

Me: "Usually about a 33, but anything above a 30, you have a good chance"

Dr.K: "mhmmmm"

PS: There is a reason I'm not putting real names on here, I will do so at a time I deem appropriate. So please I don't expect you to help decode the real names on here if you happen to know it. For my own good...please.

And to the "anonymous" person who tried to call me out, only few people know these details about me, and of those few, only a very small number will try this TWICE. So believe it or not, I know who you are.

Ok so something came up...

2006-09-30T23:00:00.000-04:00

So I misplaced my keys at home today before heading out for my shift at the emergency room (started volunteering there last week). Was in a hurry so I didn't have time to search. I ended up having to leave my apartment door unlocked and hoped no weirdo will be there waiting for me when I got back. Checked my snail mail-box on the way out and saw there was a letter in there, for me or my roommate. Probably junk mail, no keys anyways so I couldn't check. Off to the ER.

Compared to last week it was exciting today. A 15 year old was being a good boy and mowing the lawn of the house. Suddenly the mower hit a little metal pole (about as thick as two nails, maybe a foot long) underground. Think of throwing a piece of metal at a fan's blades while in motion. The metal got uprooted from the ground, propelled in the air and stabbed old boy in the leg. (Grey's Anatomy fans think of this week's episode, the guy with a tree trunk stuck in him, but on a smaller scale). This guy was wincing in pain. After a few shots of morphine he quieted down a bit, at the time I left, he was waiting for vacancy in the Operating Room (OR) to get the the pole removed...all I could say was wow! I was impressed with myself, I did not even wince at the sight, I'm stronger than I thought. But the next case just left my mouth wide open though.

So the ER got a radio message from the EMTs (the guys that come when you dial 9-1-1), they said to prepare for a trauma case (aka drop everything else you're doing and prepare for the worst). They were bringing in an attempted suicide case. All the doctors, physician assistants, nurses, you name it were running up and down wearing all kind of masks and gowns and heading to the trauma room. Me being at the bottom of the ER food chain, I wasn't in the trauma room with them, there was no more room in there anyways, about twenty different kind of doctors were in. They bring in the guy, get ready for this y'all, HE WAS 12! What is a 12 year old trying to commit suicide for? Hold on to your seats now...

He tried to hang himself because his Grandma had not bought him the video game he wanted for his birthday! The poor old lady found him in the bathroom and called 9-1-1. All I can say is Geeez. At this juncture, I would like to take a note from TUPAC and communicate with my unborn child/children:

DEAR JUNIOR,

MOMMY HERE, I KNOW THERE'S ONLY HALF OF YOU INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW, BUT THERE'RE SOMETHINGS WE NEED TO CLARIFY. YOU CAN TELL YOUR SPERM HALF WHEN Y'ALL FINALLY MEET.

I'M GONNA LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALL...BUT IF YOU EVER, I MEAN EVER TRY ANYTHING OF THIS SORT(...HMMM...SOMEONE HOLD ME NOW CUS I'M ABOUT TO HURT SOMEONE...) YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT FAST AND ACCURATELY CUS IF I FIND YOU...I MEAN IF I FIND YOU IN THE PROCESS(*WHOOOO...SNAPPING FINGERS*)AFTER I TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL AND THEY CONFIRM EVERYTHING IS OK, WE WILL PACK OUR THINGS,THANK THE DOCTORS FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE, I WILL PROBABLY EVEN GIVE YOU A HUG CUS OF ALL THE HORMONES THAT WILL BE RAGING IN MY BODY AT THAT TIME. THEN WE WILL GO HOME, I WILL DO MY MOTHERHLY DUTIES AND FEED YOU YOUR FAVORITE MEAL, THEN PROCEED TO MY OTHER MOTHERLY DUTY, WHOOPING YOUR BEHIND.

I WILL WHOOP YOU SO BAD THAT YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF BACK ON THESAME BED IN THESAME ER AND PROBABLY SEEING THESAME DOCTOR SO HE WILL UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHY WE'RE BACK SO SOON. SO WHETHER I BUY YOU YOUR "MADDEN FOOTBALL YEAR 2016 EDITION" OR ALL I CAN GET YOU IS A T-SHIRT FROM THE DOLLAR STORE FOR YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY, YOU WILL...ACTUALLY IT'S NOT A CHOICE...YOU MUST BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!!

LOVE, YO MAMMA

On the real though, how could that kid have done such to his grandma, the poor lady looked so distraught. She had to go through all kind of paper work with Social Workers and Psychiatrists. I was beginning to get scared that they might try to take him out of her custody. It looked like they understood though. Kids are just crazy nowadays, especially with all the crap they show on TV these days. All I really could found out before my shift ended was that his brain was OK but he was still not very conscious. I really pray none of us ever experience such and he gets better soon.

Anyways so I came back home and finally found my keys. Ran back down to check my mail. It was a letter from one of the Med Schools. Was very thin, looked like a rejection to me. Opened it and looked for the famous line "We had many qualified applicants this year..." but I was pleasantly surprised.

IT'S ANOTHER INTERVIEW Y'ALL...IVY LEAGUE BABY!!!!!!

Like Dave Chapelle will say...IT'S A CELEBRATION BISSHES!

Aight, I'm out. Off to read that letter again, must make sure I'm not dreaming.

The Appetizer

2006-09-27T12:58:00.000-04:00

I know there are quite a few people waiting to finally find out what I got the second time I took the MCAT…it’s coming soon, I promise. It should even be the next post or so, so far nothing comes up in between. So before that I would like to educate you on a few things that might help with the next post…a breakdown to the layman of what exactly Research is.

If you’ve ever watched Hell’s Kitchen, Iron Chef or any other cooking show, you might actually have a heads up, cus research is pretty much cooking. Like these shows, the main goal is to cook up something using your own version of some basic technique and then hopefully discovering a taste no one has ever found before(the cure to cancer, etc). On accomplishing this you proceed to write about your discovery in the most complicated way possible(a publication) and hope the judges(reviewers) are just so confused that they give up trying to understand how you got such a unique taste and just give you the prize(getting published in a major journal e.g. Cell or a Nobel Prize).

But not everyone can just up and decide to cook a masterpiece. To be given your own cooking space in a kitchen (lab), there are numerous hoops (degrees) you have to jump through. Before you are even allowed to touch a spoon in the kitchen, the head chef must be sure that you know the basics, e.g. boiling water, at least in theory. This prerequisite is usually satisfied by showing you have taken such classes as “What is the point of cooking anyways?”(Biology or more specifically Emerging Diseases of the 21st Century), “Will the kitchen really burn down if I dip the paper recipe unto the burning stove?”(Chemistry) and “What happens if I toss the pancake up too high?”(Physics). To get an edge above the rest, you could even take “Dish Washing 101” a lab class that will exempt you from having to go through the breaking in ritual of washing all the Petri dishes your first few weeks in lab.

All these classes are usually satisfied by jumping through the first hoop (a Bachelor’s degree) and if you want to get a bit ahead, just a bit, the second hoop(Master’s). But unlike most other professions where the second hoop makes a big difference, here, if you don’t jump a third one(PhD) you might as well just stop at the first. The first two hoops only guarantee that you will be able to assist a chef(a PhD student or higher) with his side dishes, never the main course unless you prove yourself worthy. And never your own personal dish, unless you are some kind of guru. Proving your worth is really easier said than done. Think of the first time you ever really followed a recipe to cook a new dish, did it actually taste the way it was supposed to?...exactly. But then you probably just kept that failure to yourself and tried it again later. Unfortunately in a research kitchen, if you are only a cooking assistant, every mistake you make gets broadcasted to the chef you’re cooking for and the rest of the kitchen. Sometimes if you’re really unfortunate, the Head Chef too. It’s like trying a new recipe for a party and not knowing you screwed it up until everyone has tasted it. Then you go home wondering if you are still going to be allowed into the kitchen the next day, and if yes, what new way of screwing up a dish you were going to discover, because believe me for every step in the recipe numerous things could go wrong. Even the simplest instruction, like “Place the pan in the oven at 30 degrees Celsius”, the question is which oven? The oven you cleaned with bleach or the one you just used soap to clean? The direct heat oven? The indirect heat oven? The oven/stove combo or the plain oven? And believe me each one will produce a different result when it comes to tasting time (running a gel). So you might have mixed all the ingredients right, put just the right amount of salt, sugar, and even the baking powder but bam! You put it in the wrong oven, you might as well have been baking a stone for all they care cus your results will be pretty much useless.

So you can only imagine the presence of mind needed to avoid making a complete fool of oneself in the kitchen. Things like getting excited over say…getting an interview, or thinking about how much money you owe Uncle Sam, are bound to convert your cooking expedition into a comedy of errors, unless such emotions are locked up in some obscure corner of your mind the moment you hold that spoon in your hand. The only other alternative is to jump through enough hoops to enable you cook independently. That way if you screw something up, you just have to make sure you can do it again quickly before the head chef finds out, you don’t owe anyone else any explanations. The chances of the whole lab discovering you screwed up something? Slim to none, except of course your screw up entails blowing up the kitchen completely.

So everyday I go to work…even with the thousand things I have to keep track of outside work, I empty my mind and become just a cooking assistant. I add two teaspoons of salt when I’m asked to, not a grain more, not a grain less. I ask every obvious question possible because I’d rather look stupid to one person than to the entire lab and I read every recipe hundred times before starting anything. Unfortunately, this still doesn’t always guarantee the best tasting dish cus in the long run, the only thing that makes a difference is experience. It’s like making Fried-Rice with your grandma’s recipe and expecting it to taste just the way hers does. Needless to say, you might come close but never close enough…

PS: Refresh your memory by checking out my History 101 sidebar before the next post...

The few perks of an underfurnished apartment

2006-09-23T16:10:00.000-04:00

(An ode to my favorite MasterCard Commercial)

Apartment Furnishings: My camping chair from freshman year, an old lazy boy recliner, a 27-inch TV that only has one channel but doubles well as an "entertainment center", the 12-inch functioning TV sitting on top of the 27-inch TV to bring it up to eye-level, my roommate's center rug from college, a "Bakers" shoe box that doubles as both a writing surface and dinning table, and last but not least, my "justification for higher education" wall poster: $100 (give or take depreciation or appreciation index)

Basic Cable + Internet from noted cable provider: $40 /month + hidden charges and the inconveniences of never getting to watch Nip/Tuck or Monday Night Football

EXTENDED Basic Cable+Internet from thesame cable provider: $100/month + more hidden charges, Nip/Tuck and Monday Night Football.

Getting Extended Basic Cable for the price of Basic Cable because the Cable Guy felt sorry for both you and the pathetic state of your apartment...PRICELESS!

For everything else...I stare at my poster and convince myself it's all going to be worth it.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

2006-09-21T11:16:00.000-04:00

Can I get an AMEN? A Hallelujah? A thank-you JESUS?...

Just checked my email, I have an interview(in the midwest) in a month or so. The school did not even ask for a secondary application or a letter of recommendation!

AMEN! HALLELUJAH!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Ok back to work, gotta stay calm so I don't screw something up again!

Housekeeping...

2006-09-20T20:01:00.001-04:00

Aight so I finally got my baby back up and running after playing catch me if you can with the DHL delivery guy for three days. I literally had to stalk him on the streets of…well, ABBEYville to finally get my power cord from him, seeing as trying to be at home when he rolled by was proving impossible (see comments from last post for details of what happened). Thank GOD though cus I was beginning to suffer from some kind of blogger withdrawal syndrome. Anyways before I get back to the main story line…a little housekeeping:

It was pointed out to me that my website had occasional popups. I finally confirmed it while trying to access my site from my work computer, I probably never noticed it on mine because of my popup blocker. So after some investigation I realized it might be from the website that supports my polls. Right now I’m enjoying having them on here and getting a feel for what you are thinking. By the way, all y’all that think I still got below a 30 on my second MCATs, all I can say is “dang where is the love?” And those that thought I got above a 30, I like the way you think…you’ll find out the real scores soon enough. Anyways, so I have decided that even though the popups might make my website look a little tacky I’ll leave the polls on for now. You guys can activate your popup blockers too. But if it starts getting intolerable, holla at your girl and I’ll make necessary changes.

I’ll be back with more interesting stuff soon, for now, it’s off to adjust our TV antenna to get CW at its clearest for America’s Next Top Model Cycle 7, yeah baby! Hopefully this one is not as predictable as Nayeemah’s Cycle (4?), feel me? As you can tell we're still working on getting cable TV up in this 1930's joint. I'm just glad we're getting the important channels for this week if not, I would have been getting to know my neighbor's in a minute, at least for tonight!

Updates...

2006-09-14T14:13:00.000-04:00

So my life this week has been about pumping out random essays on every topic under the sun for my applications. And yes, I confess to using the "poor-girl-from-third-world-country” theme more than once so far. What could a sister do? It’s really getting hard to find something interesting to write about. Anyways, so far I have spent a little more than 1500 dollars, submitted ten secondaries and trying to submit four more in the next few days. So by the end of this week that total will be more in the neighborhood of $2000. Let’s not even get into all the other profitable uses this money could have been put into. For one I know it could end my love-hate affair with the City Bus Transit in the blink of an eye. I am praying and hoping though, that someone will fall in love with my application soon and invite me for an interview stat!

My GRE tutoring sessions are also finally over, but as fate will have it, there was a little drama at the center my student took his exams so we’re trying to sort that out. It was a great experience though; he was not some young teenager that I had to chase around so he did all his homework and made my life very easy. Hopefully my next set of students are that way too. Hopefully. This next batch is a pair of high school students who need help in Biology. Yup, as you can see my little tutoring empire is spreading its roots farther. The new students wanted to start this week but I had to take a week off to get a bunch of these apps out the way. Another advantage of calling your own shots. If you’re one of those that is still contemplating whether or not you want to try it, all I can say is take a risk and don’t over think it. I made about 500 bucks, give or take (tax free) in a little more than a month and there’s already a new pair of students waiting. Unfortunately for me all the money is going to Uncle Sam, the initial grand plan was to save some or all of it. But what sense does it make to have a savings account when you’re in debt. All I can say is thank GOD for little mercies. Now unto a juicier and somewhat “grosser” story.

So I was not going to say anything about this, until I shared it with a few people and realized how hilarious it was. Like I said in my earlier post, I was in New York this weekend, actually New Jersey for a friend’s party…ok so it was a friend of a friend’s mom’s 50th birthday party. A bit confusing, but the take home lesson here is I was not invited, at least not directly. But the thought of passing up some Nigerian party food got me very agitated, lol and I figured I’d be doing myself more of a favor if I went than if I sat at home and questioned myself every time I had to warm up some boring rice and stew again. So your girl hopped on the train and headed down to Jersey. I considered myself a very hungry “well wisher” anyways so why not. The party was great but the food was even better. The best part of it was that no one there knew me. I must have been on that buffet line at least four times that night. I wasn’t trying to get any guys attention there either so I ignored all the random stares. Girls eat too darn it! They might call it greed but I call it “making hay while the sun shineth”. Cus the sun didn’t shine like this on my side of the east coast. There was also a little side mission I had to accomplish.

I had promised to bring my roommate some food, more like she told me not to set foot in the house without her share of some assorted meat and such from the party. So in between trying to satisfy myself, I had to think about feeding the “fam” back home. The best thing on the menu was the spinach soup (efo soup in my language). They hooked up the life out of this soup. Every type of meat conceivable was in there. Shrimp, smoked turkey, cow foot, beef, chicken and other protein sources I could not readily classify. Needless to say each of those four trips to the line yielded at least half a plate full of it. And two take away plates…again for the fam.

The trouble started the next morning when my stomach started making interesting sounds. In all my joy I had forgotten that every plate of efo soup consumed translated into a very unpleasant one-on-one with Shyts-r-us. So after a very intense session that morning, it was finally time to head back home.

On arrival in NY, while trying to walk down from 34th street to 42nd to catch my train home, an impromptu one-on-one was again called for. I had to look for the closest meeting place. Unfortunately most places had this “bathrooms only for customers” policy. I didn’t want anyone asking me any questions so I tried to hold up till I saw a Mickey Dees or Burger King. None in sight and about 4 more blocks till the station. I was not even going to think of using the bathroom at Grand Central cus almost a million people go through that station daily. I can only imagine what the bathrooms looked like. Closest thing was a Starbucks. Those people made so much money that they probably wouldn’t care if I borrowed their facilities without getting an Espresso…the last thing I needed anyways was anything dairy to compound the issue more. So I went into their only bathroom and ended up staying longer than I expected. The darn customers did not even let me do the deed in peace. People kept knocking. I kept yelling “One minute”, “be out in a few” and other polite versions of “leave me the hell alone”. If only my stomach understood that we kinda had to hurry things up before someone started peeing on themselves out there. It was still taking its time. After about 15 minutes I opened the door expecting to give the person waiting a quick apology…

There were like ten people in line giving me some mad attitude. Too many people to apologize to. What was I going to say to them anyways, they’d figure out what was going on as soon as they stepped in there and took a breath. I just gave them the “Yo! Stuff happens” look and felt their eyes boring into my back as I walked out. I kept praying no one would notice I did not buy anything, and that my skirt was not caught somewhere in my draws exposing my holier of holies to the world. I made it out safely. The only task left was to survive the x-hour train ride back home.

Luckily the rest of the trip was uneventful and to celebrate, guess what I had for lunch at work on Monday? Rice and more efo soup. I did the math it takes about 8 hours after consumption for the running stomach to set in(forgive me, I'm a scientist, we tend to observe trends). Enough time to be back in the comfort of my own home. And believe me it was worth it.

By the way check out the polls on my side bars, it's a good way for me to interact with you, even if you don't feel like leaving comments...

Mellono...what?

2006-09-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

Mellonophobia. I was in the New York area this weekend and like all my other visits; I had to resist temptation after temptation to yield to my addictions: Forever21 and the hundred and one no name shoe stores on 34th street. But these were not the only battles I had in the big apple. At this point in my life, when I am in the process of investing thousands of dollars into a future career, one tends to wonder, what if I put in all this and I end up hating medicine? What if I am really supposed to be a lawyer or something completely different? What if, what if. If only I could get a little thumbs up or thumbs down from the supernatural. A little nudge on to the right path. For this of course the answer was easy. I could easily walk into one of the Original Miss Cleo type corners, pay some weird looking lady a small amount and let her tell me what was really in store for me. Don’t tell me you guys have never considered this? But assuming she tells you what really lies ahead, what fun will it be if you found out you were going to die in ten years, or you were never going to be successful no matter what you did? What will you live for when you already know it’s going to end up in nothing good? So since most of us really don’t know what lies ahead, once in a while we go through brief phases of Mellonophobia.

But the future always seems to work its self out. And even if the ending is not a happy one, you learn to live with your decision. Take the story of a good friend of mine. We’ll call him “the engineer”.

We graduated together a few months ago, he with a masters and me with a bachelors. After numerous interviews, he got an offer from a relatively small company that he really wasn’t too happy about. He felt he was underpaid and overqualified for the job. To make matters worse, it was in one of the most expensive cities in the state. What could a brother do? He accepted the offer and started work. Thing was the company was in the process of merging with another larger one so things were kind of wishy-washy. About 6 weeks into the job, his company found some obscure excuse and terminated his employment. Note they did not LAY HIM OFF, because that would have entailed them paying him a certain amount for him to fend for himself while he looked for another job. They FIRED him, straight up, no benefits, no nothing, just a smudge on his record. You can be sure my guy was mellonophobic in every sense of it at this point. Tried to sue but was told the company had a right to fire whoever, whenever. Just like that, he became an engineer, with a masters, making your lunch sandwiches. He started applying again, and more interviews came pouring in. Even after he told his interviewers the story, most of them sympathized with him rather than kick him out for his bad record. The VP of one of the companies actually told him about how he went through exactly the same thing on his first job. Now “the engineer” has more than one offer to choose from and at better locations than his previous. Last time I spoke to him, he told me the best thing that ever happened to him was getting fired. You don’t hear that often now, do you?

So this one had a happy ending. This next one left me with mixed feelings. It’s about a lady that I have become close to over the years. We’ll call her “Aunty Dearest”

Back in her 20's (probably in the mid to late 1970's) her fiancée (Uncle Ola) left Nigeria to come to the United States for school. There was no email then and international phone calls were pretty expensive, in case you were wondering :) She worked in a small company as a typist back then and they both looked forward to receiving each other’s letters. But of course the vultures would not let Aunty Dearest be. Numerous guys from all works of life tried to win her over despite the fact she boldly announced to them she was engaged. They laughed at her every time she told them Uncle Ola was overseas. They told her he dumped her the minute he stepped foot in the US. With good reason too. There were numerous examples of people that had abandoned their partners when they left the country. But she held on. One particularly persistent one was this very successful business man. He promised her the world, a house of her own, a benz, the whole nine yards. But she knew her heart was not there. Uncle Ola was a student and could not give her all these things but that was who she wanted. The Hollywood version of this story would end up with her marrying Uncle Ola, them living happily ever after and even becoming richer than the business man. But this is the real world, and aint no fairy tales here.

“Aunty Dearest” and “Uncle Ola” did get married, had beautiful children but have never been what you will consider wealthy. And I mean they’ve had some REALLY rough patches. I wonder if sometimes she thinks about what would have happened if she had married her business man. Of course she could have grown to love him and at the same time never worry about money. But if she had married him, there would also be times she would wonder if she might have been better of with “Uncle Ola”. A Perfect Catch 22.

So whether or not you are feeling a bit mellonophobic today, scared to fly because of the risk of never making it back to land, scared to invest in those stocks because you have no clue if there’s going to be another Great Depression tomorrow, scared because you have some terminal disease and you are not sure if tomorrow will be D-day, or just scared of life’s surprises, try to learn from your past failures, learn to accept the consequences of the decisions you make, hold on to what/who you believe in and let go of the things you have no control over. Most of all think of your life as an interesting story and look forward to the next chapter tomorrow will bring. Don’t let Miss Cleo kill the surprise.

Easier said than done…I’m working on it too. Meanwhile, back to them applications.

OK so don’t go using Mellonophobia in your essays cus I just made it up, but it’s not completely meaningless. “Mellon” is the Greek word for “future” and of course “phobia” means “fear”…Mellonophobia, Fear of the Future.

Joke's on me!

2006-09-08T10:55:00.000-04:00

Boss to audience during acknowledgements after a presentation:
"....I'd like to thank "his Boss" for her support, "ABBEY" for her excellent technical assistance, the rest of the lab....etc"

ABBEY to Boss after presentation:
"Nice presentation, don't really know about the 'EXCELLENT technical assistance' part... "

Boss to ABBEY:
"I know right? I was just trying to encourage you"

daaannnnnggggg! LOL.

Apartment Blues (II)

2006-09-07T09:14:00.000-04:00

So I guess to test the elevator’s capacity, I have to find it first…

Early Saturday morning, in the middle of the leftovers of Ernesto, I decided to walk down and actually go see the apartment for myself. I let myself in by obediently “bringing the PROXIreader within close PROXImity of the magnetic reader”, could hear Ms.Manager’s voice ringing in my ears. The lobby looked beautiful. ANTIQUE chairs and pictures all around. My soon-to-be apartment was on the fifth floor and following the paper map tour I was given, I knew the elevator was next to the stairs. I saw the stairs but no elevator. I went back again and looked for the elevator. Nothing. In the modern world when you think elevator, you think of a flat, usually stainless steel door possibly with a split along the middle, hard to miss. But for some reason I wasn’t spotting it. Since when did an elevator become a needle in a hay stack? Maybe I was on the wrong side of the building, but there was no other side. All I saw was this big door, looked like the door to some kind of store room or something. Couldn’t be it. I worked around again, *Ok, think outside the box* by elimination, the only thing it could be was that door. So I went and tried to open it. No luck. Until I saw a little button next to it. Oh my goodness! This is the elevator, and its entrance is a wooden door, this can’t be good. I pushed the button and waited to hear beeps. Again nothing.

I eventually heard the sound of a bunch of metal rubbing against each other. And finally a tiny lit up room came into view. At this point the door clicked and I tried to open it. This time it obeyed. There before my eyes was another mesh gate that I had to open. I thought I was in a movie for a second, one of those movies based in the 1930’s. The elevator was one of those antique ones that I had only seen in movies, most of these kind of elevators were only used as freight elevators now(can’t seem to find a pic). Its inside was painted with fishes on a blue background. Not some professional masterpiece. It looked like they gathered a bunch of twelve-year olds to paint it as a last minute science/art project. It was until my fifth or so ride in it that I finally figured out they were trying to create the illusion of going under water while in the elevator. Perhaps to accommodate its more claustrophobic riders, cus the darn thing felt like a cage. Good try though, but I still felt like a gladiator traveling in his cage to God-knows-what up above.

I finally made it up, no angry lions or blood thirsty Romans waiting to watch a fatal battle. Great, but at this point I was dreading what the apartment itself would look like. I held my breath as I swung the door open...hardwood floors. Why are these East Coasters always so fascinated by wooden floors? Personally I think they’re too much work to maintain. I’ll rather do carpet that I can vacuum when necessary. On a more approving note, the bedrooms and living room looked pretty decent. Nice and spacious with one of those old school metal column heaters on the wall. Next stop the kitchen.

This was the biggest shocker of all. It was smaller than anything else in the rest of the apartment, in fact, than any kitchen I had ever seen. Apparently, back when the building was constructed, people did not feel that counter tops were a necessity. How was I supposed to throw down when there was no counter top or surface to create any masterpiece? So all that was in there was an old sink, a refrigerator, stove and some dingy cupboards. These cupboards were made of some rusty metal that looked like you might catch something from just opening them. The only relatively modern thing in there were the refrigerator and stove, so we’re going to try working with those until the bank accounts give us the green light to go shopping for tables and such.

The bathroom too had the same general theme, old tub, old sink etc. The toilet has an amazingly low water pressure that doesn’t look like it can handle a rough bout of constipation. At least thank GOD all utilities are included so if you have to try three or four times to bury the deed, water bills won’t be going off the charts.

And that ladies and gentlement is my home for the next year or so, maybe longer if I get into med school here

***************************************************************

When it eventually came time to move, you can trust we did not break our backs trying to carry stuff up a million stairs, apparently the tons of other people moving in were not trying to do this either so I did not feel too bad. The elevator thankfully was on top of the little game it had. Too bad Ms.Manager’s ten minute lecture was going to be of no use. It was while moving that I met one of my neighbors.

He advised us not to look at the building as being old, but rather as it having “character”. S-S-Suuuuure! Like I said earlier not many things live up to their hype, and even trying to play mind games with oneself is not helping this one. Our other neighbors(the roaches) have also been coming out one-by-one for their fatal meet-and-greet sessions with us. I guess with time I might eventually start to notice this “character” our friend talks about. Till then, its off to to take a 1930's style shower, then down the time machine…errr…elevator, out of here and back to the future(work)!

Apartment Blues (I)

2006-09-05T12:32:00.000-04:00

There’s a certain flexibility that the unknown brings. It leaves you and your imagination the luxury of creating whatever you want out of certain stimuli. A little insight is all you need and the rest of the picture is filled in by the brain. Even the good Lord understood this fact and that was why he kept describing heaven to his disciples. A picture is worth a thousand words. He could have easily taken them there to see for themselves, and save Himself long-winded parables, but the hype is what makes you long for it more. Unfortunately though, unlike the wait for heaven, this “hype” is sometimes misleading.

A more canal example - a guy will prefer to see a lady in a low cut top and some tight jeans rather than the same lady running around buck-wild “umfufu” style. The latter denies their brain the opportunity to imagine, to create the best possible picture of what lies beneath. Because let’s face it, their imagination usually captures the idealistic sag-and-stretch-mark-free image which reality, more often than not, denies them. This weekend for me was a reminder that only heaven, well and LeBron James, might ever live up to and surpass their hype, all other things will fall varying levels below. One of those other things…My New Apartment.

The apartment I subleased during the summer was a big disappointment to say the least. The poor thing has been standing there for over a hundred years and no one seemed to have cared enough to do a renovation. Except of the plumbing system. Everything else looked like it was in its original condition. The bath tub had a huge window beside it, which if care was not taken, gave passers by unadulterated views of the female anatomy (soapified edition). Perhaps more suiting for a time when the pervert to normal human ratio was significantly lower. This same window was framed with wood. Any body with common sense will know that wood, water and heat produces nothing good. There was really no telling what member of the fungal world you will find growing on there every morning. We (my roommate and I) also happened to share the apartment with a family of mice, who despite all our efforts, felt they had as much right to the apartment as we did.

So you can imagine my joy when it finally came time to move out. I had passed by my new apartment daily all through out the summer because it was only a few blocks from mine. My friend (smart one) whom I was supposed to move in with had picked it out for us way before I even arrived in town. Unfortunately I never got a chance to check it out for myself. It looked like a modern apartment complex from the outside though. Nice security system, beautiful lights here and there. Modern, that was all I cared about.

I got the key from the Apartment Manager’s office somewhere on the other side of town. Unfortunately, this came with a forty minute lecture from a very sarcastic Ms. Manager. I usually appreciate sarcasm, except when it entails converting the 15 min break I sneaked off work to an hour long one. There goes my undercover operation. The key points of her lecture were

- The PROXIreader – Care and Uses: Turned out to be some card for building access that apparently could not be stored anywhere else but one’s wallet as the ever so fragile thingy could break if subjected to the strain of a key chain. She failed to mention if the user was responsible for replacing it if such damage occurred. But from the “it’s-for-your-own-good” look in her eye, I was sure there was a clause stating exactly that somewhere in the ten page lease.

- The Stress of Moving – Capturing it before it Captures you: Drink a lot of water, lift with your legs and not your back, blah blah blah. Since when did apartment management care so much about their tenants? They probably just wanted to make sure you were healthy enough to get back to work immediately after moving so there will be no excuses for a late rent payment. Sorry but I’m a bit cynical.

- Moving Heavy Furniture- Tips for working with an elevator of LIMITED capacity: Here she went on for about ten minutes about how it only made LOGICAL sense to carry furniture and other heavy things via the stairs and not the elevator. At this point I just nodded, all I wanted her to do was get done so I could get on my merry way. I could mentally see myself and some poor guy trying to haul a mattress and the boxed pieces of my life over five flights of stairs…not so logical Ms.Manager, not so logical. We’ll just have to see what exactly LIMITED really meant…

What to do when all Hell Breaks Loose

2006-08-31T21:49:00.000-04:00

Someone please tell me to get off here! Right now I'm trying to escape from my reality. Everything seems to be happening all at once.

Challenge 1:
My summer sublease is over tomorrow so I will be leaving the comfort of a stranger's bed, couch, TV, etc and spending labor day weekend moving my stuff one block down the street and most likely, smack in the middle of Tropical Depression "Ernesto" or whatever other state of mind he decides to turn into this weekend. The best part is the apartment is completely...UNFURNISHED. Why did I just find that out today? In other words, I will be in a very spartan apartment, me and my camping chair from freshman year, just the two of us, well and a sea of boxes of my junk. I guess with no internet and cable I will have no excuse but to face my reality...

Challenge 2, 3, 4...
What Reality you might ask? All I can say is be careful what you ask for. I've been begging GOD to allow the powers that be verify my primary applications all this while and yesterday, 1 month and five days after submission, after sucking up my $760, after taking my blood pressure to new highs, they finally did. They verified the darn thing. And the cycle has started again. Round two of my Charity Ball has started but this time the money is being doled out in bits...100 bucks to school A, 75 bucks to school B and the nice ones only ask for $45, but they all add up. Between yesterday and today I have received about 6 more secondaries, I know I wanted them but dang! Can we agree on a Take-It-Easy-On-ABBEY ceasefire here. One a week please. And not only do they want my money, they have other requests.

They want to get to know "another side of me". Like other things I'm passionate about apart from medicine. Oh I'm allowed to have interests outside wondering how every organ in the body worked? Wow, wish I had known that sooner. Then some of them want me to tell them something ELSE apart from what I told them in my primary applications. Problem is I told them everything they want and need to hear already. The only card left to play is the Poor-Girl-From-Third-World-Country one and that is only used when the doodoo is right about to hit the fan. If they push hard enough though, they might just get it. *I really just feel like screaming right now*

*Shakes head* Human beings! We honestly can never be satisfied. God Forgive Me.

Pseudo-Challenge:
In between all of this, my student is taking his GREs in a week or so and needless to say our sessions have been getting more intensive. I really hope he does very well so at least I won't feel bad for taking those checks after each of our sessions. It has been an emotional roller coaster too. Some days things are looking positive and others are just frustrating, for both of us. Note that this is only considered a "pseudo-challenge" cus it actually brings in income unlike the earlier ones. Nuff Said!

So my tasks for this weekend are to
- Look into getting a decent "lightly-used" mattress that at least looks like no party/parties have had numerous failed attempts at "going into the world and multiplying" on it.
- Or a couch, whichever is cheaper
- Get one of these seemingly impossible essays done and turn in a few more applications next week.
- Wait and Pray, then start ranting again when the wait is over!

So what do you do when all hell breaks loose? You ESCAPE, into another world-cyber or otherwise. The key to this technique is that said ESCAPE is TEMPORARY, again I say TEMPORARY. If you find it hard to come back to your REALITY, you're on your own. This is me getting back to mine...

PS: If anyone knows where I can get free GRE math tests online let me know. thanks!
PPS: And checkout some other interesting blogs on my sidebars...more ways to escape reality lol

The Best Laid Plans....

2006-08-29T20:35:00.000-04:00

(The Past Part IV)

OK finally back to the main gist. Let's do a quick recap. So far in my journey to fulfil those admissions requirements, I have gone to the right classes and done an internship. That's pretty much it. Actually the internship does not really count cus it's not on the list, more like a plus. I still needed two very important activities though-research and volunteering. At this point (Jan 2005), I realized I only had one summer left before graduation so I needed to make VERY good use of it.

Seeing as I had to take the MCAT again that April and I already had two jobs, I really didn't have any free time to spend being a doorman (oops I mean "volunteering") at the hospital. So I decided to concentrate on the MCAT and look for a summer research position. Of course, I faced the normal problem. Three quarters of the positions I found did not take internationals, to add fuel to the fire, I did not have any prior research experience. Honestly speaking, I had no clue what the heck research involved. The most I knew about it was from watching Dexter's Lab and Steve Urkel. So needless to say, my application was not very competitive. I started out applying to about five or so schools. I can't even remember which ones they are right now and I just waited to hear back.

Subconsciously though, I had other plans. One way or another, my manager at Miu Corp had signed me up for another internship that summer. Personally I think all they require of their interns was to show up to work daily and you automatically get resigned. Not trying to say I didn't pull my weight, cus when things eventually got busy in the fall you can trust your girl held it down. Compared to some other interns that showed up to work at 3 pm daily, I was an excellent intern. I even tried to submit a patent, which the corporate lawyers, of course, quickly threw out citing financial reasons. Tsall good though, if they don't like my idea, someone else will. Anyways, the point of all this is that I had another choice, I could go back to Miu Corp for the summer if none of the schools I applied to for research called me back. Or so I thought...

At about March, I still had not heard back from any of the schools I applied to and I almost started getting worried. Almost. Until I remembered I had choices, better paying choices for that matter. I was already contemplating what pet project to take on that summer, perhaps wardrobe expansion part II infact why not just do part II and III all in one, that would be enough to keep me busy for a summer. So I relaxed a bit, I was sure some people had gotten into medical school without research anyways so why stress. Or worst case, I could look for a position with a professor at my school. That was until I got the email from my manager:

"Abbey", unfortunately, due to stricter hiring policies, I am not able to offer you a coop position for this summer. I want to thank you again for your work last year and best of luck in the future.

I read it again, hoping some of the words will have changed. Unfortunately they didn't. How could this happen? In all of three lines, my back-up plan was officially non-existent and all that seemed to await me was a summer like the two others. Either one of earning 6+ bucks per hour or earning nothing at all and bumming out at some unfortunate relative's house. I don't know y'all but it was at this point that it finally began to hit me that I was not in control and only GOD was. That was the only explanation as to why I could be getting this email now. My manager and I had finalized everything before this, he had sent me the paperwork and I was already planning my accomodations for goodness sake! In my hysteria, I called him to find out what the heck went wrong. I was very candid with him and told him I just wanted the truth. That I would understand if my performance was subpar and that was the reason for the change of heart. But he explained that he begged the higher ups for me and they said there was no point hiring an international intern when they knew they couldn't hire her for a full time position. *Sigh*

With no other choice, I stayed up all night with dearest Uncle Google looking for research programs online, I must have applied to about fourteen programs that night, and when my body sent me the "We're about to crash for good" signal, I gave up and went to bed. It paid off cus a few weeks later I got an email from a professor at "Know-your-dilutions" University. Offering me a position. More on the name later. I was so excited that I did not stop to think why he sent the email to two other people. I quickly replied him pouring blessings on him and the rest of his generation for being kind enough to grant me a position.

He replied the next day. Again to me and the two others. He told us he had just short-listed us from the group of applicants and he needed us to read one of his research articles and ask him questions. He would make a decision based on the nature and depth of the questions we asked. What kind of long-winded-ANTM-type elimination process was this? Anyways, again beggar has no choice. I quickly printed the article and began trying to make some sense of it. I had to get my answers in as soon as possible, I felt like I was really on a game show. But if you have seen any research articles, you will know that they are pretty much like greek and latin rolled up into one. Acronyms and jargon thrown all over the place. You had to read them like three or four times over to even begin to understand it. I ended up asking him what I consider very stupid questions but they were the best I could come up with, considering the fact that I read it while simultaneously pretending to listen in all my classes that day. For some reason though, he "liked" my questions, or maybe the other applicants were just like "Screw it" and didn't reply him. Whatever the case, it worked out perfectly for me.

Again, if I had been thinking clearly during all this, I would have put two-and-two together and figured out that ol' boy didn't play. But if I didn't realize it then, I quickly did my very first day in his lab...

PS: I'm sure you guys are tired of all my Inspector Gadget type Code words on here. I plan to do a post in the near future where I will reveal everything, my former workplaces, the famous "21", etc. If you have anything you will want me to add to this post, let me know. But it will only be up for 24 hrs cus I'm still watching my back on here. Don't miss it!

Link Up

2006-08-27T11:30:00.000-04:00

All the talk about interviews got me poking around the internet, here are some links I consider interesting...they vary from career help articles, countdowns and other completely random stuff. Some I just found and some are from my classic collection. Take time out and click on a few. For the Forbes countdowns there's usually a picture on the left you can click on for slideshows. ENJOY!

Henrietta has left the building, or not?

Are you being too nice?
I recommend all of the links, but this is a personal favorite...especially for those in Corporate America, in fact, anyone working period!

Tell me about yourself. And no, not the 1 hour version

Is dating on the job really a no-no?

So if I become a surgeon, would I really have to learn to hold my pee for a 26 hr surgery?
This one settled an argument between my sister and I. Of course I won...lol

Geez, another career fair? How will this be any different from the 100 others?

Renting aint easy, especially if you live here

How not to fall into the trap
Useful tips, but sometimes very idealistic

Who says you have to sleep 8 hrs to stay healthy?
Found this one today.

PS: Henrietta Lack's (HeLa) cells are used in almost all human disease research labs worldwide, yes WORLDWIDE. Anytime you hear of something being tested on human cells, chances are they're talking about HeLa cells. We have a little "garden" of them growing in the lab where I work and I have the honor of feeding them every other day.

I know you came here expecting some interesting story or the other...yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm working on it.

Let the games begin already!

2006-08-24T11:29:00.000-04:00

As the days go by, my applications are gradually reclaiming their spot somewhere close to the front burner. I'm trying not to allow my still unverified primary applications get to me. It will be officially one month tomorrow since submission. At this time of the year I was expecting to have had some interviews in the bag by now, but so far I have only received four secondaries and expecting at most 16 more. Oh well...I'll just have to be patient and keep praying that AAMC gets its act together sooner than later. Till then though, I am completing the few secondaries I have been blessed with in as little time as possible. Some of them have been nothing short of a joke and others have been a little more involved than the others. One of the Ivy League ones is actually asking me to type out my responses on the paper application they sent me. Helllooo...this is like the 21st century where am I going to find a typewriter? Tsall good though, beggar has no choice.

So in my "free time", I've been casually preparing for the much awaited interviews. First on the to do list is to purchase a suit. Yes even after I realized the need during college I still didn't buy one. They are just too darn expensive and the need hadn't come up again, well, until now. I actually bought one at the beginning of the summer but it's not exactly appropriate. BLUE, with PINK and WHITE pinstripes. It probably sounds ugly but it really is cute. CUTE in a not-for-an-interview kinda way. The only befitting ones I've seen so far are at EXPRESS and they seem to be going for nothing less than $250! If anyone has tips on where to find affordable suits that don't look like home-made halloween costumes, your comments are really welcome. Then there's also the question of whether to get a pant suit or a skirt suit. Again John I-know-it-all says that most of the interviewers are conservative old-school doctors and might not like the idea of a woman wearing the pants in medicine...but the rebel in me wants to do exactly that, just because. When I think of the price of the flight and all the stress of travelling though, I might just have to conform to whatever the good doctor wants!

I've also been mentally planning my interviewing strategies. The way I see it, I have two options. I could go in there, like I don't want the position. You know, not try to suck up. Not try to read my interviewer's mind as to the answers he/she wants for his questions. Just answer truthfully and candidly. Like telling him(I'll just stick to "he" cus chances are it will be a "he") my stand on pro-choice or pro-life varies with the situation because let's face it, it's easier to have an opinion about someone else's life but when it happens to you, that's a whole different story. Or telling him that the only reason I volunteered in the hospital was really because I was required to do so, not from the beauty of my heart. And it's not until after I actually did it that I enjoyed it and not the reverse. Ok this might sound extreme but I used a milder variation of this at my Miu Corp Interview and I still got the job...but that was an internship not med school so it might be a bit different. I think I might try this at a few schools I really don't care much about(depending on how many interviews I have, I might end up having to care about them all) and see if it works before trying it at others.

But let's face it, a school like say...Harvard that everyone applies to, say they interview ~900 people for ~120 positions, which is usually the scenario, you will really need something that makes you stand out. In a good way that is, and giving thesame answers as everyone else will probably not help. Ok again I need your contributions here...whether or not you are currently in medical school, whatever job or position it was that you interviewed for and got, what do you think made you stand out and if you didn't get it, what were those words you wished you never mentioned? Apart from your statistics, etc. Hopefully we can all learn something, if you take all your knowledge to the grave what good will it do you and the bacteria 6 ft under?

Option 2 is obvious...nod at everything the interviewer says, try not to get into a heated argument, look as conservative as possible, etc...cookie cutter candidate, boring!

Perhaps an Option 1.5 might be the best shot...we'll see.

I'm really depending on some feedback on this one, so since the AAMC isn't bringing it on, let our own games begin...

"Whatever can go wrong, will DEFINITELY go wrong"

2006-08-21T00:47:00.000-04:00

...aka DEVIL is a freaking LIAR

OK it's been quite a minute but you will have to bear with me, some hardcore stuff been going down lately. I turned in one of my secondaries (Boston) on Friday, slowly but surely, I'm getting them in. I still can't get over the fact that all I had to do was walk into our office supply room and get free Fedex materials to mail my stuff out. Maybe that's not a big deal to you but believe me every little bit counts, if not I would have been trying to figure out what bus will get me to the fedex office, how to get there before 5pm, and numerous other details. Thank GOD for little mercies.

And the big ones too, like good health. Cliche...but very true. The last few weeks have been CRAZY. At the end of this post, all I need you to do is take away a few important lessons.

I woke up two Mondays ago, hoping the week will fly by as fast as all the others. I still couldn't believe it was already August, felt like yesterday I was just the new kid on the block at work and now here I was feeling I had been there for 20+ years. Anyways I was doing the daily clean up routine in the shower and that's when I noticed some little white spots on my inner lip. I was supposed to stop by the hospital that day anyways to get some blood tests done before I started volunteering so I was going to ask then. But I couldn't help but go to the nearby pharmacy before my hospital appointment. I asked the pharmacist what exactly it was...she looked at me like I had the plague and told me she had no clue, I should go see a doctor. Alarm one went off in my head. Tried to hit snooze, but the button was stuck.

I counted every second till my appointment at the hospital. Finally came, I asked the doctor/technician, I really don't know what he was, other than he was authorized to draw blood. He had to know something. He waved me off and said that every once in a while the mouth went on its own home remodelling project and decided to shed and replace all its old cells. Understandable enough. Then came the itching and a few rashes.

This probably started on Tuesday But nothing much else happened over that day, the white spots disappeared, but the itch continued. I was beginning to think they were just insect bites or maybe I just needed to wash those sheets. (NOTE TO SELF: Can't put off doing that laundry any longer, just 5 bucks, 5 bucks!). But nothing much else happened over that day, the white spots disappeared, but the itch continued.

Then came the sore throat on Thursday. At this point I was no longer comforted by Dr.Who's HGTV theory. I decided to GOOGLE my symptoms. Wrong move people...WRONG MOVE! All kind of crazy pictures, diseases I had never heard of in my life and some that were recently becoming all too familiar. Alarm 2, 3 and 4 went off simultaneously. But I had to keep calm, I still had to show up to work and perform, regardless of how "old faithful" was feeling, still too early to take that sick day. I decided to go back and talk to Dr.Who, to let him know that his theory was tanking fast and I needed a different explanation for the symptoms. Why not go to a certified physician this time? Well, let's just say Health Insurance doesn't grow on trees.

Unfortunately, he was busy so I had to talk to another lady who was apparently having a bad day. She shooed me off like I was some housefly and told me to get over myself that it was probably just some virus. Can a girl not just want to confirm some symptoms? Things just seemed to get worse, I got a fever, swollen lymph nodes, severe just-hiked-through-the-sahara dehydration and flu symptoms. I found a free community health care service. Here they did some tests, everything was thankfully negative, yes THAT TEST too, but they said to come back and show them the white spots if they come back.

To stop myself from going completely crazy, I've tried to stop diagnosing myself online and just see a professional. I finally gave in and purchased health insurance yesterday. Gone are the college days of playing hide and seek with the international office trying to get by without paying for insurance we never used. So I will be going back to the clinic tomorrow trying to find out what exactly is going on. It probably really is some virus but better be safe than sorry, I know my GOD won't let me down. Needless to say "Fight-or-Flight" has successfully kicked my applications to the back burner's back burner till further notice.

So what are those lessons you need to remember?
- GOOGLE is good for a lot of things, but CERTAINLY not for everything
- HEALTH really is WEALTH
- Murphy's darn Law holds true in all situations, so don't try to avoid it, just make necessary accomodations.

Reflecting...

2006-08-16T08:44:00.000-04:00

So now are y'all getting an idea of why I said this journey hasn't been easy? It was really hard for me to absorb the fact that I pretty much failed the exam my first trial. I was even more pissed of at the biology section, I got a 9/15. I felt betrayed. Me and Biology were supposed to be tight, and it up and announced to the world that our friendship wasn't real. We'll settle that later. I got an "R" in the writing section which is only two letters away from the highest score (T) but who was going to admit a doctor who knew how to describe an operation on paper but supposedly didn't know where the patient's heart was located?

I was comforted by knowing that I didn't study hard for it. The most annoying thing about the whole issue was when I talked to other premeds about their results....I pretty much told them my score straight up, no mincing words. I didn't do well, I didn't do well, no point in lying. And you won't believe these "kids" won't tell me what they got, they'll be like "I did Ok" or "I did better than I thought". I used to be so pissed off. It's like telling someone "I love you" and the person just nodding in response. Maybe they were feeling sorry for me and didn't want me to know they got a 35 but I didn't and still don't appreciate the sympathy.

Anyways, I've been a bit under the weather of late and been busy trying to complete some of the secondaries I got...I had another one from the school I currently work at but theirs is non-rolling so technically no hurry. I've gotten all my recommendation letters in order so I really want to get the apps done and send them out by the end of the week, you know, get them off my shoulder.

And you are right if you thought I took the exam again. The details of that will come in another post. I feel the urge to say some lovey-dovey stuff to you guys at the end of every post but I'm trying not to sound cheesy. Thanks for reading though...You know I looo' u, yes u that never puts up any comments but still reads it everyday and you that comments all the time and keeps things interesting...

The past part III

2006-08-13T15:18:00.000-04:00

Theme parks on a beautiful summer Saturday. You wait in line for hours, watch some "smart" teenagers cut in front of you, hear those on the ride scream as their organs get thrown around and prepare yourself for thesame. Then you think about random stuff like what school the roller coaster's engineers graduated from, if they ever went to their physics classes, if they passed statics and dynamics, or if they even graduated at all...Then you get on the ride for all of three minutes, get off and repeat the cycle somewhere else. Even worse, you forget to check if you're tall enough, and in some cases slim enough, to get on the ride before joining the line, then all the hours of waiting are wasted. Reminds me of the sometimes skewed mentality of some guys. They buy her gifts, buy her drinks, take her to movies, carry her books, laugh at all her "jokes", etc. They wait and prepare. In this case for weeks and sometimes months. Why? Just to get her in a certain position for three minutes. They forget to do their background check to see if she's that kind of girl, or they make one wrong move, then all the weeks/months are wasted, but she will still have the teddy bears, will still have drunk that drink and will still think she has good jokes. His loss, her gain. It's all about good preparation and yes, covering all your bases. I wish I knew that back when I was preparing for the MCAT.

I had experienced the whole exam vicariously through one of my high school friends (we'll call her "smart-one") that was about a year ahead of me in college. The strenous preparation, the long days, late nights and such and had seen her do very well in the exam (mid 30's). So when I finally decided to take the exam I decided to follow in her foot steps and sign up for the famously over-priced Kaplan course. Luckily for me I was outside "The Ends of the Earth" at the location of Miu Corp and the course was available locally. So I went to class after work all through the summer, paid as much attention as I could summon after staring at a computer for 8 hours, and tried to do the whole mental preparation thing. Till now, "smart-one" had ingrained in my head how I was among the smartest people she knew (probably remebering my high school glory days when all the brain cells were still ready and willing) and how I was bound to get at least a 40 on the test. I guess when you hear something often enough you start believing it. So I started believing I could slaughter the exam with one pencil stroke...which wasn't necessarily a bad thing to believe, so far I backed it up with adequate preparation. But the moment that decided my fate in the exam came when we did our first practice test.

It was at this point I realized that most of the questions were based on reading passages. I had a quick flash back to the SAT verbal passages and ASSUMED they were going to be of similar difficulty..."Donkey"fication finally complete. You would think I would know better after scoring a 23 on the practice test, but for some reason, my brain had already registered that the exam was a walk-over and there was no going back. This led to me taking things REALLY easy during my preparation. I didn't stress myself out, I didn't see why. I didn't do any practice tests on my own, didn't study anything more than 30 minutes daily which entailed going through flash cards on the bus to work while keeping an eye on my purse.(Purse-watching became a full time job the moment my checking account started reporting a steady four-figure daily balance). As I gradually became more familiar with the exam and its questions, my practice tests improved and I began to feel more confident, well until the night before the exam.

Bear in mind that the exam is an 8 hour long exam that demands at least that many hours of sleep if you hope to perform your best. So the night before the exam after receiving numerous pep talks from quite a handful of people, I proceeded to glance at the supporting material that I was supposed to have studied on my own over the past few months. You know, the science summary books, the practice tests, etc. Page after page I freaked out a bit more. There was so much I hadn't done, no wonder I never got anywhere close to a 30 on the practice test. This was the first time it hit me that my preparation to that point was "slightly" lacking. And with every passing hour getting enough/any sleep was looking impossible. I had two choices, I could just not show up for the exam the next day($1500 for classes and $190 exam fees down the drain) or I could go for it and hope for some miracle. I remembered the few exams I had "free styled" through out my educational career and how I had been pleasantly surprised...sporadically. Maybe this would be one of those times.

Exam day came, I was running on three hours of sleep and eight of panic. Should really have been the other way around. I barely finished any of the sections. Physical Sciences was like greek,Verbal a bit better but didn't come close to finishing, writing...ok, biological sciences...good but could surely have been better. Time was up, and the proctor gave us one more opportunity to cancel the exam, it sounded very appealing. But I didn't/couldn't do it. Eight harrowing weeks later, the results came out.

I had gone after the "girl" for three months, paid for "her" drinks, laughed at "her" jokes and carried "her" books but I made one wrong move. I hadn't given her the respect she deserved. Not only was I unable to get "her" in the position I wanted, she had tossed me right out the window and left me to lick the wounds. My loss, her $190 gain.

We fall down, sometimes more than once, but we eventually get up and if we're sane, we don't follow thesame path again...if and only if we are sane.

PS: I got a 25 R on the test.

The things we do for money

2006-08-09T08:10:00.000-04:00

I'm sure by now you are getting tired of my financial lamentations...I really wish I could say it would be over soon, more for my sake than yours, but except by some miracle it doesn't look likely. A few weeks ago I was "managing" my checking accounts online. By managing, I mean making sure no one had cashed that check covering my share of the pizza we ordered eons ago, putting me and my struggling finances into the red light district. Luckily, no one had. But there were other things to worry about.

By now I had done the math and figured that I might end up spending close to $6000 by February next year on the whole application process. This is not a bad thing though, as that means I would have been invited and had to fly/drive to at least 15 of my 21, for interviews. After doing the math though (you'll be surprised at how much complex mental math you can do when you're facing impending brokedom), I realized that there was no way my 9 to 5, rather my 10ish to 7ish, was going to pay for the process and at the same time solve for the variable "x" (my survival after the process). So guess what I did...I called on one of my life lessons that I had thus far been trying to perfect.

I took INITIATIVE. You see, I did learn something from Miu Corp after all. But in all honesty, when faced with the "right" circumstances, you don't even need to TAKE initiative, it comes JUMPING at you from all corners. Literally and Figuratively. I had to sift through the 1000 ideas sprouting up in my head on how to make an extra dime, and come up with a robust plan B. Should I go back to my roots in customer service? You know, like waitressing, cashier, or maybe even the school library? Nahhh...the thought of sucking up to some Boss figure was not vey appealing. I needed to call my own shots. Determine when I got to work, how much I got paid, how I went to work or if I even went at all. You know, be an "entrepeneur". Ok maybe not exactly but you catch the drift. So what exactly did I eventually decide on?

After ruling out all those options that were ruled by a "boss"-archy and those that could potentially get my black behind deported, I was left with one. I had formally tutored biology in college for 4 years as well as math, physics and organic chem informally. So why not do it again, but this time on my on terms. All I had gotten for it till this point was a measly 7 bucks/hr, an occasional "thank-you", and an even more occasional threat to get beaten up for possessing an accent. So I upped my prices and put a very emotional "love for teaching" ad on craigslist, complete with how it wasn't just for the money but to satisfy my desire to help others...blah blah blah. It really wasn't just for the money though, like I said before, I was getting sick of watching Lifetime's rendition of "My father didn't love me so now I will kill all men that look at me" and I needed something to get me off the couch. And fast. Unfortunately though, no one seemed to be buying my emotional rantings. So I advertised again on another tutor website, and just waited. And waited.

It was during this waiting period that I decided to randomly try an SAT exam online. Seeing as I had boldly advertised I could help with the math section of the test and I had taken the exam almost six years ago, a refresher was very much in order. So there I was clicking on the first "SAT test" link good 'ole Uncle Google gave me about to show them who the math don was...or not. I solved the first problem easily. I hadn't lost my touch. Tried the next one, missed that. Can't win 'em all anyway. Then the next, that threw me off completely. Some random question about how to construct a fence with some rope and sticks. What the....? What happened to the retro style questions, you know, "it takes two men to build a house, how long will it take three...". OK, so the point is I bombed the test. At this point panic set in. I had not only advertised the SAT, but also the GRE and the GMAT, all of which I had not taken to this point, and didn't plan to take anytime soon. What on earth was I thinking? I considered deleting my ads and just forgetting about the whole tutoring thing, but as I remembered the kwashiorkor ridden state of my account, I decided otherwise...maybe no one will answer, it had been two weeks already anyways so why don't I just leave them up.

No such luck, about two days later someone emailed me, wanted help with GRE Math! Ok, be cool. We exchanged some emails and set up a meeting time. I quickly explained that I had never taken the GRE just in case he wanted some expert. He was fine with it, I wanted him to back out so bad, but he didn't. We talked about the good part, the money. My strategy was to find out how much regular tutors ask for (~$40/hr), and go way lower. It worked, I'm sure ol' boy was even beginning to wonder if it was some scam or something, the price was ridiculously low, to him, but to me it was a heck of a lot of money.

We had the first session this Monday and it really hasn't been as bad as I thought, the SAT is actually a bit more fanciful with its questions than the GRE. Some of the questions still throw me off though, but at least I gave the disclaimer that I wasn't a guru, so he doesn't always expect an answer in 2 seconds. Timewise it's harder than I thought, cus now I don't get any free time till 11pm at night(3 days a week) and it's even getting hard to put up posts here, but you know I won't leave you hanging for too long, so be patient with me. But the checks are darn good. Let's just say we're one step closer to solving for "x". I had to do all I could to resist cashing the first check the very next day. We don't want me looking desperately broke now do we?...it's the rule of the game, "The broke always try to look rich, and the rich just try to look normal...(Eric Jerome Dickey).

BREAKING NEWS!!

2006-08-05T01:38:00.000-04:00

You won't believe it, a few hours after putting up yesterday's post, I checked my email and VOILA! It was another secondary application. And believe it or not, it was from thesame school(one of the Boston ones) I saw that guy submitting his secondary for the other time. Thank GOD I didn't try anything stupid. All I can really say is HALELLUJAH, my GOD liveth!! Don't ask me to explain why I'm getting it now though 'cus technically my primary apps haven't been verified yet, but right now, Imma take whatever Imma get! I'm going to try to fill out the application as soon as I can and get all the necessary recommendation letters(another interesting story waiting to be told!) together.

PS: Location of the Schools I sent my primary apps to:
Boston
New York
Ohio
Pennsylvania
Illinois
Washington, DC
North Carolina
California

*And a few more whose locations might pretty much give up the school names

I have my preferences, but I'll really take whoever right now. Things are looking up though, 1 valuable secondary changes everything. In all my excitement, I screwed up one of my experiments at work yesterday so I'll be back in today, patching it up. Unfortunately there goes my Saturday but it will take more than that to get me down right now, what would I have been doing anyways, apart from getting caught up in two hour cycles of Lifetime movies!

Thanks for all the support, I'll keep you posted

Harsher Realities

2006-08-04T07:31:00.000-04:00

It's now about one week and three days since I submitted my application and it's still waiting in line to be reviewed. I keep telling myself it will eventually get on top of the stack but I can't help being worried. We are already in August, deep into the admission process and I am not even in contention yet! Only yesterday, at the bus stop, I saw one of those early birds I told you about, chatting away with his friend about how he was on his way to mail in his secondary app, to make matters worse, to one of the schools I was applying to myself! So there was my competition. The hater in me wanted to grab the envelope from him and run away with his precious credentials. You know, let him start over so I could buy myself some time. This could finally be a good time to put some of those MATRIX moves to use, I didn't understand the movie but at least I remembered some of the moves. For real though, who was I kidding, I could just see myself tripping on some imaginary rope placed there by "The Oracle" and getting the whooping of my life right there, infront of my job...bad career move. Even if I succeeded, this was definitely not the time to get some bad karma working against me. So I let him go. As I rode home that evening, trying to calm myself down, I had an epiphany. As hard as it was for me to admit, the world did not revolve around me getting into med school...

Let me introduce you to PAULA. I was drawn to her the first time I met her. Something about her, a certain quietness and calm. She reminded me of my mom a bit. She was probably in her late fifties and looked like life had dealt her some tough blows below the belt. Last week was my third time visiting her. She complained even more than usual this time. Her stomach was worse and all she could eat was fruit. I like fruits but dang! To be stuck eating that alone had to suck! Unlike the last two times I visited her, I didn't just talk to her for five minutes and run off. I forced myself to sit down, and actually hold a deep conversation. She asked about my life and I asked about hers. She talked about her children, the ones in the army which she worried about all the time and the one at home that she worried about just as much. She talked about how much pain she felt and how it was worse than the last time. Regardless of her complaints, I was just happy to see her again. I had not been there for about two weeks now and I was beginning to worry if she would still be there on my next visit. Again this time, the question was right at the tip of my tongue but I couldn't ask it. I thought about all the possible ways of asking without offending her. None of them sounded right. Where were the right words when you needed them?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I started volunteering at the AIDS Hospice where I met Paula a few weeks ago and it really has not been easy. I remember the week before I started, that's when the gravity of what I was about to to do hit me. I was going to deal, DIRECTLY, with people that had this disease. The people that were treated like our modern lepers. Even more importantly, was I risking my life? I spent most of my time online trying to find out if anyone had caught the disease while spending time with patients. I should know better right? Easier said than done. Believe me, all the theories you know about these things completely fall apart when you are actually faced with the practical situation. I knew everything about the virus. I knew how you could contract it and how you couldn't. But with a possible encounter looming ahead, I began to wonder how sure the scientists were about these details. 'Cus there ARE exceptions to every rule. Five years of science had taught me this, if nothing else. I kept thinking I was crazy for doing this, and then I began to wonder what my parents would think. Well, let's just say what they won't be finding out until it's over.

After a semester of immunology and mircobiology, you could wake me up in the middle of the night and I would rat out how the virus attacked human cells, step by step, detail after detail, but I did not know the first thing about interacting with the victims themselves. After those classes, I even developed a new respect for the virus. I mean this thing completely evades our amazing immune system. It's like getting past the worker termites, the soldiers and the drones to attack the queen of the nest. But it does it in disguise. How do you defend against something that looks just like you? The first stage in solving any problem is identifying it, but unfortunately our bodies won't even know there's something wrong until it's too late. It uses our own weapons to make itself stronger, and then turns around and uses these same weapons against us. Like Al-Queda, learning to fly planes in American Schools and using America's own planes to harm its people. At the same time getting past the CIA. But like 9/11 seeing the victims of this "Intelligent" virus only generates anger.

As I went around the hospice, I saw residents at various stages of the disease, some looked completely healthy while others were barely hanging on. I couldn't believe there was still no cure. But then again, every generation has its battle. The Bubonic Plague, Small Pox and now AIDS and each time, human sacrifices had to be made before the magic vaccine was found or the disease simply died out. As I was introduced to each resident I couldn't help but think. How did they get the disease? What was that one moment they replay in their head each time and wish never happened? Was it the day they met that partner? Or the day they needed that fix? Whether or not it was their "fault", they were paying for it now and unfortunately, the world was making them pay double for it too. Many of them had been shunned by family and friends. I would later find out that over 90% of the residents were there because of drug addiction and were still battling their addictions along with the disease. Yes, many of them put themselves in risky situations, but honestly, we are all just one wrong move away from the virus too. Harsh Reality.

I personally don't think Paula is/was a drug addict, she is a mother of four grown children that visit and call her often, has grand children and looks very well rounded. But then again, you never know. I cannot and might never find a good way to ask her how she got the disease, I don't even know if it is ethical to do so, but as I got ready to leave her again last week, I faced another problem, one I had faced the last two times also. What do I say? I couldn't really say "Get Well Soon" because technically that was almost impossible, neither could I give her any hope, because God knows I didn't have any. I knew I was going to spend the next two days or so thinking about her and the rest of the residents. I also knew that those couple of days will be filled with paranoia as to whether or not I exposed myself to the virus on my visits. Stupid but true. I will not stop going until I get over this. People take care of their spouses and children with the disease and do not contract it. Heck! People like Cookie Johnson are only a broken condom away from catching it so why on earth was I worried, when I never even did more than rub a shoulder? It's all in the mind guys, all in the mind. So as I walked out Paula's door, I said thesame thing I said the last two times... "Hang in there Paula, and see you next week"...I hope.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I spend the rest of the week worrying whether or not I will get into medical school, Saturday mornings put everything in perspective. I know that whether or not I become a doctor, as long as I'm alive, life goes on and I have other dreams to realize. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop "whinning" up here, but believe me I know things could be much worse.

Covering all the bases...

2006-08-01T08:10:00.000-04:00

Whatever happened to those applications from last week? *Sigh* Well remember I said I was going to turn them in on Wednesday? So I lied. I was going over them again Tuesday night and I just got so sick of reading it that I decided to turn it in. That, and the fact that I had just donated my entire paycheck to my credit card company, allowed things like spending $760 in one sitting now possible. With financial difficulties temporarily solved, the rest should be easy right? Unfortunately not.

It took me about ten minutes to hit the submit button. I just sat there and stared at the darn thing. I felt like I was about to lay my head on 21 chopping blocks nationwide, and all at thesame time. Like all this was not bad enough, the ever faithful process of second guessing myself kicked in too. Did I pick the right schools? Were 21 schools enough? Should I add a couple or so more?(This was actually financially impossible, but I still considered it). What was I thinking putting my life on the internet, when I wasn't even sure how the story was going to end? This was the real world not some chick flick where I'm sure the girl(me) will certainly get the guy(a med school). And why on earth was I applying to any Ivy League schools, did I even stand a chance? They'll probably just look at my app, toss it and admit some dude with a 45 on his MCAT instead. Why? Why? Why? My head was close to blowing up at this point, and I could feel tears stinging my eyes, but I wasn't going to let them(whoever "they" were) get to me. If they wanted me fine, if not, well, too bad...actually, my current stage of temporary insanity aside, if they didn't want me, I was technically screwed from all sides.

With my adrenalin, estrogen, testosterone and whatever other chemical swimming around my body, attaining their highest peaks in my life at this moment, I made some last minute decisions. I gave in and switched one of my higher end schools to a lower ranked one. Ironically to one of those that I so proudly stated I wasn't going to apply to because of their impractical financial requirements. I figured no harm having one in there, if that was the only one that ended up admitting me, I would have to do whatever "Simon" says, and do so by any means necessary. Oh well, I'll cross that ocean when/if I get to it. I hit submit, FINALLY. Apparently, the raging hormones were not ready to settle down yet and I remembered one base I hadn't covered.

My fellow Africans and some of you, might be very familiar with a process called "prayer and fasting". You see back home it's not something you just do when you're looking for a miracle. You do it on a regular basis. Do we just like to starve ourselves for no reason?...nahhh. With you not knowing which member of your extended family was currently visiting the village herbalist/native doctor/voodoo priest looking for that potion to make your life just that much worse, you had no choice, you fasted. Voluntarily, often and sometimes for extended stretches of time. In fact, everything religious was taken seriously. You woke up bright and early on Sunday morning, regardless of what time you slept or whose 60th birthday party you were jamming at all night, wore your best native attire and joined the mob of people travelling in the burning heat to seek their GOD. And even when we got to church, we didn't just sit down in our pews, listen to the wonderful sermon, mumble a few words in prayer, hug and kiss everyone and call it a day. Heck nahhh! We got on our knees and prayed. Like our lives depended on it. And more often than not, it did. So what happens when you're actually looking for a miracle? In this case you repeat all the above multiple times a week and in extreme cases, everyday of the week.

So if I was back home and about to go through something as important as this, I would have embarked on a one week prayer and fasting routine, without any hesitation whatsoever. But unfortunately something happens to many of us when we go abroad. All those religious things aren't of paramount importance anymore. GOD hears all prayers anyways so why stress? Some of us have also comforted ourselves with the rumor/fact that voodoo lacks the ability to cross the oceans(i.e any voodoo done in Africa, cannot affect them overseas). I don't know how true that is, I always forget to ask my mom but I'll surely remember to, next time I talk to her. Or if any of you have evidence about this, please share. So till then, believe whatever lets you sleep at night. Anyways, back to reality. As I sat there in front of the computer, one thing was certain. Sooner than later, I will have to do the routine too. If not for anything else, to satisfy myself that I did everything humanly possible. Didn't want to start second guessing myself again a year from now...I could already hear my stomach growling at the thought of having its steady supply of rice and stew interrupted for almost 24 hrs. But you got to do what you gotta do.

So at 9:45 pm today(yes I remember the exact minute I hit that button), it will be exactly one week ago I submitted my applications. But it is still awaiting verification so the schools haven't received it yet. They say verification can take up to 6 weeks but that is really on the high end. It usually takes about a week or a bit more unless you submit it during peak periods or there are some discrepancies they need to verify. E.g you telling them you got an "A" in biochem when your transcript proves otherwise. After the verification, I will be expecting the secondary applications.

Funny thing is that the very next day after I turned in my primary app, I got a secondary application via email from George Washington University, I was excited for a moment (another dose of temporary insanity) but then logical thought set in. If my apps haven't even been verified how could they screen it and determine I was eligible for a secondary app? As I read the application further, my question got answered.

"Please note that GW does not screen on the basis of the AMCAS application. We invite all applicants who submit an AMCAS application to GW to complete the secondary application and submit letters of recommendation so that we may review the entire file"

Wow that makes me feel special. There was more to come though. There was another clause somewhere that stated only U.S citizens were allowed to apply to the four year MD program. None U.S citizens were only eligible to apply for a 5 year international MD program after which you go back home for residency training. Why would I want to come all the way to the US do part of my training and go back home for the most important part? I called them yesterday, and they confirmed it, in fact F-1 students could not apply for the program at all, only people with J-1 visas(exchange visitors). I really thought I did my research, how could I have missed that?...Geeeez, there goes my 30 bucks and here comes another round of second guesses...

The past, part II

2006-07-28T07:42:00.000-04:00

Did you ever hear that funny play on words, Assumptions make an "a*s" of "u" and "me"? I think it's like the cleverest of these I've heard in a while...seriously. But to keep it PG up in here, I have proceeded to replace the not-so-well-accepted portion of this phrase with "donkey" (or "butt" whichever floats your boat). This is the story of how my ASSUMPTIONS made a "donkey" of me, in essence, The "Donkey"fication of Abbey.

Before I start, let's make sure we're all on thesame page. The location is Miu Corp right now and I have finally gotten over my "Wow! so this is where all the magic happens" phase. I came into this internship with lots of stories from my peers both within and outside "The Ends of the Earth". Apparently most of them were the best things to happen to their company. They had perfect reviews from their bosses. They were offered second internships/full time jobs the minute they submitted their first copy-paste projects. The design team could not hold a meeting without them. And last but most important of all, they ate lunch with the VP on a daily basis. So I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the drift. There's a BIG difference between stretching the truth and straight up lying. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell that difference back then. I soaked up all these stroies ASSUMING my "peeps" will never lie to me and patiently waited for some or all of these "great" things to happen to me too. ASSUMPTION #1 made, "Donkey"fication stage I complete.

It's now month 3 and still no one has invited me to any special events with the VP, and most meetings, I was lucky if they remembered to leave room for me at the conference table. Even when they did, there was this neon sign on everyone's head that clearly stated: NO COMMENTS NEEDED FROM YOU. I remember one of the first times I decided to ignore this notice. It was at one of our design meetings and I made what I thought to be a brilliant suggestion. Trying to show them I can do more than photocopy 400 page manuals...you know, "for the team". They all looked at me, nodded and pretended to take notes, finally I thought, someone was listening. But for some reason, this "brilliant" suggestion never got implemented. Maybe I should ASSUME they'll implement it in the second release of the product? Nahhh, too soon for "Donkey"fication stage II.

So as you can see, it was very easy to feel like an overpaid human xerox machine in this new world. But the future was looking bright, I was finally beginning to understand their tech savvy mumbo jumbo. Luckily for me the project we were working on was a new one so everyone else was as clueless as I was. So when we weren't at team meetings trying to understand the project, I spent the rest of the work day devouring the design specification manual. OK, I'll be honest. I spent the rest of the day perfecting how to sleep sitting upright. Don't blame me, there really was nothing to do, even my team leader couldn't come up with stuff for herself. You might be wondering how all this ties in to learning who I really was. Well for sure, one thing I had learnt so far was that my daily productivity was inversely proportional to how much I ate for lunch. But apparently, there were still more painful lessons to come.

You see there are these things called Mid-Coop reviews where you meet with your manager and he updates you on your performance so far. I was excited at the prospect of finding out how many times my manager had caught me drooling at my desk. So on the appointed date, I got to work earlier than ususal, updated myself on all I had done so far, just in case he decided to give me a pop quiz and got ready for our meeting. The meeting was going well, he discussed his opinion about my work, my personality and my team members opinion about my performance. Everything was excellent. Perfect scores on all sections except one, "efficiency at performing tasks" or something like that. I asked him why that was lower, his answer? I had not done enough yet for him to judge that. Understandable. Afterall, the developers were still writing the code so there was nothing for me to test yet. We were now about to round up, but for some reason I was feeling very confident with myself. I ASSUMED I could handle anything. ASSUMPTION #2 made, "Donkey"fication stage II complete.

Maybe I should have just let the meeting end, but I don't regret doing what I did next because it changed my life forever. Really it did. I asked my manager one more question. "What did I needed to improve on?" I honestly thought he was going to give me a pat on the back (or an equivalent that did not qualify as sexual harassment), and say everything was perfect. He was quiet. My heart had since stopped beating at this point and I could hear my brain screaming for its blood supply. But it wasn't getting any until I heard the answer to my question. The answer came, luckily before I suffered a stroke. "Take more Initiative". Yup that was the answer. The sad thing was that I knew what exactly he wanted me to do. Things were slow in my department, so he probably expected me to ask permission to spend a week or two with the developers and work on some stuff with them. The even sadder thing was that I thought of this everytime I sat at my desk doing nothing , but give up a nap to write some code? Sorry I just couldn't do it. Yes I love coding that much! Also, I "knew" for sure I wasn't going to end up in corporate America after college. So I worked hard, but the whole "above and beyond" deal was asking too much. There was just no motivation to do so. No motivation at all. Till that faithful meeting I thought I could do anything, whether or not I had a passion for it, and still be the best at it. I learnt otherwise. Unfortunately my "donkey"fication was still not complete, stage III?...my encounter with... The MCAT!!("insert action sequence music here")

....to be continued

Some things you might want to know...

2006-07-25T19:43:00.000-04:00

In preparation for the chosen day (tomorrow), I will proceed to go over my applications again for like the millionth time. The last 999,999 times I went over them, everything I wrote prior always looked so stupid. I always find some new website that has a supposedly indispensable list of " The BIG 10 don'ts for primary applications" and each time, I find out I'm always in violation of at least 7 of them. What can a sister do? I can't delete an essay that took me a month to write just because "John I-know-it all" says what I saw on "Jane I-know-more than-John's" website is wrong. ANYWAYS, I will be going over the applications for the LAST time tonite and only making GRAMMAR corrections. Those grammatic errors are also just a pain. I'm beginning to feel like someone goes into my account and adds new errors while I'm away because there just always seems to be a new one hiding somewhere...as you can rightly tell, the sooner I turn these apps in, the better my mental health will be.

So in the calm preceeding the next hurricane season (secondary applications), I will go ahead and fill you in on the rest of my past. To make sure we're all on thesame page, here is a link to some useful statistics http://www.aamc.org/data/facts/2005/2005mcatgpa.htm . It might be quite overwhelming and completely useless to you now, but it will all come to make complete sense in the weeks to come.

To cut the long story short, here is my version of the requirements:

MCAT Possible Score Range: 3 - 45 , Score to aim for >= 30 (almost guaranteed admission)

Physical Sciences: Score Range: 1-15, Score to aim for >=10

Verbal Reasoning: Score Range: 1-15, Score to aim for >= 9

Writing Section: Score Range: J through T , Score to aim for >= P

Biological Sciences: Score Range: 1-15, Score to aim for >=10

Cummulative GPA >= 3.6/4.0

BCPM GPA >= 3.7/4.0 and > Cummulative GPA

Choose your destiny:
MCAT Score between 3 and 24: Only by some miracle can you get in, unless you're Black (not African), Hispanic, etc
(It was pointed out to me that Asian Americans are not included in this category. I had earlier thought that even though they had higher scores on average, they were still considered minority)

MCAT Score between 25 and 29: Your chances are a bit higher, but all thesame questionable. Financial aid is however, still very uncertain, unless of course you are of ethnic origin.

MCAT Score between 30 and 32: You are guaranteed a spot like I said earlier, but remember beggars can't be choosers.

MCAT Score 33 and above: The Sky is only the beginning. Ironically, some schools are very wary of extremely high scores (greater than 39 or so), then they begin to wonder if you actually have any people skills or you spent most of your adult life studying for the MCAT!

MCAT Score of 45: NO COMMENTS!

* wonderful extracurricular activities like extensive research, publications, athletics, etc can sway all these predictions drastically.

By the way "Physical Sciences" really means "Physics and General/Inorganic Chemistry" and "Biological Sciences" means "Biology and Organic Chemistry". The Verbal Reasoning is also not just reading comprehension. I really wish it was. It's exactly what the name says - VERBAL REASONING. They say all the answers are in the passage but thats a freaking lie. You have to read the passage and become the author. You have to get in his/her mind and think like them because at the end they're going to ask you some random question like what should be the topic of the next paragraph, or what was the author really thinking when he/she said blah blah blah. How on earth are we supposed to know? I apologize for my bad attitude and all but all I can say is no one should leave me in thesame room with the person/people/committee that created this exam. One word for the events that will occur.FOOLHARDINESS!

On a calmer note, I will fill you guys in on another part of my story in a few days.

PS: As I will be turning the apps in soon, I will appreciate it if you can bookmark my page if you are still interested in viewing it. Also, delete the link from your walls if you can (facebookers), if not I'll be going around and doing that in a few days. If you want to leave it on your wall do so, but pls find a way to get rid of my smiling face next to it. Operation "Get-Under-The-Radar" is officially in full swing.

COLD FEET!

2006-07-24T17:36:00.000-04:00

ANONYMITY. The POWER to say what you want, when you want, how you want and about who you want BUT simultaneously denying the world the ability to trace it back to you...

Unfortunately I lack this power (thanks to my profile on some webpages of choice) . S0 as the faithful day when I bare my soul to "the 21" draws nigh ("the 21"= the 21 med schools on my list, "Faithful Day" = Wednesday), I'm beginning to wonder. Exactly how much can I say about them on here? Especially these days when HR representatives view facebook profiles before making hiring decisions. How do I know the admission committees (adcomm) don't have some Steve Urkel type guy stashed away somewhere, digging into the depths of the web for dirt on me?...

FOOLHARDINESS. The ABILITY to not only look death (or equivalent) in the eye BUT actively pursue it without knowing one lacks the POWER to conquer it...

Unfortunately, I have been known to display this ability more than once. And once again, its looking appealing. I'm thinking of letting all my thoughts out and ignoring those nosy people that might be poking around! Life is full of risks anyway, right?

SELF-INTELLIGENCE. The STATE OF MIND of understanding the ABILITIES one has and the POWER one lacks...

Fortunately, for a change, I get into this state of mind occasionally. So in order to save my behind, I have restricted my profiles on these websites of choice to my "friends" alone. Of course the definition of "friends" in reality and on facebook, for example, are VERY different. We add people as friends just because they held the door open for us yesterday, or we sat next to them in class the other day, to name a few of the random reasons. So I can only HOPE that none of these "friends" are part of some adcomm somewhere that would print out everything I say on here, hand it right back to me come interview day, and make sure I never smell the four walls of a hospital.(I know they have some students on those adcomms). That is assuming of course they let me get as far as the interview! I'm fresh out of any intelligent ideas to protect myself. So bring it on, life is a highway they say, and right now I'm going 90, right through a school district! (ahem...GOD HELP ME!!)

Interesting link: http://www.salisbury.edu/careerservices/students/Dangers.htm
PS: In view of this, I will be a little more vague in terms of institutions where I worked etc, but I promise, the story will still be good and you'll get the drift.

The past...(part 1 of I really don't know)

2006-07-23T15:32:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just choose to become an engineer, or something that didn't require at least 12 yrs of training. You know, graduate, start making my cash like most of y'all are doing and have a choice as to whether or not to go to grad school. But I knew if I did that, I will be cheating myself. How can I be an engineer when I pretty much drooled on every word my professor uttered in anatomy class? Thank GOD for policies, after two semesters of Anatomy, I thought I was a doctor already because I could finally understand a word or two from ER. Unfortunately life isn't that easy.

If it was, I really would have been a doctor by now. Afterall, I was already in med school back home and all my mates are currently in their final year about to start their internships. But nooooo, I couldn't pass up a chance to pursue the "American Dream". So I proceeded to up root my whole life in 2001 and come up to a very small town in Michigan aka "The Ends of the Earth". For some reason, my wise self decided to major in computer science, you know, I wanted to have a back up plan in case med school didn't work out. A classic case of a good idea executed badly. At least thank GOD I realized this before my GPA became completely non-existent. So I changed majors. To Bioinformatics. Less coding, more biology. Priceless.

In between all this jumping around , I missed a visit or two with my advisor and ended up wasting two summers finding new ways to sit on a couch at different locations around the country. What could I have done you might wonder? Well there was no money for classes, I didn't have the heart to ask my dad to pay tuition three times in one year. I could have volunteered at the hospital or something, but honestly, at this point, I had no clue that I had to volunteer or do anything outside school to get into med school. It was hard keeping tabs with my bioinformatics requirements and my premed ones. It was not until I started talking to some of my other premed friends that I found out most of what I had to do. Research...Doctor Shadowing...Volunteering, etc. There was a problem though. All these either paid nothing at all or almost nothing compared to what I needed. The answer laid in corporate America. This again was a problem. My resume was looking rather empty, all I had done till this point was wash dishes in the cafeteria and tutor. Well let's repharase that. I was a vital part of a cafeteria team ensuring that all parties were served in optimal hygiene conditions. But I still needed a job whose description I didn't have to rephrase.

So come October 2003, in the middle of "The Ends of the Earth's" first snow fall, I attempted to put together my best corporate outfit (I had nothing close to a suit in my wardrobe at this point in my college career) and walk up the humongous hill to the sports center for our annual career fair. Every step I took, I kept asking myself why? Why was I bothering myself? Why was I out in the freaking cold, doing my first cardio workout in ages in uncomfortable clothes? I had been up at the career fair twice before. You see my school is an engineering school so we only get about two companies, out of 200 or so, who are interested in non-engineering majors. Of these two companies, zero of them hire internationals. I was already half way up by now and what else could I be doing? Confusing myself more in my data structures class? Never! Anyways I knew I would keep asking myself "what if?" if I didn't go up there and try. So I did. I joined the parry and tried to explain to the recruiters what exactly my major was while thinking to myself how good all the guys looked cleaned up.

A friend of mine had earlier told me that one of the top technology companies (let's call it Miu Corp) had a life sciences dept that might be interested in someone who knew a little bit about computers and biology. So I went up to talk to them, knowing fully well they had kicked me out the last two times immediately they heard my "weird" name. But this time, I started differently. I told them about their life sciences dept and how my major was just the right combination they needed. The guy was nodding. That was the first truthful nod I had gotten from any of the recruiters. Good sign! Then he asked the dreaded question "Are you legally authorized to work in the US without sponsorship?" Of course I said yes! It wasn't a lie, heck I was working in the cafeteria and they weren't sponsoring me (whatever that meant).

Long story short, I got the job. A premed major working in a tech company testing some developers code. Apart from saving up for my tuition and getting a much needed wardrobe upgrade, I began to discover who I really was...

(...to be continued)

My most useful links:

2006-07-22T18:58:00.000-04:00

http://www.fiu.edu/~preprofc/International_Students_School_Policies.htm
This website lists all the medical schools in US and Canada and their policies towards international students.

http://mdapplicants.com/viewprofile.php?id=5028
This one is a profile of a fellow international student and his experience in the application process

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/edu/grad/rankings/med/medindex_brief.php
Here are different rankings of US medical schools, for each school click on the "student body" link to see their acceptance rates and the different kinds of students admitted.

http://www.accepted.com/medical/default.aspx
Tips for all applicants, including tips to give your recommenders

http://intransit.us/guidebook/progstudy.html
For people interested in MD/PhD programs (most of these programs cover your tuition and give you a stipend)

http://services.aamc.org/currdir/section3/degree2.cfm?data=yes&program=mdmba
Schools with MD/MBA Programs

http://services.aamc.org/currdir/section3/degree2.cfm?data=yes&program=mdjd
MD/JD Programs (Yes, you can be both a doctor and a lawyer, having a life along with that is a different story)

http://services.aamc.org/currdir/section3/degree2.cfm?data=yes&program=mdmph
MD/MPH Programs

So how exactly does the process work?

2006-07-22T09:47:00.000-04:00

For the benefit of my non-premedically inclined readers (aka layman) and anyone else that wants to understand the process, I proceed to explain the long winding process of applying to med school...

The first stage is of course knowing you want to be a doctor. The only deadline that exists here is realizing this fact while you're still mentally and physically capable of doing whatever this journey entails. This might be at age 70 for some people or as early as age 30 for others. Personally, I believe the earlier the better. You will need all the time you can get to pay up the loans you were so generously granted, or just to get your credit history back above 500 after 4 years of swiping your life away. People have been known to decide to study medicine as late as 40 and then there's most of us that figure this out before our college graduation. So now you know you want to be a doctor, what next?

Well, next you have to take those group of classes that will assure you of meeting the inital requirements for application to most schools. This usually consists of at least 4 semesters of biology and chemistry, one year of physics, psychology, writing and history. Technically this is easy unless you don't talk to your advisor till late in your college career, in which case you're kinda screwed into spending some extra time in undergrad. You also have to squeeze in a few lab research experiences and tangible clinical volunteer experiences. So every summer you spend bumming out at home, just know it will come back to hunt you. Somewhere between matriculation and graduation, you proceed to take the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT).

Ahhh the MCAT, the official guardsman of the Holy of Holies. Only the fit can conquer this obstacle and proceed into the fortress. Do I have stories for you or what? But I'll try not to get too personal in this post...that's for the next one. You know I have to spread them out, if not my page will be looking rather scanty. So stay tuned. Anyways, till August of this year, the MCAT is an 8 hour exam that supposedly tests how much of the "basic" concepts you have grasped in your science classes. Personally, I don't think there's anything freaking basic about it, but then again, we're not getting personal here, so I'll move on...It has 4 sections-Physical Sciences, Verbal, Writing and Biological Sciences.You can read more about it here http://www.aamc.org/students/mcat/start.htm . Up till now, you were given two tries a year to pass it and three tries total to get your ideal score. If you still want to take it again a fourth time, you have to show a letter of rejection from one school and some other info. But after this year, it will be held 19 times a year (wow!) but you still have only 3 tries at getting the score you want. After finally conquering the MCAT, say...on your first try(ahem!) and usually around the end of your junior year in college, you proceed to apply to med schools during senior year. Oh I forgot to mention, it costs about 200 bucks to take the exam, and this increases by about $10 every year.

If the MCAT is expensive, then the application process completely sucks whatever juice is left in your already suffering free checking account and/or your shiny student credit card(credit limit permitting). First you fill out the cumbersome primary application on the aamc website (http://www.aamc.org/). The main theme here is to make your years as a dishwasher in the school cafeteria sound like it made you a better person. So you will need (or have to know someone with) a way with words to phrase your experiences, or the lack thereof, right. You will also have to write a page and a half essay explaining why you want to be a doctor (emotional personal story required!!). This application is not due till around October but thanks to most school's Rolling Admission Policy, you better turn it in way before then (of course with some discretion, I don't recommend turning it in the first day, but who am I?). By the way, "rolling" means that the med schools don't wait to receive all applications before looking at them. They process them as they receive it.

So after you turn in the primaries (160 bucks for the first school, and 30 bucks for every additional one) and all your transcripts (yes, that include's the one from that community college in Alpine, WY), they calculate your cumulative GPA and your Biology Chemistry Physics and Math (BCPM) GPA and send them to your listed schools. Said schools now look at your numbers (i.e MCAT and GPAs), make sure you have all the right experiences ie volunteer and research and scheme your personal statement (in that order) then decide if they want to send you a secondary app.

So if you're lucky enough to get a secondary, you fill that out as soon as possible too and send it back in. You will probably need to write two or three more essays per app, get your letters of recommendation (lors) and pay another set of application fees. Yes...they still want more money, on average about $70 per school. If they like what they see, they call you in for an interview, which you fund yourself. Here they mostly try to find out your views on medical issues and what not, and ask whatever questions they want. Including, but not limited to, why did you have to take physics three times?

After the interviews you wait again to hear back as to whether or not you've been accepted. If you have, you will be invited for the second look weekend which they fund (about time!) and if you have many schools to select from, you make a choice and if not thank the Lord for that one school. Of course if you don't get accepted you can wait a year, improve on your experiences and try again next year.

So now that I've bored you with these details....we can finally get personal!

The present...

2006-07-22T02:17:00.000-04:00

So I finally got around to creating this blog...it was easier than I thought. I used to think I had to relive some of my computer science nightmares just to get this up and running. Thank God for other people that enjoy making such things easy for the rest of us. I am watching CASINO right now and I think its Robert Deniro, or some other dude, doing the voice over who mentioned something about the Holy of Holies...and that solved the naming problem.

This is my story of the journey to my LONG term dream, becoming a board certified physician. Which of course starts with getting into medical school (aka Holy of Holies)...there's a catch though. Its the F-1 version. In case you didn't know, an F-1 student is an international student, yes, we are the ones with the thick accents that have to repeat everything we say at least twice to get across to you. That is of course until we perfect the act of sounding somewhat American, which in itself still solves the problem only part way.

So unlike the average applicant that has about 125 schools to choose from, we F-1's only have...let's see....a little less than half of that. Why? you might wonder, shouldn't all the schools want us? You know, to add on to their diversity quota and what not. For some reason though, they think we should have stayed in our third world countries where we belong. Which when I think about it, would not have been a bad idea...but thats another story for another time. So to deter us people, they put up walls. Huge ones. The tallest of which is that most of them just don't accept internationals period. Of the fraction that actually does, half of them want us to pay our tuition and fees for all four years (~ $200,000) in advance before admission confirmation, yes they want us to pay ummmm...the equivalent of 30 000 000 nigerian naira in advance. To put that in perspective, that is enough money to build about 2 six-bedroom duplexes back home(naija peeps, correct me if I'm wrong). Even by American standards, that is enough for a four bedroom house down south and you actually have 30 yrs to pay this! Personally, I think anyone that pays all this at once without loans should be investigated by all anti-corruption bodies both in the United States and the greater planet earth!

So due to certain circumstances beyond my control, I will not be applying to this "small" fraction of schools that require the equivalent of body parts in payments. As of now I have 21 carefully researched and scrutinized schools on my list and as soon as finances allow ($760, God Help Me!) I will be turning in my primary applications. This has to be within the next few days too because the early birds have had theirs in for almost about a month now. I'm really not liking this rolling admission thing much. Why can't we just have that one blessed day when everything is due so we can all stay up the night before, turn it in at the last minute and hope the system crashes so we get another day or so(lol!). You know, just like they taught us in college.

So I will try to keep everyone interested updated on my progress! I can't guarantee daily posts but everytime I hear something new from my schools, I am bound to put it up here. So in the next year or so, one of three things can happen:
1. I get admitted into one of my 21 schools
2. I get admitted into one of my 21 schools with lots of money in aid and...
3. I don't get admitted all together in which case there would be a systematic change to a PhD program of choice, that is of course after taking the GRE sometime in Novemeber and hopefully meeting the deadline for most of these programs(mid-Dec). (GOD FORBID!!!!!!!!!).

So needless to say, the next year is going to be an emotional roller coaster and all you get to do is read, shake your head, laugh with me and maybe cry with me. Scratch that...let's just say laugh with me, I'm going to try the optimisitic route here.